Wednesday

I had tons of macaroni salad and fried chicken left over, but I didn’t want to serve that. I wanted tonight to be special, our first date night since… So I am serving your favorites: short ribs and mashed potatoes with sauce—I mean gravy. You were always a meat and potatoes man. Thank you for humoring me by eating the brussel sprouts.

I opened a bottle of Merlot, the one you bought for our anniversary. It seemed a shame to let it go to waste. Um, you would like this one. Not a lot of tannins, smooth, nice. It complements the short ribs perfectly.

Today was nice, except for the Masons closing and opening your casket, driving me crazy. They should have done their ceremony before the undertaker opened your casket or at the end when they closed it. That was a lot for me. I am trying not to be sad, not tonight. I will cry tomorrow. But tonight, I want to talk and laugh.

And let’s start with that unkempt woman at your funeral. She walked up to the casket, crying a little too hard. And I was like, who is this woman? Also, thinking who she’d better not be. After the funeral, Junior spoke to her, and she told him that you two went to college together. And how she is homeless more often than not, and every time you would see her, you would never judge her, that you would always show her respect, and that you would also give her a few dollars. I never knew that. I never knew her.

Do you know who I did see? John. I wanted to go up to him and say, “Where is my husband’s $1,000?” The nerve of him showing up at your funeral. You were such a generous man, even when you shouldn’t have been.

As you can see, your service was quite eventful, and your son—he preached you into heaven. And when your daughter sang “His Eye Is on the Sparrow,” it comforted my soul. We celebrated you today, baby.

I miss you so much. I sleep more, hoping you will visit me in my dreams. I did get your "love letter" when I went to the backyard to pick some oregano and thyme. I looked over at the rose bush, and it had bloomed. One pink rose. That bush has not bloomed in more than 35 years. Every year I would say cut it down, and you would say no. Let’s just enjoy what it is now, and maybe one day, it will bloom. I know that rose was from you. Thank you.

The children wanted to come by. They probably would have thought that I have lost my ever-loving mind if they saw the table set for two. I told them to go home. That I will be alright. But I don't know if I am going to be alright.

Do you remember our first date night? It was after Junior was born, you promised me that we would never get too busy for us, that every Wednesday night would be our date night. Sometimes it was us going out. Sometimes it happened after we put the children to bed. Sometimes it took place on the phone because we were in different places. But you always made sure that it happened. I don’t want to give that up. I don’t want to give up date night.

Next time we’ll have dessert—lemon meringue pie. I'm not sure if I can whip that meringue as high as you, but I will try my best. I love you, Donny. See you Wednesday.