Traditional Relationships

Many conversations are being had about what it means to be a "traditional woman" or man. This word gets thrown around like kids playing a game of keep-away but from where I'm standing everyone keeps losing. What does it mean to be "traditional" and which tradition are you referring to? In the dating market of 2023, so many men claim to want a traditional woman, one who cooks, cleans, raises children, and maintains herself to an almost impossible standard.

If we’re talking about 50’s American traditions then it was on the man to work to give his family the most comfortable life, and the moto used would always be “ happy wife, happy life”, most of the dating was done in high school because the working life of an adult would be too busy for a person to juggle dating as well. The difference between then and now is the misinformation of who truly had the options. In the 50’s it was the young girls, going out with multiple guys was normal because you needed to get to know all the options before “going steady” which meant that they were dating exclusively for the purpose of getting married when they came of age. Compare that to the ideals of people today who claim to want a traditional relationship, there are a few missing parts that made this a semi-formal formula.

Men who ask for this dating style, also seem to have an issue with women wanting someone who can provide a comfortable lifestyle. Some women say, "If you want a traditional woman, you must provide modern funding." With inflation, the dwindling stock market, and real estate being harder to handle for most, it's understandable to want someone who can still provide comfort. There's too much to lose by betting on someone with shallow pockets and if children are being brought into the picture there are lives at stake, as well. It's not unreasonable to want someone to come home to, but it is when your home is falling apart and you don't have 2 pennies to rub together. It's simple, if you're not good with money then a budget is the only thing you should want in your life at this time. To the women asking for a lavish lifestyle in exchange for this "traditionalism" stop trying to make that happen with men you're already struggling to convince, that having new shoes and an iPhone over paying rent is a bad investment. History has already shown that women have a silent upper hand, so don’t give yourselves away so easily. If you want a traditional man then maybe it’d be best to keep your clothes on until you’ve said “I do”.

This advice isn’t attached to religious beliefs but you must think about the tactics used to get you to lower your standards and to get the one thing men are told they need to be considered a man. If you hold what they want then you can weed out the ones who have ulterior motives. Take the time to get to know a person before you participate in something that can only knock off your PH balance. Now, if you only want to have physical relations then let it be known from the start and if you’re looking for a long-term and even lasting relationship then see how much you get along with your clothes on. They let you know what type of person they are with the way they behave but you have to take your time to see it. No matter what you say, you cannot change someone who isn't willing to change on their own. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO MAKE SOMEONE BETTER! That is everyone’s own responsibility.

There are so many tactics used to get people to lower their standards and one of them is fear. People use fear to convince people that their needs are somehow too high-maintenance. By using the fear of "dying alone", it’s easy to make you think that you’re asking for too much, and to that, I say, why is that something to fear? Why must we build relationships off the backs of fear-mongering? Why? Always remember, if you're in a relationship to avoid being alone, then it's not a relationship. It's a cry for help. It’s a deep need for a support system you either didn't have or are trying to recreate. You must resist! This isn't healthy, for you or the other person.

Be yourself and if there are no takers then maybe you’re just in the wrong environment. You can’t buy a brand-new Tesla in a used car auction. Make sure that you want someone with a personality that is appealing to you and make sure you have a personality that isn’t simply “looking good” or “having money” If you’re truly looking for tradition then make sure it can still be done in a modern frame, no matter how much we want to turn back time we can’t and dating has to change with the times. We can’t all have a spouse who makes 6 figures or more, and we can’t all have a spouse who stays home to act like a maid who doesn’t get paid. There needs to be a compromise if you can’t meet those traditional standards.