295 Sunbathing

Kal-El, son of the late Jor-El and Lara, had been brought to visit family in Kandor. The Kents' friend, Lex Luthor, still with a head full of hair, had arranged it using his LEX'ER reducto-beam.

Luthor knew Kal-El's secret Kryptonian origin, but he had the sensibility to keep Kandor safe until a mature Kal-El could establish his Fortress of Solicitude north of Barrow, Alaska.

Lex Luthor, one of the geniuses of the time, was smart enough to know that superbrains don't get along and one day be Kal-El's bitter enemy. He didn't know how; for now, he fretted, running his fingers through his thick hair.

Unfortunately, after he returned the reconstituted tot home, it only took one whiff to know.

The humble Eschericia coli bacterium, a gram-negative coliform whose β-galactosidase produces acids and gases under the optimal growth conditions of body temperature, is a famous cause of a type of travelers' diarrhea.

Kal-El's human E. coli, as it turned out, had been replaced by the Kryptobacillus coli. And as it happens when exchanging a foreign Anything coli, driving out your friendly, neighborhood aerobic organisms, the gut—human or otherwise—squawks. (For K. coli, "squawks" was the wrong word.)

Dutifully changing Kal-El's diaper, the Kents saw it. Not just diarrhea. Not just human diarrhea. This was Kryptonian diarrhea, normally well-behaved under the influence of a red sun.

But for Sol's neighborhood—Super-diarrhea!

Had he not been diapered with a Kandor-manufactured product, the melt-down would have made a China Syndrome that actually reached China. But the miraculous Kandor-Huggies, fibers made under a red sun and now basking in the rays of one yellow, saved everyone's ass.

Except poor Kal-El's; poor Clark's.

"What are we supposed to do with this?" grumbled Jonathan, using the self-adhesive tabs to seal the soiling effectively. Martha was way ahead of him.

"Lex?" she called on the phone. "Martha here. It seems our little tyke has a souvenir from Krypton. Yes, I know it's Kandor—'

"Same thing!" Jonathan hollered.

"Can you come by?" Martha continued. "Bring your LEX-ER reducto-beam. We really should send this back."

Just garbage for Kandor, for the Earth it meant dodging the Sixth Great Extinction Event. Krypton was done, but Earth lived on.

_____________

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

For Monday, October 21, Day 295 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge

A Halloween story of existential end-of-days. 366 WORDS (without A/N)

73 DAYS TO GO! THIS CHALLENGE SMELLS ON, 366 WAFTS A DAY.

There are currently three Vocal writers, basking in the rays of a yellow sun, in this 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:

• L.C. Schäfer (Super)

• Rachel Deeming (Duper)

• Gerard DiLeo (Stupor)