Who Should You Talk To About Your Divorce

Choosing to get a divorce is life-changing. Because of all of the turmoil that is going on, you are going to need to find people that you can lean on. You need some family and friends who are going to be there for you, no matter what. 

That being said, it can be very hard to figure out who you need to tell and what you should say. Though you may want to shout the news to everyone, there are plenty of people who don't really want to tell anyone. 

So, how can you decide who you need to tell when it comes to your divorce? Here are some people that you need to talk to, before they hear it from others. 

Your children. If you have children, they need to hear about the divorce from you, not from others in their community. Because of this, they should be the first people that you tell. 

Unsure about how to tell your children? I recently wrote an article on it, and you can check it out here.

Your family. You also need to tell your family, before you tell others. You don't want them to find out from someone else. 

Your family is also going to be invaluable as you deal with the aftermath of your divorce as you start to move on. If you have children, you may also need a lot of help with them in the coming months, so you are going to want to make sure that your family is going to stick by you. 

Your friends. Many people feel like their friends are more like family, so you are going to want to tell them right away. You don't want them to find out from someone else. They, too, should step up and help you through this difficult time. 

Your co-workers. This one isn't always so cut and dry. You may see your co-workers more than your family, so you may be really close to some of them. Others, you may just tolerate, so you may not feel like they need to know. You may not care if they hear it from someone else! 

However, you need to tell your boss. You may need more time off in the next couple of months are you regroup and start your new life over. You may also be struggling emotionally and physically, which could affect your work performance.

So, what should you say when you are getting a divorce? Here are some things that you should consider before you start telling the world what is going on with your life. 

Take some time to process your feelings before you start telling everyone. Too many people feel like they have to tell everyone right away. However, it takes time to process what you are going through, so you don't have to rush to tell anyone. 

You also need to know what you are going to say. You shouldn't just blurt out this news. It helps to know exactly what you are going to say about the divorce. Don't say anything more. 

Remember that you don't owe them anything! All they need to know is that you are getting divorced. If you want to tell them more, you can. If you don't, you don't have to. 

You don't have to answer any questions. You are under no obligation to answer any questions. Just tell them that you aren't ready to talk about it. 

Your family and friends may have a range of emotions. You may be amazed by the reactions that you get. Some people will be angry. Others will be happy. You may also see everything in between (even some inappropriate responses). 

No matter what happens, you should never talk bad about your ex. Even if you need to vent, it is important that you keep these feelings inside. If you do end up reconciling, it can make family events uncomfortable. Even if you don't, if you have children, you are going to be spending a lot of time with your ex. This can make it awkward for both you and your ex, as well as your children.

Telling others that you are getting a divorce can be the hardest part. That being said, you need to tell your children, family, and friends right away, so they don't hear it from someone else! You can tell them whatever you want, but you can also keep it simple. "I'm getting divorced" should be enough for most people!

Previously published on Medium.