Your child is not really your child

More than a hundred years ago, a Lebanese poet named Kahlil Gibran, told us the truth.

Your children are not, in fact, your children.

They are children born of life's desire for itself.

They come into the world through you, but not because of you.

They are beside you, but they do not belong to you.

What you can give them is your love, but not your thoughts, because they have their own thoughts.

Because they have their own thoughts.

That you may shelter their bodies, but not their souls.

Because their souls belong to tomorrow, to a tomorrow that you can't even dream of reaching.

You can try your best to become like them, but don't let them become like you.

For life does not go backward, nor does it linger in the past.

You are the bow, and your children are the arrows shot from you.

The archer looks at the target of the arrow on the path to the future.

He draws you away with all his strength, so that his arrows may be shot fast and far.

Bend it in the archer's hand with joy, with joy in your heart

For he loves the arrow that flies all the way, and the bow that is incomparably stable.

In the name of love, in the name of not letting the child lose at the starting line, they kill the child's vitality and devour the child's internal drive and energy, so that the child's flower of life withers day by day and finally gets bored and gives up, resulting in a tragic outburst.

As a mother of a 17-year-old depressed daughter, as a failure, with their own painful experience and blood tears, sincere appeal and cry, I hope parents learn our lessons, pay attention to children's mental health, speak well, do not go the way we did. It was hell on earth, making people suffer and indulge in boundless despair.

If you think I'm being alarmist, please take time out of your busy schedule to visit the psychiatric outpatient department of your local tertiary care hospital, where there is an endless stream of patients, many, many young to naive faces, and that's a life that is alive, a life that had unlimited possibilities. If you look it up on the Internet, depression is "easy to cause, difficult to cure, high recurrence", and the big black dog is like a shadow, very ferocious and terrible.

Obviously this is not the most terrible, frequent tragic reports of abandoned lives, so much blood is not enough to scare you?

So, your child, really not your child, treat him as a good friend, as a good girlfriend, as a buddy. Give him understanding, respect, and acceptance, not control, criticism, nagging, and coercion.

Excessive nagging is poison, excessive worrying is a curse.

And where is the right degree? Believe that knowledge is power. Learn more about psychology, pay more attention to related articles and videos, accumulate month by month, build up sand into a tower, slowly adjust your cognition, abandon the wrong parenting concepts passed from generation to generation, stabilize your emotions, and give your child scientific and wise love, unconditional love, gentle but firm love. Put on the armor of love and warmth for your child, so that he can have the strength to walk through the storm, be his true self, and realize his own value in life!