When you doubt where you came from

I remember being five years old. Seeing my parents for the first time.My mother was white-skinned with long dark brown hair. My dad was brown-skinned tall, dark and handsome. He was a Billy Dee look- alike.My eyes opened like I had been asleep. To my mom singing in the kitchen and cooking dinner while my dad walked around with a beer in his hand. They seemed happy. My birth was the first for our family. So I'm the oldest grandchild. My younger brother is four years younger than me. I took a look at my parents that day and wondered why I had blonde hair and brown eyes? My brother and I both, where am I from I thought to myself?

Both of my parents were born in the south. However,my brother and I were born in the North in New Jersey near New York state. I believe my parents did a private adoption. I believe it because, my mother had a really bad accident when she was 16. She talked about how It crushed her pelvis.

She was in a car with friends and the driver hit a country ditch. She and her friends were severely hurt. My mother's pelvis was distorted. I believe the truth is she couldn't have children. My dad was so chocolate brown, yet neither me nor my brother have any of his looks. Back then private adoption was accepted for newly weds with extenuating circumstances. I believe our real parents are out there somewhere. My mom and dad have both since past on.They are buried together and I love and cherish both of my parents always!

My mom, my pal, my friend until the end! She fought and battled cancer and lost her fight in January 2018. She gave me the will to go on and to believe that no matter what may come my way, I'm strong enough to survive anything and anyone! I don't have any photos of daddy but he's here in spirit! Love is such an amazing thing and to question my whole life is difficult. However, I know that my children have questions as well. Who we are and where we come from is always going to be a great mystery. But who'm we choose to be and who'm we love will never be lost.Thanks to my family and my will to succeed at being vocal about what might matter to my children and their children after them.

The greatest part of all is where they left off ,my own children can continue to share family secrets and to keep them is something all kids have in common. We're no different. Sharing what I believe about my family is to become vocal. I never found adoption papers. My parents never really mistreated me. At least not as a duo. My mom and I had some fierce fights. We battled about men, money, love , and hatred! She usually won, but I made some stellar points. My dad however, loved everything about me because I was his baby girl. He never made me work hard or fight hard about anything. He always said, baby your right! I knew it then and I know it now. He made sure he told me he loved me soI would not be Afraid in this world

He  was tall, dark and handsome. He had a love for music and basketball. We used to laugh because his jokes were so stupid. Like a" bar room buddy" is the best kind Because your too drunk to see what each other looks like. What did the fish say to the fisherman? How's the weather today it's mostly rainy where I am. So he gave me this silly sense of humor but we look different. What do differences matter? My parents were special to me. They made me As far as I knew. I pray that Someday I find the truth. Until then being me is pretty awesome. I have beautiful kids who remind me of who I'll always be. Me,and they'll be their kids and so on and so forth.