Toddler Tooth Discolouration and Mum Guilt: Our First Dentist Visit Panic

I’m very grateful to my husband for picking this one up, because for some reason, I let it slip off my mum radar.

A few weeks ago, he noticed our son had a spot of discolouration on his tooth. He immediately mentioned it to me, and I remember thinking, Uh oh, that doesn’t sound good. But then I went back to worrying about the hundred other things mums worry about and completely forgot the tooth.

Fast-forward to last weekend. It was my morning to sleep in, I’d woken at 7 a.m. and was enjoying a bit of time scrolling on my phone before I emerged from the bedroom ready for parenting duties. Then I received a message from my husband, who was in the kitchen feeding our son his breakfast. The message said:

“Can you look up a good baby dentist? I'm a little worried about this tooth.”

Being the Sunday of a long weekend, my first rational thought was that we couldn’t do anything and no dentist would be open until Tuesday. Of course, after that thought, I jumped out of bed in a panic and started Googling “children’s dentist near me.”

My mind started racing to dramatic conclusions: Oh no, he has a dead tooth. It’ll need to be removed. Do they use a general anaesthetic to remove a baby’s tooth? God, I hope so!

The other thought I had was: This is all my fault, I haven’t been brushing his teeth enough and I should do more.

I brush my son’s teeth twice a day, and if anyone has tried to brush the teeth of an 18-month-old they’ll know it’s a challenging task, so really, any amount of brushing you can get in is great. But you can’t beat yourself up about not brushing them well enough because it’s impossible.

I found a children’s dentist nearby and set myself a reminder to call them on Tuesday during nap time.

While Googling, I also discovered that babies should be taken for a dental check-up by their first birthday, or within six months of their first tooth erupting. This was something I didn’t know, probably because when I was a child, going to the dentist that young wasn’t a thing.

Sometimes, I have those days where I put him down for a nap feeling all cocky and confident that he’s going to have a really long sleep… and then he’s awake again within the hour. Well, this happened to me on the Tuesday.

I did a couple of chores, had lunch and then went to call the dentist. They said their first appointment wasn’t until two months’ time… at 12 p.m.

Two months away! That’s a long time to be left worrying about a tooth. And 12 p.m. is his nap time. Can you imagine trying to take a tired grumpy toddler to the dentist? I would be so frazzled and stressed and he would pick up on that, making it a really unpleasant experience for everyone.

I mentioned that he had a discolouration and they still thought the most suitable appointment would be in two months’ time. So, I continued the booking process with the plan to look at other options.

Then he woke up and my life admin time was over. We continued with our afternoon and once again, my mum brain kicked in and I forgot about the tooth. Why was I being so complacent about this?

Luckily, my husband came through again. He got home and asked me what had happened and I told him about the appointment. This prompted him to suggest I call around, which reminded me that’s exactly what I’d been about to do when he woke up.

The next day, I called another dentist and they had an appointment in two days’ time at 10:30 a.m. Two days versus two months, they could definitely take our money. I quickly cancelled the other appointment.

I had a major fear of going to the dentist as a child, so I wanted to make this experience as pleasant as possible. I’d already taken our first steps towards that by choosing an appointment time more suitable for us.

We arrived 10 minutes before our appointment as we were new patients and I knew there would be paperwork to fill out. I quickly completed the forms and we proceeded to the waiting area. We waited in the children’s area, which had a painting of a crocodile and a sloth on the wall. I was able to keep him busy for the first few minutes by singing a nursery rhyme he knows about a crocodile. Then I remembered we had some books in my bag, so we read them. Thankfully, we only had to wait about 20 minutes before it was our turn.

The dentist came out and called us in. The staff were all very friendly and gave us lots of smiles, which made my son feel comfortable. He was smiling and showing off to everyone. I explained we were worried about a tooth. I was actually able to lift his lip and show them, which is something I was never able to do with him at home.

On the phone they mentioned that I might have to sit in the chair with him, but throughout the process they kept him in his pram which made it easier for examining him.

The dentist examined his teeth and asked me lots of questions about his diet. She was very nice about it, but my guilty conscience made me feel like I was being interrogated and I was just waiting to be told I’d done the wrong thing.

Then she asked if we feed him blueberries.

Yes, my son loves blueberries and eats them every day. I fear the day I go to the freezer and find we’ve unexpectedly run out of our frozen stash.

The dentist explained that sometimes teeth can become bruised if they’ve bumped their mouth on something, but she was also suspecting blueberry staining.

She got a hand scaler out and gave him a fake set of teeth and a toothbrush to play with, and he brushed the fake teeth while she was able to successfully scrape the blueberry staining off.

So yes, my son’s expensive blueberry habit was the reason behind all the panic.

We left the dentist, my son proudly displaying his new toothbrush they had given him. The dentist tried to make him a balloon out of a rubber glove, but he was so happy with his toothbrush that he didn’t want it. I immediately messaged my husband to let him know everything was okay and we went home.

When we got home, I put him down for his nap. As I walked him to his bedroom, he rested his head on my shoulder and said something that sounded like, "I love you."

I know he doesn't fully understand what it means yet, but he's heard us say it so often that he knows we say it to him at nap time.

All this time, I’d been worrying that I wasn’t doing enough to look after his teeth. At that moment, I came to the realisation that I was doing something right.

We’ve told our son we love him so much that, at 18 months, he’s started saying it back.

Parenting win right there!