What makes a dad

Dear Rob,

When I met you for the first time, I could see you really cared about my mom. Over time I saw how much my mom needed a friend like you, someone to show her that there are good men out there. When you moved in with us, you proved to us that men are caretakers beyond just providing money for the household. One of the things I remember most is that every morning you would boil a couple of eggs or make oatmeal for my mom and then when you found out I needed a quick breakfast before college, you would add a few extra eggs in there for me. You still do it almost every morning, so many years later.

There are many cute memories like that. One of my favorite moments is the time you finally experienced mom's 'mom' face. We were all having dinner, laughing, making fun of mom in a good way mind you. You said mom would never have a scary 'mom' face because she was too sweet, we busted out laughing for a solid minute. Near the end of the evening, we were all heading our separate way and you said something cheeky to mom, for the life of me I can't remember what it was but she whipped her head around so fast and gave you the best 'mom' look, you took a step back and said "what was that", all of us laughed so hard at your reaction, even mom. It was the first time you saw that just because she is small, she is feisty.

After years of knowing you, I came to appreciate your quiet manner. You always listen before offering advice and you never question the decisions I made. It's very different from what I experienced all my life. I come from an Eastern European household, where I was told that I need to find a husband who will take care of me, and have a couple of kids. My mom always wanted me to have an education and a good office job before settling down, she made sure I never had to rely on a man to live. She succeeded in her efforts to make me the woman I am today, even though I'm sure she would prefer that I was closer to home. Instead I wanted to travel and see the world.

I always knew I had an ally in you when it came to expressing what I wanted. I remember the first time I confided in you, I knew you wouldn't think I was being silly. I told you I wanted to go back to University and finally study something I have always wanted to study. I will forever remember what you said to me, "You have made great decisions so far, you'll make the right one now" and that's what I've always wanted to hear from a parent figure. For them to finally say to me 'I trust you to know what's a good decision for you.’

I want to thank you for being a great example to me and my brother, and for taking care of my mom. I know that she is safe and happy with you. As the oldest in my family, I always felt that taking care of everyone was my responsibility, so when you came into our lives and we got to know you, I knew that I could trust you to help me.

So thank you for your patience, love and support, and for finally giving me a good father figure. I appreciate everything you have done for our family.

I look forward to the many more years of laughter, joy and random conversation in the garden with a glass of Moldovan wine and good food.

Love, D