When My Wife Becomes My Best Friend: Redefining Marriage Through Friendship

Marriage is often described as a partnership of people coming together to share life's joys, challenges, and responsibilities. However, the essence of this union is sometimes clouded by the heavy expectations, roles, and duties that society imposes. It's pretty easy to forget that, at the bottom, a marriage needs to be based on the same common foundation that any friendship is built upon: mutual respect, trust, support, and understanding. What if my wife were my best friend rather than just my wife? How would our relationship change as well as the way we relate to each other?

The Concept of Friendship in Marriage

Friendships in marriage are luxuries-things to be thought about once all other duties of a partner, a parent, and a provider are fulfilled. What if friendship is considered integral to the marital bond?

True friendship is always equal. In a true friendship, the ideas and sayings of both individuals are valued at par. Marriages may result in a relationship where one spouse is always on the decision-making side or being the caretaker and the other may be secondary in importance or of lesser importance on some counts. If marriage is like friends then decisions would take place in reciprocal ways and opinion would be carried out at par.

Emotional openness might also be a missing aspect of friendship in marriage. Friends tend to open their hearts to one another about their deepest thoughts, struggles, and vulnerabilities. There is less fear of judgment or condemnation because friendships are generally based on acceptance. Marriage sometimes feels like a relationship burdened with the expectation of being perfect or what the world deems reasonable. She would be my friend. For then she would never look upon me again as an ideal that she must conform to, and the terror of her seeing my worst doubts and my highest ambitions and weaknesses would avail me nothing. She would know me as a human being—not a wife—broken, imperfect, yet profoundly human.

Shared experiences and interests constitute the foundation of friendships. Happiness may be expected there, also. I can envision sharing hobbies, adventures, or simple quiet moments with her. Whether it is to cook a meal together, go for a walk, or binge-watch a new show, friends enjoy each other's company without the pressure of deadlines or obligations. In marriage, life's practicalities all too often can overshadow these simple pleasures. If my wife were my friend, however, our time would be spent forming our bond over one another much like friends build their bond between each other.

Spouse vs. Friend:

The Contrast Most marriage relationships have this unwritten leadership where one individual is more predominant than the other. Friendships are usually on a more even playing field, though. If my wife is my friend, then there is no one whose opinion or feeling is overshadowed by the opinion or feeling of another. The decisions regarding our lives would both involve us equally. We would both share the roller coaster of life not because we have to but because we want to.

The difference between marriage and friendship lies in the level of expectation. Marriages typically entail expectations of role-playing. For instance, one is an emotional support and breadwinner; the more there are to act out those roles, the bigger the stability and security involved. Just might be this pressure, deepening friendship put together in mutual support and without keeping score. There is nothing expected from a friend except mutual trust and comradeship. If my wife were my friend, there would be less unsaid pressure, and we could freely speak our minds without failure or disappointment hanging over our heads.

Another place the line is drawn between marriage and friendship is in the way conflicts get resolved. Conflicts in a marriage often revolve around practical issues such as money, chores, or children. Such conflicts are more intensified because they carry weight with emotions and realities. Friendships tend to attack conflict with more of a cavalier, forgive-and-forget perspective. A lot more occurs to forgive someone and move away. Friends will argue and even manage to still laugh together the next day at each other. I guess if my wife were a good friend of mine, then perhaps we'd have more patient, humorous fights since we would be aware that our disagreement would just be one phase of our lives together, but not something threatening to the relationship.

And above all, our communication styles would differ as wife and wife friend. There could be effortless silences while conversing with the first, but for the latter, it would appear unnatural. End. There is no requirement to fill the air with words. Yet in marriage, silence feels awkward as if it meant something was amiss. But if my wife were my friend, there would be no compulsion to speak just for the sake of speaking. We would talk not because we had to, but because we wanted to share.

What's Different If My Wife Were My Friend?

If my wife were my friend, I think the whole emotional tone would change. I would laugh so much more often and have so many great times with so much silliness. Friendships are built around shared joy and shared laughter; I can just imagine how much more we could have allowed ourselves to be goofy and play if we hadn't been burdened by trying to look presentable or holding down responsibilities.

We would be better able to help each other as well. A friendship is two people feeling like they are on the same page. No burden of the day's difficulties lies on the one person's back. Rather, it's the two who bear the load between them. Both are on the same playing field in facing difficulties. If my wife were a friend, then no heavy expectations weigh on me there, only an understanding that the both of us are allies in this journey called life.

Rediscovery would also characterize our relationship as friends. After all, in friendships, discoveries about each other will continue to pour in, no matter how many years you've known each other. There's always something new to learn; there's always a new perspective on things. If my wife were my friend, I most likely rediscovered her in ways that would bring our bond deeper. We would grow not as roles toward each other but rather as two persons who enjoy one another's company.

Concrete Ways to Foster Friendship in Marriage

It's not wishing for friendship in your marriage but working. One of the ways that friendship can be developed or strengthened more is by having time for doing activities you do together. It might start with such simple activities as having a hobby, cooking dinner together, or traveling to new places and making memories. Time spent on activities you like most helps the bonding between partners.

Another one is open honest communication. Honestly, it is simple - free time, with no distractions, and no work involved, as in no phones to distract them or work that would steal attention from each other. People should make space for these conversations in order not to let the bond between them drift apart with time.

Finally, take the playful attitude. Never be afraid to laugh together, joke, and keep things light. Marriage doesn't have to be only about duties. Sometimes it is just about how much fun you can be once you begin enjoying each other.

Conclusion

The best marriages are those in which partners are both lovers and friends. Friendships in marriage bring an atmosphere of trust, equality, and support. If my wife were my friend, I think we would have a more meaningful and satisfying relationship that allows us to be ourselves while navigating the ups and downs of life together. The best love stories are those where lovers are friends first, and when that friendship is fostered, the marriage becomes an unbreakable bond.