What children hate is not learning, but you who are dragging their feet and not knowing it.

The benefits of the child.

She shared her son's experience in junior high school:

Every morning, before going out to school, when changing shoes, kick the shoe cabinet hard.

Mother waited quietly, no comfort, no judgment, no conflict, waiting for him to relieve the pressure in this way, and then go out and go to school.

Language is pale, and the field created by silent tenderness and tolerance has unlimited power.

The other mother was very curious:

Her daughter has plenty of time from going out to school, but she always has to step on the bell to get into the school gate, and sometimes she is often late. how much speed she has to slow down, why is she doing this?

Kick the shoe cabinet--.

To make yourself feel better, this way of releasing pressure from the outside is better for the child than suppressing it inward.

Even if it seems less mature, it can easily cause anxiety among parents.

Walk slowly like a snail--.

She may be late, but she promised to come to school every day.

Outside of this rule, in 1 minute, 3 minutes, 5 minutes, she gives herself some transition, some construction, and some more time to start.

Use an imperfect way to deal with it in exchange for a psychological benefit and support yourself to take a step forward in times of hardship.

Is it possible.

There is no standard answer.

What does the mother do to really support her child, which is based on the understanding of her child.

One message:

If the child knows that we can cover for him at any time, will he lie flat?

This is a question with no standard answer.

I feel like I have a background--.

Some children breathed a sigh of relief, swung their arms and let themselves go.

After some children breathed a sigh of relief, they went light and worked harder.

Also, I feel that this is simply a negation of myself.

.

What your child will think and do is closely related to his personality traits.

Whether you say to your child, how to say it, is based on the understanding of your child.

Like the boy kicking the shoe cabinet above and the girl walking multiple times, they can live in any family.

The same behavior, and the resulting family interaction, will shape him as a person, to a large extent, depends on the way we get along with our children--.

Some children relieve the pressure, while others strengthen their self-understanding.

Some children are tired of learning, some children are depressed, and some children never recover.

Performance = ability-interference.

There is a joke:

It's not learning that kids hate, it's you.

There is also a heart-piercing sentence:

The mother hindered the child's progress.

My HR director friend said to me:

Performance = ability-interference.

Assuming that capabilities are relatively constant, what you need to do to increase performance is to reduce interference.

In my countless communications with countless parents, the strong feeling is:

Thinking that he is providing help to the child, in fact, it is holding the child back.

Parents' self-awareness stems from their understanding of themselves and the role of parents.

Therefore, if you do it, you often go in the opposite direction, so you might as well not do it at all.

The harvest of an evaluation.

The understanding of oneself is also a great support for children.

At the very least, it is a way to reduce interference.

Do you know what your parenting style is?

If you were asked to summarize it in three keywords, which three would you use?

If a miniature camera records your daily interaction with your child, you may see a very strange self: I didn't mean it that way. It wasn't my original intention.

If you understand your parenting style, respect it, optimize it, and form a relatively stable state, your child may also become different.

Out of curiosity about my parenting style, I made a test, which was developed by eight authoritative psychologists, and I got an evaluation report on parenting style.

Evaluation of parent-Child Education style.

This is the score I gave my child on the two dimensions of "emotional support" and "democracy and equality". Do a good job and keep it.

(screenshot of my evaluation report).

I thought I was not demanding of my children, but the data in the report gave me some new thinking, which was a good wake-up call for me.

(screenshot of my evaluation report).

From the report of the test output, I have learned a lot from the three points:

1. Verify some judgments about yourself, and be more firm when you encounter parenting contradictions.

2. Some parts that have been ignored by me give me a great warning and are a good supplement to my optimized upbringing.

3. I have a better understanding of children's behavior, and I can find the shadow of deja vu in me.

I know that these behaviors or beliefs are shaped by children in the process of getting along with me and my family day and night.

If there is anything that needs to be changed, the first thing is to change the way you interact with him.

The only bug in the assessment was that the final age selection did not cover the entire age group, and I chose the largest number (forgetting exactly how old it was).

Do you know what kind of parents you are.

When you are anxious about parenting, what else do you do besides anxiety?

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