Touchy Topics Not to Talk About at Family Gatherings

It is good for families to get together at special times of the year to see one another and to celebrate the occasion. It is customary for families to be in one central location on holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, and funerals. When large groups of relatives get together, some tend to say things that are not pleasing to others.

Some members of the family look forward to getting together, while others dread those occasions because of touchy subjects that someone is bound to bring up.

Relationship experts and even people with common sense agree that people should be mindful of what they say. Touchy subjects should be avoided at all costs.

Religion and Politics

Two major touchy subjects should be avoided during family gatherings: religion and politics.

I know a family of four brothers who are members of the clergy in different denominations. Their parents warned them not to have any debates around the table about which denomination is better.

Politics is another touchy subject that should be avoided. Nothing political can be settled during family gatherings. If Congress and government officials can't agree on political issues, don't think your family is going to come to an agreement in a few hours together.

Call a moratorium on talking about religion and politics during time together with your family.

Other Touchy Subjects

While religion and politics are public issues not to talk about, there are some personal topics that are touchy and could be very offensive to those who are there to celebrate and enjoy themselves.

People are advised not to bring up touchy personal topics. If they do, others are cautioned not to engage in the conversations.

While the following topics should be off-limits, they are not listed in any particular order of importance because all of them are important.

1. WEIGHT. At family gatherings, there is no need to comment on someone's weight while they are piling food on their plate. The person might already be sensitive about the weight. Besides, being overweight might be because of the medicine the person is taking.

This could be for people who are underweight as well as those who are overweight. No one wants to be body-shamed, especially in a group.

2. MARITAL STATUS. Some people are often questioned about their marital status. They might remain single by choice. Don't bring up someone's recent divorce. The person is already feeling bad enough about the breakup without someone making it worse.

3. STARTING A FAMILY. Don't ask married couples why they don't have children. They might not want children, or there could be a fertility problem. There is no need to bring up that touchy subject.

4. INCOME. It is insensitive to compare salaries, but some family members do just that. The subject is usually raised by someone earning a decent salary. He does so to make himself seem important, while putting down others who might not make as much.

5. SEX LIFE. A person's sex life is private, whether he or she is single or married. The topic is a touchy one and does not belong at a family gathering. It is an embarrassing subject to discuss around older relatives, including parents and grandparents. Young people don't need to learn about the birds and bees at a family function.

6. PRICE OF SOMEONE'S BELONGINGS. Some people have a bad habit of asking people how much they paid for their clothes, jewelry, and other belongings. Comparing the price of someone's personal property should never be done.

7. CREDIT SCORES. I have seen this happen at a family gathering. A real estate agent used her authority to check credit scores. Using her laptop, she began comparing the credit scores of family members. It was a very insensitive and embarrassing act that should not have been done in a public setting. Even those with high credit scores were appalled.

8. MEDICAL CONDITIONS. Some people love talking about their medical conditions even at the dinner table. They give detailed reports about their recent doctor's visit. They bring others into the conversation by asking what medications they are on. Some of the people they ask are not even on any medicines.

9. OFFENSIVE JOKES. Some family members love to tell stories about their upbringing. They embellish the tales and make others the subject of offensive jokes. That should not be.

Missing Family Members

If you have noticed that certain relatives have stopped showing up at family gatherings, it might be because of the sensitive subjects that are discussed. The food might be good, but it does not compensate for the harassment and embarrassment.

Gatherings should strengthen family relationships rather than cause distress.