Unconditional

I was born, my mother's first child, her first daughter. A child she most likely had dreamt of a life for. A white wedding dress, a beautiful young woman becoming a mother herself. However, what she ended up with was a son. Twenty-one years of raising and shaping a young woman, torn to shreds in an instant. All her dreams she had for me were erased. The name tattooed on her arm next to my sisters', irrelevant in one sentence. "I want to be a man."

Some mothers, I've heard, have gone into hysterics. They've shunned their new son into a world that wouldn't greet him. They mourn the loss of their daughter who never truly existed, instead of celebrating their child's happiness.

My mother was unwavering. There was never a single moment that I thought she had stopped loving me or stopped caring. I never feared losing her. I never feared not having her support.

She went on to be one of my biggest supporters, to become an advocate for the transgender community, to fight for all of my brothers and sisters, not just for the one she had raised.

My mother became a mother to all of them.

Over the years, she has taught me too many lessons to name in a single piece of writing, but above all else, she has taught me acceptance, compassion, kindness, and perseverance.

My mother works within a company that values diversity and acceptance of all walks of life, and I don't think they could have found someone more fitting for their institution. When others turn their backs and mutter to themselves about a person on the sidewalk or sitting on the bus, she's the one who will sit next to them and talk to them. She goes out of her way to help people and do everything she can to let them know that they matter and they aren't alone. She sees the good in everyone.

She has taught me to help if I can. To make people smile, to make them laugh. To understand that everyone is struggling in some way, and that smile you gave them might be the only one they get that day. It'll be a moment you probably forget about, but it could be something that saves their life. Compliment people, say hello, smile, tell a joke, just be friendly. It takes no extra time and it makes someone else's day that much brighter. I feel like if more people thought and acted like my mother, the world would shine like the sun.

My mother's shining personality and infectious laughter is made all the more beautiful knowing where she came from. Her life wasn't always a happy one. She's met and faced enough demons to last a lifetime and she's made her fair share of mistakes, but she's always learned from them. So, when one of her children makes a mistake or is fighting a demon of their own, she's always right there with them. She's never been one to get us out of the pit, but she always guides us. She knows she can't save us from everything, but she's given us the tools to dig ourselves out.

No matter what we've ever done, we've always known that she would be there on the other side. No mistakes we could ever make could make her love us any less than she ever has. A mother's love is said to be unconditional, but not all mom's can live up to that. I'm grateful to be one of the few who can say they her love truly is unwavering. Unconditional. Infinite.