This Old Barn

This old barn has stood for more than three generations. Sometimes while looking at the worn boards and rusting roof, it is hard to believe that this is where so much love, joy, and even pain, started. If our minds carry memories and experiences so vividly that we can smell the fragrant air or feel the softness of the grass, or even taste the last dinner you shared with someone that you loved, then can a place that witnessed those memories also absorb and record each detail - each emotion? I think it can, and this old barn is a testament to it.

I slowly looked around in astonishment and love. It looked so beautiful. Gentle lights twinkled like the stars. The perfume of the flowers was better than the finest fragrance. The old rundown roof was the canvas to the beauty of the glowing chandeliers. It was magical. It was my wedding day and I was surrounded in the history of my ancestors.

The worn planks that struggled together to keep the barn upright were like beloved pages in a book. I turned to my left to see the loving work my great grandfather placed into the construction of the barn. It was to be a place of hope and new beginnings for my great grandmother and him. They were to breed horses, and raise chickens and grow everything green and fresh and full of life. This land was to be their finest hour; their finest life, a place to cultivate love for many years to come.

It was centuries ago it seems, but my great grandfather worked night and day to prepare a life for the girl with the long, brown-wavy hair and gentle heart that shone in her amber eyes like the light of the sun.

My hand glided over his words in a reverent caress.

“Amelia was the planet I orbed around; and I did so with the purpose and distinction of gravity - when it knows that it must anchor itself in order to fully do its job properly.”

I never heard his words spoken from his own lips as I was not born yet, but each time the story was passed down to each one of us, the meaning echoed in the conviction my great granddad had when he originally said it. My fingers slid over where he had etched his declaration into the whitewashed wooden boards; as deep with feeling as the depth of the inscription.

I moved down to the next board which served as a page in history. My grandfather saw my grandma in a dream, coming across a bridge, her step light and airy, and her eyes full of purpose. He was in love at first sight. Even though his first sight of her was that dream, he felt her essence to the core of his soul and he knew. Weeks later when she came to one of his church services, he instantly recognized the woman who ran through his mind like his favorite song.

As a young minster and unmarried, he was constantly being introduced to someone’s daughter or distant cousin. A minster needed a wife after all. He needed to lead by example and live the sanctity of marriage before his parishioners. He understood the logic, but he knew the truth. The greatest example he could make was to wait on the woman who inspired him to really live what the word “love” meant. To give his all to her, not because it was required, but because it was his pleasure to allow her to see and feel how she inspired his best self to step forward. It took three days for the proposal to come. It took a lifetime for the love to flourish so deeply, that it spilled on to us children of the generations. It spilled onto the beaten planks of this old barn.

“If a dream is a manifestation of our truest, most secret desires; then the reality of you walking into my life was the reason I was born. To love you, and feel the love from you has been my greatest accomplishment, because it taught me to give to those around me in a way that fulfilled my greatest destiny. I love you forever and beyond.”

Chipped paint and rusty nails lay witness to my grandfather’s declaration. My fingers lovingly moved over each word and the energy of peace and happiness made each board, each chipped surface as beautiful as the walls in the finest castle.

I moved on to the one that always made me smile, as this one I saw lived each day of my life. They were the words of my father to my mother.

“My darling Sophie, You could have chosen anyone. You could have spent your time in any number of ways. Your talents as an artist and writer drew in anyone your work touched. There were so many choices that we all face daily. It is the patience and the wisdom of all we have learned in life, that gives us a better understanding of the fact that each choice has a potential consequence; good or bad. We can make those choices rashly or with thought, but we make them daily. I am so in awe of the fact that your choices led you to me. Your choices set the foundation for me to build a home with you safe and secure in my arms. You chose to accept my love and I choose to honor it every day of my life.”

I dreamt of that kind of love and dedication since I was a young girl sneaking into the barn to feel and read the history of the generations who helped me to be. I felt that there was no other type of marriage to have, but the special one that my great grandparents, grandparents, and parents found. My mother and father, always not only loved each other, but taught my siblings and I how to love, simply by being born of it.

Each one told their story, each one stood in this old barn and wrote a testament to the love they were blessed enough to find.

I could have chosen any number of beautiful, majestic, elegant venues to celebrate the love that came to me when I least expected it. But this old barn was the most illuminating/magical venue of them all; nicks, cuts, and worn wood included. Love was literally etched into each fiber of its existence. What décor could I have found that was more beautiful than that.

Joseph was what I had waited for all of my life. It wasn’t his looks, though he was handsome, or his style, which quite simply exuded appeal in every way, but it was his ability to not only find, but enjoy the element that makes each person he is close to special - unique. Even when they can’t see it in themselves, he believes in the ones he loves and cares for unconditionally. He celebrates the beauty in each person his life touches, even if they need to part ways, he believes they will find their best path. We all must take our life-walk to learn about ourselves and others.

We all must truly search within to find ourselves, and embrace the diamonds as we work on the rough.

My hands suddenly slipped over something new. A new etching, a new story was imprinted on the canvas that painted my family’s picture of love.

It was Joseph's message to me. I read each word with astonishment and tears.

“Lily, how can I truly honor the selfless, gentle beauty that you are to me? I carefully carve my words into this well- loved wood of your family who has expressed themselves for generations. How can I possibly say anything worthy of that kind of devotion except that you have etched yourself into my heart? Like this weather beaten wood, your love has made me richer, more ornate, and open in a way that I can’t explain. Your soul meets mine on a level that transcends the clarity of sound. Your love is the music I dance to, your smile is the light in my heart. I am so thankful and excited to walk through life with you beside me from this moment forward. I only hope and pray to deserve the faith you have placed in me as we say our vows and I become your husband.”

I stand here and feel all of the love that surrounds me, through generations. It wraps around me like a soft and cozy blanket. It is etched into my soul like a loving handmade quilt. I smile through the emotion that has made tears fall on the happiest day of my life.

I turn to walk through to the makeshift dressing room set up in the corner of the barn to finish getting ready.

Josephs words singing in my heart in the knowledge that I know that I am loved. I am in the most romantic place in the entire world.

My heart is overflowing. I lovingly slip into my beautiful dress as a queen would prepare for her coronation in an elegant castle…

in this old barn.