Understanding & Managing Tantrums

Tantrums and meltdowns in children can arise from various sources, including fear, frustration, anger, or even sensory overload. They often occur because children lack the communication skills to express their needs or feelings effectively. As a result, they may experience emotional “outbursts,” which can inadvertently become a learned behavior if they successfully gain attention or avoid undesirable situations. The key to addressing tantrums is to help children learn more constructive ways to handle challenges and giving them the proper words to communicate their needs.

Conducting a "functional assessment" can help identify the triggers of a child's tantrums by examining the situations that precede, coincide with, or follow the outbursts. This assessment can reveal underlying issues such as social anxiety, ADHD, or learning disorders. Understanding these triggers allows parents and caregivers to anticipate and modify environments to reduce the likelihood of tantrums. For instance, if transitioning to homework time is challenging, parents might break tasks into smaller parts or offer frequent breaks to make the activity more manageable. If transitions can be triggering for a toddler, a parent might offer different ways to transition from one activity to another (should we stomp to our shoes, or tip toe?). It's also crucial to ensure that expectations are developmentally appropriate, yet remain fostering of an environment conducive to growth and maturity.

When tantrums occur, the response of parents and caregivers plays a critical role in shaping future behavior. Consistent, calm responses paired with emotional co-regulation while reinforcing positive behaviors are essential. Techniques such as Parent-Child Interaction Therapy and Parent Management Training emphasize ignoring non-dangerous outbursts and positively reinforcing calm and compliant behaviors. Tantrums that turn violent, with harm either being inflicted on themselves or those around them, may need professional attention or advice. Modeling calm behavior and clear communication can further support children in developing self-soothing strategies and problem-solving skills, ultimately reducing the frequency and intensity of tantrums over time.

Highlights

• Triggers of Tantrums: Fear, frustration, anger, and sensory overload can lead to tantrums.
• Communication Breakdown: Tantrums often occur when children can't express needs effectively.
• Learned Behavior: Tantrums can become a conditioned response if they achieve desired outcomes.
• Functional Assessment: Identifies triggers and patterns in tantrum behavior.
• Potential Underlying Issues: Tantrums can signal distress from anxiety, ADHD, or learning disorders.
• Environmental Modification: Adjusting triggers and expectations can reduce tantrum occurrences.
• Consistent Responses: Address tantrums in a calm manner, demonstrate self-regulation skills and assist through co-regulation, when applicable, reinforce positive behaviors.
• Modeling Behavior: Calm, clear communication aids in teaching self-help and problem- solving skills.
• Self-Soothing Techniques: Encourage breathing exercises and other calming strategies.
• Positive Reinforcement: Reward progress when age appropriate (you remembered to take deep breaths and ask for help, great job!) and appropriate responses to frustration (you seem to be feeling frustrated, here’s what we can do when we feel frustrated...)

Key Takeaways for Parents/Educators

1. Identify Triggers: Conduct functional assessments to understand and address tantrum triggers.
2. Consistent Responses: Use positive reinforcement and ignore non-dangerous outbursts to discourage tantrums while also allowing a child to release their feelings
3. Model Calm Behavior: Demonstrate emotional regulation and self-soothing strategies to support children's emotional growth.

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a bit about me...

I'm Anne Reboa, the founder of Paranneting! I am Master of Social Work and my coursework was heavily concentrated on children and family practice and theory, child and human development and person-in-environment approach. Further, I’m well- versed in early childhood education and clinical therapeutic practices. While in pursuit of licensure, I am hoping to become an online resource center for parents, caregivers in any capacity, and educators wanting the best for the little ones in their care.

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