We Even Look the Same

Hero, that word can mean a lot of different things through the lenses of different people. We all have a hero in our life whether we realize it or not. The known hero or the unspoken hero but none-the-less, hero. My everyday hero is a woman who gets up and goes to work every morning. She drives an average car and lives a modest life, but in my eyes, she saved my life long before I knew what that could possibly mean.

Most children are born into this world with a mother and father. I was no different. At one time the divorce rate in the United States was hovering at or near 50% and I was in that percentage. My mother and father divorced when I was 6. My mom went off with her boyfriend and my dad had to move back to his hometown to pick up the pieces of his life.

Many people would suspect I hold a lot of anger and blame, however, I don’t blame my mom she has selfish tendencies, and I don’t blame my dad, he was heartbroken and torn into two. Losing my mom was one thing but losing the ability to see me every day was the nail in the coffin for him. He lost 50lbs and became a chain smoker, so I am told.

There I was a 6-year-old who had her life turned upside down with no idea of what was going on. To this day some 26 years later, my fondest memories are the times I lived my Nan. The next 7 years after the divorce I went to school, lived my grandmother (Nan) and sat at her table learning how to spell, do math equations and watching General Hospital. Now as much as my Nan was there for me the true hero to my story will always be Tina.

Aunt Tina as I have called her since I could talk took on a responsibility most people would shy away from. Tina was my mother’s best friend growing up and was a part of my life from the day I came screaming into this world in the delivery room. Her and my mom had been friends since they lived next to each other as children. My mom used her house as an escape to her own, but thats a different story for a different time.

Looking back I cannot think of a time in my life that didn’t involve her. Aunt Tina and my Uncle Glenn could never have children even though they tried. I stepped into that role as they stepped into being the parents that were torn, broken, and unavailable to raise a child.

Over the course of the next 16 years of my life she never missed a beat being the mother I needed and at times the authority figure to a normal teenager. I played softball for 8 years. She drove me to every practice and every game, she never missed one. In middle school she never missed a chorus concert, a play, or anything that needed a parent. In high school I played tennis and she never missed a match. In my junior year of high school after trying to live with my mom and her boyfriend for some time, I had, had enough and there she was, open arms as always.

For every tear I ever cried it was caught by her hugs and soft words of reassurance. For every misstep there was guidance and for heartbreak, which usually came from my mother there she was standing next to me, telling me it will be ok. She pushed me to always do my best and understand that failure is a part of life. As I grew up, we stayed just as close and never lost the connection we had to each other.

Now being a 32-year-old professional and understanding life a lot more than I did when I was 6, I can honestly say she saved my life in so many ways. I got to see a functioning loving relationship between a couple. I was shown unconditional love and support and told that no dream was ever too big. I was given the ability to see the good in people even if they continue to let you down. Most of all I was shown what a mother and daughter relationship was supposed to look like.

Looking back at how everything unfolded with my mother and father divorcing and leaving me as something stuck in the middle, I could have gone down a very different path in my life but here I am thriving. I owe so much of myself to her.

I will leave you with this thought. A hero is “a person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities”.

My aunt will forever be admired by me for the courage to step up and be a parent when she didn’t have to be. For raising a woman who is strong, independent and level-headed. For always being the light even on my darkest days, and my number one supporter. For pushing me to always be the best person I could be and exceed everyone’s expectations.

Most of all my Aunt Tina will forever and always be my hero for the endless love she selflessly gave me and continues to give me today .

Love Always