297 Mein Kampf, Part 2

Adolf Hitler (né Schicklgruber)

Führerbunker

Reich Chancellery Gardens, Mitte Borough, Berlin, Germany

Herr Hitler:

Thank you for submitting your sequel, "Mein Kampf, Part 2: This Time It's Personal."

Your book proposal cites the success of your first book, "4 ½ Jahre Kampf gegen Lüge, Dummheit und Feigheit. Eine Abrechnung" ("4 ½ Years of Struggle against Lies, Stupidity and Cowardice. A Reckoning"), which your original publisher was wise enough to shorten to "My Struggle."

But about this so-called "success..."

Before you became Chancellor, the sales you cite—frankly—were misleading. True, your first run sold out quickly, but the next edition fared poorly until it was pushed by your new publisher, the National Socialist German Workers' Party, who we have learned are just a bunch of Nazis. First runs on sensationalistic ideas generally do well from sales to the nutjobs who readily jump on your bandwagon, but despite the Dirndl for the ladies and Lederhosen for the gents, and the catchy Alpenländische Volksmusik by which you rally your enthused, we don't think anyone will be singing Danke Schoen anytime soon.

Although we liked your idea of the "Buy or Die!" rallying call for Part 2, we think that taking it, from a tongue-in-cheek self-parody of typical Goebbels' "Public Enlightenment and Propaganda," to a call-to-action is a stretch.

We seriously doubt you will be able to publicize your efforts, only sending dispatches from 30 feet underground instead of the 36-city tour (even though we liked your original proposal to start in Warsaw and wrap in Paris.)

We also feel the themes are a little radical. While we can understand—although don't agree with—your animosity toward communists, capitalists, and what you call the so-called "intellectuals," please enlighten us...Just what's the deal with the Jews?

I understand you have invited PM Neville Chamberlin to write your introduction, but he has since declined. Since we don't see you regaining power any time soon, we've little faith your work will rise again, either into some Reich thing or otherwise.

Regretfully, we just don't feel "Mein Kampf, Part 2: This Time It's Personal" is a good fit. We encourage you to submit it elsewhere, however, and wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Hyman Horowitz, Publisher

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AUTHOR'S NOTES:

For Wednesday, October 23, Day 297 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge

366 WORDS (without A/N)

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