To the greatest mom ever

This is to one of the strongest and loving individuals in my life right now and that is my mom, who sometimes I refer to as mommy bear. I am truly grateful to have a mother like her, because of the sheer resiliency and strength that she shows no matter what she is going through. For always finding something to be grateful for in the midst of living through some of the most challenging moments in her life.

I truly began to realize how strong my mom really is when my brother had a brain injury from a car accident in 2011, the same year when my sister's engagement had broken off. On top of all of this she was dealing with having a TMJ (temporomandibular -acts like a sliding hinge, connecting your jawbone to your skull) problem caused by nerve damage and then having to get brain surgery. With physical pain aside, she had tremendous emotional and psychological pain to deal with. Although we were all with her and supported her in dark moments, and really made sure she didn't feel alone in all of this; all the things she was going through was for her to go through. She was the one who had to face it head on daily, and somehow find the light at the end of the tunnel.

This was the year that had the biggest impact on my mom. Although as a parent she’s had worse moments in life to deal with, for instance having to leave her home country with 7 young children, trying to find a way out in the midst of war- leaving behind everything, her brother passing away from a heart attack around the same time and living through situations where the future didn't seem so promising, 2011 was the year that would change my mom forever. What she went through in 2011 was the most challenging for her beyond any pain describable. It really tested her strength, her beliefs and her willpower to keep moving forward. Dealing with a person with brain injury is one of the most challenging things anyone could ever face, even worse when it is your own son.

I saw my mother cry for the first time ever in my life and to see her this broken and helpless really hurt me deeply. Watching my mom breaking down in front of, feeling completely hopeless and broken paralyzed me. I wanted to do anything to make her feel better, but in that moment, nothing could make her feel better other than my brother getting better. This was when I knew, sometimes it is best to let someone just go through the pain, rather than try to fix it with words or with showing them love. The best thing to do is to give them their moment and let them have it. As a family, we did everything possible to help our mom, to be there for her and support her. But at the end of the day, the pain she was suffering, she had to go through it alone. The journey was hers to experience and find what’s waiting for her at the end of the tunnel.

The whole brain injury with my brother took a great toll on our family and left us all feeling shocked and overwhelmed with so much pain and trauma to deal with in the coming years. That one experience would completely change all of us forever; but mostly my mom was the one who had to go through this pain and still show up and be strong for our family.

This experience was an eye opener for me, but through it all it was my mom that suffered the most. Going through so much pain for so long, my mother never gave up, always made sure she was there for all of us. She got up every day, with a positive mindset and the will to keep going no matter what she had to deal with. She continued to be a loving person, she never showed any sadness in front of us and always made sure we were all okay and that my brother was getting better. She lived each and every day with so much gratitude, always made sure she said thank you for her experiences no matter how painful and believed that my brother would get better and be normal again.

Some times when I would get sad about my brother, my mom would tell me that it could be worse, that he could be paralyzed forever and that even though my brother was not going to ever be the same that we should be thankful he is alive and doing well and is able to walk, eat and function like a normal human being. She always had this strong mindset and the will to keep going and to keep pushing beyond her beliefs to find a way for my brother to get better day by day. There were times when the doctors would tell my mom that my brother would never be able to move his left arm again, that he would never be able to eat food normally; or even that he couldn’t talk again. But my mom never let the words of the doctor limit her beliefs about my brother getting better. She believed that my brother would get better and there was no doctor in the world that could tell her otherwise.

My brother’s healing process took a very long time, but there was never a moment where I saw my mom giving up or even believing for a second that he would not be normal again. Today my brother is doing great, although there are still moments that are challenging for him and for us as a family; my mom never shows a sign of weakness or sadness and never has in the last nine years. She wakes up every day with so much hope and gratitude that you would never think she went through so much pain and suffering in her life.

Whenever we sit down to talk, my mom always tells me that I should be so grateful for everything that we experience in life and that everything we go through is a lesson for us to learn from. She always reminds me to be grateful and to see the good in the challenging experiences we go through as human beings. That we have the strength to handle anything we go through in life, that we as human beings have the will power to do anything in life. I always look up to my mom because she has been so strong and loving no matter what.

Coming from a country where girls were not allowed to go to school, and most women were only seen as housewives and nothing more; my mom has always pushed beyond her limitations. She pushed herself to learn English on her own, through seeking out an English teacher. She learned to send emails, use a phone, get her driver’s license and now volunteers at our community center every week. She has the most amazing attitude about life. Her optimism is what I idolize daily and use as inspiration to get through my own challenging experiences. She’s a reminder for me to never give up and that anything you put your mind to you can achieve. That you should never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do in life. I am super proud to have a mom like her; she is a true sign of strength and love beyond all else.