Tour de Parfum

“Wow," I moan, “I’m not feeling so great." "I feel like I have the worst hangover ever.” I pull myself up and adjust the reclining position in my seat so I’m sitting up straight. I rub my temples, hoping to feel some relief from the pounding headache ripping through me. As my blurry eyes adjust, I turn to see a bearded gentleman watching me. “Welcome back,"he says, “You had me worried!” “I’ve been monitoring your chest movements for the last few hours to make sure you were still breathing.” “I’m glad there was no need for me to use my rusty CPR techniques.” “You may not have fared so well.” “I’m a little embarrassed.” I whisper.” “Should I know you?” He smiles and answers, “No, not really.” “Last evening when I chose the seat next to you, I was being anti-social”. “You were sleeping so soundly.” “ I figured you wouldn’t be one of those annoying passengers that would talk my ear off.“ “So, I locked up my luggage and plopped myself down.” “But when I woke up and you were still passed out, I started to worry." “You still don’t look so great if I must say so!” “Are you feeling alright?" I respond weakly. “My head feels like it weighs 200 pounds and I’m a bit queasy.” “Not to mention, I don’t even have the faintest idea how I ended up here on this…. train is it?” “Seems the last thing I remember, I was in my boss’s office and he was shaking my hand.” “ He was congratulating me on my promotion.” “How’s that for a mind boggler?” He laughs. “Hmm, I have to agree with you.” “That is a very distressing situation.” “ Unfortunately, I believe I can top it.” “I’ve noticed that in the last few hours, as I was sweating it out wondering if you were ever going to wake up, our train has not stopped at one of it’s designated stops.” “Passengers are becoming irate and there is not a crew member in sight.” “The entire staff seem to have disappeared and our train has run amuck.” “Oh, yeah, and our phones have no service.” “So we are unable to contact anyone to find out what is going on.” “Now that, my friend is a mind boggler!” I yell at him. “You’re kidding me!” “I finally get my big break and I’m stuck on a disappearing train!” “Unbelievable!” “So, what do we do now?” He says, “Maybe some investigating is in order.” He stands up and introduces himself. “I’m Chuck by the way.” “I just recently retired from the Post Office.” “This trip is my wife’s lovely idea.” “She purchased a surprise ticket for me to my favorite guitar center in Indiana.” “It’s a great idea, but I think her motive was to get some alone time.” “We’re still getting used to the retirement routine." As I laugh, I reply, “I’m Evan.” “The newly appointed CEO of “Brilliant Blends", the best distillers of essential oil fragrances in the USA.” “Impressive, huh?” “But I guess it doesn’t do me any good right now, does it?” “So, I’m all ears if you want to include me in on your “investigation plan.” Chuck is a big dude so he suggests that he be the one to head to the front of the train. He will try to find out who is in charge. He tells me to start asking the passengers if they have any idea of what is going on. He takes off and begins to stagger his way through each railcar in order to reach the operator of the train. When he arrives, he realizes the door is bolted shut. Peeking through the window, he sees what appears to be the engineer, the conductor and various crew members bound together. They are being held captive. The man who seems to be in charge has his back to the window. It is impossible to identify who he is. Slipping away quietly so he does not become the next hostage, Chuck fumbles his way back through the cars. With that he realizes that whoever is in control at the moment has no plans of aborting their mission any time soon. He fears we are all in real danger. Peeking through the window, he sees what appears to be the engineer, the conductor and various crew members bound together. They are being held captive. The man who seems to be in charge has his back to the window. It is impossible to identify who he is. Slipping away quietly so he does not become the next hostage, Chuck fumbles his way back through the cars. With that he realizes that whoever is in control at the moment has no plans of aborting their mission any time soon. He fears we are all in real danger.

He rushes back to deliver his best account of what is happening up front. Meanwhile, my investigation with my fellow travelers is well underway. I’m sorting through the barrage of answers to my inquiries. The Barret’s, a family of four, are traveling to Chicago to introduce Veronica their baby girl to her Grandmother. Diane and Ray Sullivan have always wanted to see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Ohio. And Patty Mitchell just polished up her cowboy boots heading for Nashville. All seemingly legitimate reasons for signing up for this trek. My intention is to find out as much information as possible while keeping everyone calm. But, despite my best efforts, I am unable to keep the passengers content. They quickly turn frightened and paranoid . Sandy Hoffman thinks she could be a potential victim of this abduction due to the fact that she is expected to be a witness in a hearing next week. Everyone laughs when she explains. It seems her neighbor doesn’t understand where his dog’s excrement belongs. It mostly ends up everywhere else but in his own backyard. Charges were filed and their community wants to know who the culprit it. They’re not very fond of dogs to begin with. She has the unpleasant task of ratting him out at the hearing. He could be trying to stop her from testifying! Then we have Stephanie who is sure her husband is having an affair with his coworker. She has a long overdue discussion planned with him when she returns from Kentucky. She wonders, “Wouldn’t this be the way to take me out of the picture?” Then there is Josh who is thinking that his brothers and sisters have put together a scheme to prevent him from obtaining his portion of their mom’s hefty Will. He thinks, “I am the oldest and knocking me off leaves a lot more money to go around for the rest of my siblings." While the passengers obsess over their unsubstantiated fears, Mrs. Worthington is fretting because she has a load of cash in her luggage. “She whispers to her side kick Pom Pom, “Do you think someone knows about our windfall at the casino?” Her feisty Pomeranian pup, acknowledgingly wags his tail and looks up at her with adoration. “Why, let’s just keep this between the two us for now.” She says. “Woof Woof replies the pampered pet and she sits obediently for her treat. “You know, you could keep that dog quiet!”, snaps Mrs. Ferguson. “Who said dogs were allowed on this train anyway?” Inquires Dr. Bowman. “Isn’t this a “passenger” train and not a cattle car.” He scoffs and scans the crowd to see if they are as amused with him as he is with himself for the rude comment. Truly insulted, Mrs. Worthington huffs and marches back to her sleeper car with her loyal companion.

At this point, Chuck decides to scramble his way over to the dining car to serve up some coffee. He hopes this will pacify the ornery travelers if only briefly. Maybe, if they all put their heads together, they can get a handle on this. He returns with two trays of warm coffee. While they sip and sway, the train flies by three more scheduled stops. “What is the purpose of this hijack?” “What are they trying to accomplish?” “What happens to this train without an engineer?” Many questions are thrown about. Im so worried and I think, “I need to call my wife and talk to my kids”. “I’m sure they are wondering why I haven’t contacted them in so long.” Reading his thoughts, Chuck sighs, “I miss my wife too.” “We haven’t had a separate vacation since we were married 40 years ago!” “She was expecting to hear from me hours ago!" “Let’s find a way to get ourselves off of this torpedo!” “Maybe if we sneak back up to the engine room we can find out who has actually taken control of the train.”

As discreetly as possible, they stumble up back through the cars. Chuck can see the door is still bolted, so he looks in through the window. It's the same situation, everyone bound together. The mysterious head honcho still at the helm. Chuck is about to bang on the glass when Evan gasps, “That’s my boss, Mr. Englehart!” “What?” says Chuck, totally confused” “What in the hell is he doing here?” “Yes, I’m sure that's him.” I stammer. "He’s the one that just shook my hand and patted me on the back yesterday!” “I’m supposed to be meeting him in Michigan on Friday.” “Chuck ducks down and whispers, “Is there something you’re not telling me Evan?” I scratch my pounding head and sit down and think. “ Matt, my boss, was the last person I remember seeing before I passed out and woke up on this train.” “But what motive could he possibly have for kidnapping me this way?” And just before I realize what his motive might be, the door swings open with a loud thud and there he is. He knocks Chuck right on his ass. “Oops sorry about that.” He laughs. “Well hello Evan my friend, you are just the man I want to see!” “Let’s have a chat.” With that he pulls me into the car full of huddled employees and pushes me up against the wall. “I want your files for the new scent line?” “What?” “Are you serious right now?” I ask. “Absolutely serious”, he replies. “ “That “Summer in Italy” series of extractions you combined are going to be worth millions!” “I’ve already contacted one of our competitors.” “He’s offered me a pretty penny for those recipes!” “ And since I made sure only the two of us know who is responsible for formulating them, I’m taking the credit.” “That ludicrous bonus they keep handing me just isn’t going to cut it this time.” “I’m taking the cash and vanishing.” “ He pulls up his t-shirt and exposes a Glock handgun pressed into his jeans. “Now go get your laptop!” “These folks here aren’t going to stay put much longer.” “ As he kicks Chuck to move him out of the way, he says, “I’ll just wait right here, and if you’re not back in 10 minutes, laptop and instructions in hand, a lot of people are going to suffer!” He heads back into the engine car and shuts the door. My hands are trembling and I can’t think straight. I shake Chuck a few times to wake him up from his collision with the train door and I head back for my laptop. On the way, I fill him in on all of the unbelievable details. I tell him my so called business meeting in Michigan was just a ruse to get me here on this train so my boss had the opportunity to steal my work. He mumbles, “Evan, you know he won't let us all go after you give him the information?” “We are all witnesses and we can send him to jail.” “We’ve got to do something!” I respond, “Well, we’ve got 10 whole minutes.” “I think we should consult with our fellow commuters on this.”

We hurry back to the rest of the travelors, their faces full of panic and concern. The Fergusons offer to assist with whatever plan we devise. “We won’t be sitting ducks for some madman!”, they explain. They have a big family reunion in Iowa and come "hell or high water" they are gonna be there! One by one the others join in to add their support and ideas to take back their train. Evan tries to get control of everyone as the ideas fumble out. Sandy has pepper spray they can use. Mr. Fox can borrow his son Paul’s baseball bat. “He won’t be getting any autographs at spring training if we don’t get off of this train!” He says. The culmination of ideas are helpful but a little overwhelming for Evan and Chuck and time is running out. “Bang”, a shot is fired and everyone ducks and screams. “ Your 10 minutes have expired!” Yells Matt. “ He points his weapon directly at Evan and says, “Time to get serious!” “I want that computer!” Along with the others, Mrs. Worthington is taking all of this insanity in . She’s frightened and her furry companion can senses it. Pom Pom knows this intruder is the one responsible for causing all of this angst. She growls and jumps off of her lap, and heads straight for Matt. “AHHHH,” Matt screams as he falls to the ground holding his leg. Chuck grabs the gun and holds it to Matt’s head. “Stay put!” He screams. “I’ll hold him here while somebody unties our crew up front and calls for help.” Evan races back to the control car. He unties knots, cuts some bolts and sets them free. He explains to the conductor what has happened and the conductor quickly radios for help. He directs his engineer to engage the air brakes and stop the train as quickly as possible. He also directs his trainmen to have the police waiting at the next station.

The passengers gather all of their belongings and disembark from the train. Their families are all gathered at the station, anxiously awaiting their safe arrival. Chuck and Evan are already with the police who have Matt in their custody. The Barrets have spotted "Grammy." Josh rushes over to his hug brothers and sisters! And Stephanie's husband hands her a bouqet of daisies, her favorite flowers! Meanwhile, Mrs. Worthington has finally located her husband after eyeing the congregation for what feels like forever. Pom Pom is panting happily and so glad to finally be getting off of the train. Suddenly, amid all of the chaos comes a loud announcement over the intercom. “Let’s give a round of applause for our hero, Pom Pom!” “She saved our lives.” The service attendant making the announcement steps out and gives the puppy a loving scratch on her head. As the crowd hoots and hollers their approval, Mrs. Ferguson and Dr. Bowman both give her their apologetic wink!