306 All Saints' Dais

"You're probably wondering why I called you all here, saints."

There was resentment in the audience, for there was no one there who needed do anything further for anyone. As saints, they had made it.

So why a meeting? What purpose was left for them, anywhere, anywhen? They were saints! No more qualifying, testing, or proving themselves. Nothing left to do.

Nothing left to do?

Was that what it was all about? This was the heavenly reward. Such anticlimax!

A question sublimated out of the consciousnesses of those in attendance.

"Yes, I'm wondering!" shouted one. "Why you called us here. Don't tell me there's something for us to do! Or consider!"

"And I'm wondering, too!" shouted another.

"Me, too! What's up? Something new? Something different?"

"Is that even possible for us? Weren't we finished? Done? Eternal rest?"

"Who wants eternal rest?" asked another.

"Hey, we earned it!" boasted another.

"Some reward!" scoffed yet another. "Eternal...rest?"

"Yea. Screw that! I wanna wake up!" bellowed one of the saints in the front. "The time for sleeping was at night when we were alive."

"Yea, 'tween eleven and six."

"What even time is it 'round here, anyway?"

"Is this just a dream?"

"All I know is if this is what it's all about, maybe I want the other place," grumbled someone.

The saint at the dais gave a wry grin. "What makes you think this isn't the other place?"

There was a heavenly hush in the audience. Quickly, he added, "Just kidding. I saw that on a Twilight Zone once. This isn't the other place. Relax! Chill out!"

"Very funny!"

"Hey, I remember funny. Remember laughing, anyone? Right out loud?"

"I don't," answered one of them. "I mean, there's a lot of smiling, but no laughing."

"Yeah, I wanna laugh."

"Yeah! I wanna guffaw."

"Chortle. Even smirking would be nice. But no, we're just here in one big smiley face of existential delight!"

"Not me. I'm in a funk."

"Ah," said the one at the dais. "Now you get it. You've woken up! Now you've made it."

Their laughter was deafening. It thundered on Earth. And God cracked his knuckles and just murmured, "About time."

And it was good.

_______________

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

For All Saints Day, Friday, November 1, Day 306 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge.

ABOUT THIS STORY:

I'm amazed at how people mature into adulthood but never mature their spirituality beyond that of grade school. Singing and harps--what a drag!

366 WORDS (without A/N)

60 DAYS TO GO! THIS JOLLIFICATION CACKLES ON, 366 YUCKS A DAY.

There are currently three good-humored Vocal writers in this 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:

• L.C. (Who's laughing now?) Schäfer

• Rachel ("Dream on, Deem on") Deeming

• Gerard (Just peed myself laughing) DiLeo