You Can't Tame A Lion

When I was married to my now ex husband, he used to jokingly say he wanted to “tame me,” to “take the wildness out of me.” I’d laugh along with him, but as we all know, in every joke there’s at least a grain of truth, and I knew what he meant. He loved many things about me, my passion, my generosity, my intelligence, but he could do without the boldness, my opinionated nature and the attention that seemed to follow me everywhere.

Born on July 27, I am a classic Leo. I never put much stock in astrology and often dismissed it as utter garbage but reading a description of the personality traits of this summer fire sign is like reading the story of my life and it’s been that way since the day I entered the world. It’s a double-edged sword, but one I’m proud to carry.

Whether I seek the limelight, or it seeks me is a matter of perspective, but it seems the spotlight follows me everywhere I go. It was there when I was born almost 50 years ago, the Multi-racial orphan babe of a sadly deceased beauty and her forbidden lover. Controversy swirled around my tiny body as the entire small town I was born in engaged in speculation, rumor and chatter about the fate of the new arrival. As years passed, I seemed to command attention wherever I went. As a small child, women would stop my father, gazing lovingly at me and my wild curly hair. They’d tell him what a beautiful child I was and then talk to me. Sometimes they’d even offer me treats or gifts. The limelight seemed pretty good.

As I got older, the attention shifted, from my “cuteness” to my mind and body. I learned very quickly that a keen intellect and strong work ethic got me the same adoration during my lanky, awkward phase as it did during my toddler cute phase. I was top of the class. I ran track and participated in gymnastics. I was pretty good, but “pretty good” is never “good enough” for the lion.

That darn Leo pride! It gets us every time! Second place is never good enough. We Leos know that the silver position is really just the first loser; we know where the attention is, it’s on the winner and we’ll work harder than anyone to make sure we’re on top. And boy, do we love the glitter of gold! I was determined, as a youngster, and even as an adult, to make sure the gold medal, the bouquet, and all the adoration went to yours truly. Only the best was good enough, I didn’t loose often, but when I did, it wasn’t a good look. Envy overtook me as I’d watch my betters bask in the glow of victory. It’s something I’ve worked on and something that’s gotten better with age.

That “biggest and best” lion mentality doesn’t only show up in the competitive arena; it’s deep within the Leo heart. When we love, we love BIG. When we give, we give BIG. I’ve only really been in love once, and true to my nature, I fell hard and fast. I was 15, he was 16. I staked my “prey” for an entire year, waiting for him to disentangle himself from his attachment at the time … then, I pounced! Once captured, he was more than the lion bargained for, but when I’m “in”, I’m “all in” and will and did go above and beyond to prove my love. It didn’t work out at the time, but almost 30 years later, we’re back together and going strong, for 7 years now. I’m still “all in” and love to pamper him and shower him with gifts, cuddles and attention. When you’re loved by a Leo, you know it!

Speaking of gifts, as I said, Leos give BIG. I am the world’s worst gift giver! Don’t get me wrong, I buy great presents, I just don’t have the patience to wait to see the look on the recipients’ faces when they open them. Making people happy warms my soul. When my kids were young, I used to give them “hints” about their Christmas presents, hints that they couldn’t help but figure out. I was also guilty of slipping them an early present or two, just because I couldn’t wait to see the joy on their sweet faces. I did the same thing this year with my now husband. I gave him his presents early because I just couldn’t bear to wait the requisite 2 weeks to give him the few things he’d been asking for for months.

But this BIG love comes at a price. We want to be loved BIG too. In fact, at our core, lions just want to be loved, adored and to feel safe. We want to nest in our pride, secure in the knowledge that we’re wanted and needed. Pet me, stroke me, shower me with attention. Tell me I’m beautiful, that I’m the queen of the jungle and treat me accordingly and you’ll have a loyal warrior by your side for life. The Leo is the original “Ride or Die,” but you have to be on the same ride. Loyalty is key and if you break that sacred trust, the lion will bite. We don’t suffer fools and we won’t tolerate disrespect. As much as we love and want to make you happy, we are not a patient lot, especially when our hearts are on the line.

We’re also not a quiet lot. I think that’s the thing that bothered my ex most, my “big mouth”. Well, let me tell you, this “big Leo mouth” has served me well. It’s been with me for most of my life. I was talking before my first birthday and arguing before the second. Yes, I am the first person to call out a rude person butting in line, and I do it loudly. If I see someone being abused or treated poorly, you can count on me to intervene. If I see a problem, I will mention it, and I’ll seek to correct it, either immediately or through official channels. Has it gotten me into trouble? Yes, many, many times. I’ve been sent to detention, reprimanded, fired, called that nasty “B word” that strong women often get called (a badge of honor for me). Am I sorry for it? Not even a little bit. You can’t keep a lion from roaring. Heck, I made a tidy career as a lawyer with that roar for many years before turning my claws elsewhere.

On a day in late July this year, I’ll have had 50 years under the fire sign that strangely enough does define me. Coincidence or science, I can’t say, but I am 100 percent Leo through and through. I am smart, beautiful, loud, and opinionated. I’m also passionate, loving, caring, generous and feel my emotions deeply. If I love you, I’ll bring you into my den and fight for you to the death. If you’re in my pride, my pride is in you and you’ll have a forever warrior that will use her last breath to see you through. If you cross me or a member of my pride, you’ll be a tasty morsel for me to devour, and I will, without a thought.

The spotlight still follows me wherever I go whether it’s Walmart or the waterfront, all eyes seem to fall on me. And you know what, I’m okay with it. Regal bearing, bold nature, I’m not sure, and it doesn’t matter. I still have a big mouth and an even bigger heart. I am the lion, and the lion is me, good, bad, and unapologetic, it all makes me uniquely me and I like me. It took a few decades to appreciate the lion in me, but here I am, loud and proud. And here’s the thing about us lions, you can’t tame us, you shouldn’t want to, we are fabulous and I have the mane to prove it.