To the Man You Didn't Know

It's important for you to know a few things about your dad. Without a full measure of understanding, you just won't be able to get very far with only the parts you have been exposed to or what, in limited (and possibly jaded) opinions, have been filtered into your mind. All I ask, is that you will honor him now by having an open heart and a teachable spirit. He is the missing link, the generation between me and of you. I am offering a glimpse into what you might have missed, but owe to yourselves to take in.

In the womb, he would jump around, kicking and moving about, so anxious to engage the world where his extroverted self belonged. He would even wake me out of sleep to remind me that he was alive with purpose. And he couldn't wait. In fact, he came three weeks too early.

Oh, what a glorious adventure began in raising him. He kept me on my toes with his antics and his zest and curiosity for life. We accrued stories that still make us laugh of all his shenanigans. But even when he had tired and tried my very last nerve, his smile and beautiful blue eyes sparkling with the grandest of love and spilling over, quickly dispelled any frustration I ever had as his mother.

David had that affect on us all which endeared us to him, especially to my mother. He had her wrapped from the beginning. He was her little prince. But to my brother and sister, only a decade older, he was almost like their annoying little brother. To me, that was perfect because of all the times they had annoyed me, a decade older than them!

When David started getting siblings added to his life, he had a bit of an adjustment to make. He enjoyed the company, but in being the firstborn, he readily made sure the pecking order was in place. His dominance was never malicious in sibling rivalries, only "wily" with his wits and determined in his will to shine. Somehow though, his brother and sisters were captured by those qualities (plus blending with his ability to make them laugh,) served to lead them right into step. This trend would be their lifelong pattern. It would be said of him, "He loved being the big brother!"

There was also a serious side to his role as big brother. He took the responsibility of it with his full heart, actively invested in the lives and best interests of those he held dear, having a listening ear available 24-7 and offering compassionate advice when asked for. Sometimes the siblings came to their big brother because he was the "only" one they had confidence in, trusting they would receive understanding and comfort from.

Perhaps one of David's biggest struggles was in learning the way that others insisted on teaching throughout his school years. There wasn't a stupid or slow bone in his body, only unbending teachers without talent or skill to bring out his strengths. Only a few had the capacity to understand David had a different way of taking in information and of applying it to rigid standards. As his mother, I soon learned that he had way more to teach and give than mere "school" had to offer, though.

I would say that one of David's strongest strengths was his ability to make friends, really getting to know others, having true concern for others wellbeing and offering support with kindness, time, and attention. David had impact...positive impact on so many people throughout his life. One of his friends so aptly described him as being a "solid" man. I looked up the definition of a solid man from AI (artificial intelligence) findings on the internet which advises, "To understand what it means to be a solid man, consider these key traits:"

Integrity: Uphold strong moral principles and be honest in all dealings.

Responsibility: Take ownership of your actions and fulfill your commitments.

Respect: Treat others with kindness and consideration, valuing their perspectives.

Courage: Stand up for what is right, even in the face of adversity or fear.

Empathy: Show understanding and compassion towards others' feelings and experiences.

Resilience: Bounce back from setbacks and maintain a positive attitude in challenges.

Only one man has been perfect (without flaw,) and his name was Jesus. But if we understand the term, "perfect" as being whole, complete, and mature, then David was well on his way of completion of that task. He had many life experiences in hard knocks that built being "solid" into his character. He was the total package of that AI definition!

The work field was much like his school experiences. David had many jobs throughout his life, but he struggled maintaining them. He made many friends along the way in every place, though. Maybe "fitting in" to this world's standards and ideas wasn't ever going to happen, but he enjoyed learning and being himself wherever God put him.

When life brought disappointments, struggles, failures...it never stopped David. He smiled through his tears and through his fears. I know because I felt the pain each time he cried. He was so courageous for never giving up.

David never gave up on love in any form or fashion, either. He was 100% resilient in that department. Never once did he doubt in God's abiding mercy or grace and his faith was bulletproof. And David also never gave up on his belief in having a lifelong partner. He kept trying for that time and again, never losing hope that it would exist for him. He finally found it in the last five years of his life, truly at peace, enjoying every minute of the life they had together. God was good to David and his Brooke.

David also never gave up on any of his five children whom he loved dearly. He always believed the best in them, spoiled them to the best of his ability, advocated for them, truly enjoyed them, and prayed for them. He adored them and wanted them to be happy. (One he can be with in Heaven now.) He also inspired many nieces and nephews and other young, fatherless men he mentored.

And David was a good son. He saw the best in me even through my worst behaviors. He made me strive to be a better person to live up to what he saw in me. If only I could measure up to that. Not having his physical unconditional support and encouragement is extremely difficult now. But he did it so well, and gave me lessons in resilience and courage that give me the confidence to carry on until we are together again eternally.

This is who your dad was...a solid man who brought sunshine to the soul and in whom you can be very proud of!