Walking Home

Chapter 1: A New Beginning

It was a cold morning in 2012 when I made the decision to leave. My son, barely three years old, had no idea that his life, and mine, was about to change forever. For years, I had endured the torment of an abusive relationship—physically, emotionally, mentally. I had tried to convince myself that it was all normal, that the love was supposed to hurt. But one day, something inside me snapped. I could no longer accept it. I couldn’t stay in a toxic environment where I had no voice, no sense of self, no future. It was time to walk away.

I picked up my son and held him close as we boarded a bus to my mother’s house in Bataan. The long ride was filled with uncertainty, but I knew I couldn’t stay where I was any longer. The emotional scars of the past years were fresh, but there was something even stronger—a desire for a new life, a chance for a better future for my son.

My brother, who was living in Manila at the time, did not know about my decision to leave right away. It was only after some time that he found out what had happened. When he did, he reached out and offered to help me. He suggested that I go to Manila, apply for work in a BPO company, and stay there so I could provide for myself and my son. It was the kind of opportunity I hadn’t imagined, but it felt like a lifeline. I had no idea how I would manage it all, but I knew it was my only shot at a fresh start.

Chapter 2: Starting Over

Starting over wasn’t easy. After leaving my abusive relationship, I had no idea what I was doing. I had a small amount of money saved up, but it wasn’t enough to start a new life. I felt lost, but determined. I had to find a way to stand on my own two feet, not just for me, but for my son. He depended on me.

When my brother suggested that I move to Manila, I was unsure. But I knew I had no choice but to try. It was a huge step, and it meant I would have to leave my son behind in Bataan for the time being. The idea of being away from him again felt unbearable, but the promise of a stable job and a better future was something I couldn’t ignore.

I applied for work in the BPO industry, with little experience, and somehow, I got hired. I wasn’t confident in my skills, but I knew I had to make it work. I moved to Manila, and even though I missed my son terribly, I believed that this was the right decision. I was doing this for us, even if it meant being apart.

Chapter 3: The Bond That Endured

No matter how hard it got, I never gave up on my son. Despite the long hours at work and emotional exhaustion, I always tried to make sure he knew he was loved. He wasn’t just my responsibility—he was my everything. And though the distance between us grew, the bond we shared never wavered.

I remember the days when I would get off the bus from Manila, exhausted, and there he was—waiting at the gate. His little face would light up when he saw me, and in that instant, all the exhaustion would melt away. It reminded me that despite all the sacrifices, he never felt neglected. He waited for me, always.

There was one time, though, that I felt a pang of sadness I couldn’t shake. His teacher called to tell me about a program at school where the class was supposed to perform a dance. My son, however, didn’t want to join because he thought the dance was too hard. As someone who used to be a dancer myself, it hurt that I couldn’t be there to help him, to share my passion for dancing with him. I wished I could’ve been there to teach him, to show him that he could do it. But I had to trust that he would find his own way.

Thankfully, my son was resilient. He made it through his challenges and started earning honors in school. I might not have been there for every moment, but I was there when it counted. I always made sure he knew how much I believed in him. He became my reason to keep pushing forward.

Chapter 4: A Shift in Time

The pandemic changed everything. For the first time in years, I found myself working from home, able to be with my son all day, every day. It was a shift I hadn’t expected but welcomed with open arms. I could finally see my son’s growth, not just academically, but emotionally. I could be there for him in ways I had missed before.

We used the time wisely. We worked on his assignments together, helped him with projects, and took breaks to talk about everything—his day, his dreams, and even his fears. I saw the boy I had missed growing into a young man. And I was right there with him, every step of the way. We both thrived in this new environment. My son became the number 1 student in his grade, and I couldn’t have been more proud.

For once, I didn’t feel the weight of guilt hanging over me. I was right where I needed to be, and I was making the most of every moment. There was no rush, no feeling that time was slipping away from me. It felt like I had found balance, like everything had come together in a way that felt right.

But the greatest lesson I learned during this time was how much I had missed. Time was precious, and the small moments with my son were the ones that mattered the most. I had spent years chasing work, chasing success, but now I understood that the greatest success was the happiness I found with him.

Chapter 5: Reflections on the Past

Looking back, I have so many mixed emotions. I regret the time I lost, the moments I wasn’t there for my son. I can never get those years back, but I’ve come to realize that regret doesn’t serve me. I did the best I could with the circumstances I had.

The truth is, life doesn’t always go as planned. We don’t always get the time we want, and sometimes, we have to make hard choices. But those choices don’t define us. What matters is how we rise from the challenges, how we continue to move forward.

I may not have been there for every school event or every dance recital, but I was there for the important moments. I was there when he needed help with his homework, when he needed someone to talk to, when he needed love and support. And in the end, that’s what mattered most.


Chapter 6: The Future Together

Now, my son is in high school. He’s growing up, becoming his own person. It’s bittersweet to watch him spread his wings, but I’m proud of the young man he’s becoming. We’ve been through so much together, and no matter what the future holds, I know we’ll face it together.

The past few years have been a reminder of what truly matters: love, connection, and the moments we share. I’ve learned that life is unpredictable, but as long as we have each other, we can handle anything. I’m no longer chasing some distant idea of success. My success is in the small victories, the quiet moments, the bond I have with my son.

We’re doing it together. And that’s enough.

Chapter 7: Taking the Leap of Faith

It was a tough decision, but I knew it was the right one for me and my son. The pandemic had changed everything. As much as I loved my job and the income it provided, the thought of returning to Manila after the lockdown ended filled me with dread. The daily commute, the grueling traffic, the long hours away from home – I couldn’t imagine doing it again.

I had already given up my apartment. There was no way I was going back to that lifestyle. As the company made plans to reopen, I found myself facing a crossroads. I had to decide whether to continue with a life I had grown tired of or take the leap and pursue something different.

So, I resigned.

It wasn’t an easy decision. I had always prided myself on being independent, being able to support my family. But at that moment, I realized that what I needed more than anything was time – time with my son, time to breathe, time to live. I wanted to experience life in a way that didn’t leave me drained and disconnected from what truly mattered.

I began to explore freelance work. I tried everything I could think of, from online jobs to project-based gigs. The income wasn’t as much as I used to make, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was that I was home, I was present, and I was with my son.

This was a sacrifice I was willing to make. No amount of money could replace the moments I shared with him, the memories we were building together. I knew that no matter what the future held, I was making the most of every second I had with him.

We may not have the security of a steady paycheck, but I have something more valuable: peace of mind. I’m here, I’m present, and I’m living a life that makes me happy. And in the end, that’s all that matters.