308 National Housewife's Day

Among other celebrations, today's both National Housewife’s Day and Give Someone a Dollar Day. A funny story...

Because I love my job and my profession, a pretty good day is typical for me. But when I'm off, on Sundays, I savor something exquisite.

I play golf.

Eighteen holes, so I came home hungry, as usual, as my wife was cooking dinner. It smelled good, like usual. It was a big production every Sunday, because that's when my family—her in-laws—came to visit. They'd come hungry, too, as usual.

"Honey, I'm home!" I chirped as I crossed the threshold. It was also National Cliché Day, so I weighed in successfully on that. But I was focused on National Housewife Day. "Honey, I'm home," I repeated, even more joyfully.

"Don't 'honey' me!" she shouted. Uh-oh.

"What's wrong?" And I got the look. That look. "My dear, love of my life, what's troubling you?"

"Nothing!" she said curtly, "nothing at all."

This, of course, is wife-talk for "Something. Something at all."

I approached her from behind as she stood at the stove. I put my arms around her waist and groped her belly lovingly.

"Don't," she warned.

"Understood," I replied. "Say, did you know that today is National Housewife's Day?" She bristled. "Ah!" I said. I was getting warm.

"Ask me," she seethed, "love of my life, what I did on National Housewife's day, would you?" Her love-of-my-life was a lot different than my love-of-my-life.

"Hmm..."

"Let me help. I went to the grocery then came home and took out 11 bags and carried them into the house and put away all of the groceries and made the beds and cleaned up the dog vomit—again—and picked up the plate and cup you left for me and hand-washed all of the dishes because we have company coming today—yours—and vacuumed and dusted and finally changed that light bulb I've been asking for months for you to do and—"

"Whoa!" I said. "Now I understand, my poor baby..."

"Do you? Really? One more thing, I swear, and I'll—"

"I really do understand," I cooed, "how hard you work. I reached into my pocket. "Here," I said, "here's a dollar."

_______________

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

For Sunday, November 3, Day 308 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge.

366 WORDS (without A/N)

58 DAYS TO GO! THIS DOMESTICATION CHORES ON, 366 HOLES A DAY.

There are currently three Vocal writers in this 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:

• L.C. (Did you leave this for the maid?) Schäfer

• Rachel (How many times have I asked you?) Deeming

• Gerard (Hey...I just forgot) DiLeo