Think Like A Peanut

Think Like A Peanut

I have never understood how my father’s mind works. I’ve been a daddy’s girl my entire life - I would even say my dad is one of my best friends. However, as close as we are, I have never been able to figure out how someone so funny and innocent and gullible can also be the strongest, bravest, and most profound person I’ve ever met. He has the capacity to take on what life has dealt him with a nonchalance that is simultaneously inspiring and irritating. We’ll be having a conversation, completely innocuous, and suddenly he says something completely off the wall about life or society or relationships; it comes out of nowhere - and it makes perfect sense.

In January of 2015, we were sitting around the dining room table (Dad, Aunt M, Aunt E, Uncle M, Cousin K, and me) playing Apples to Apples. The family had come to visit dad after a particularly rough holiday season which saw my father admitted to the hospital on 3 separate occasions and included 2 major surgeries. Uninvited, my Aunt E and Uncle M had left us a voicemail after Dad’s first surgery announcing they had already bought plane tickets and were coming to visit for three days over MLK weekend. Having no choice, my mother and I (mostly mom) cleaned up the house as best we could while spending most of our time taking care of Dad. Upon their arrival Uncle M and Aunt E had a surprise for us - Aunt M would be arriving by plane later that same day. We would later find out Aunt M was staying for an entire week. Obviously my mother and I were upset at this intrusion, but to keep the peace for my father's benefit. Aunt M and Aunt E are dad's sisters. So we silently vowed to endure our unwelcome guests and try and make the best of it. After my aunts had invited my cousin to visit, and stay the weekend as well, we found ourselves playing Apples to Apples at the dining room table.

During the previous Thanksgiving, my Uncle V and Cousin K had come to visit and we played the same game. I remember telling K that if we were to ever get a group of our family together for a game of Apples to Apples it would result in tear-inducing hilarity and we would probably lose horribly. I was right on both accounts. My father won round after round. After some grumbling about losing from the aunts, my dad let them in on his expert strategy: “Think like a peanut.” My cousin and I were both thoroughly confused by this (and thoroughly entertained), but according to Dad, if you think like a peanut you have the best chance at winning. Somehow, some way my aunts understood this nugget of wisdom perfectly. They both nodded as if it made perfect sense. And then proceeded to kick ass ass for the rest of the game. “Think like a peanut” became the punchline of the night, but the phrase has stayed with me ever since. I still have no idea what it means exactly, but the absurdity, hilarity, and simplicity of it comprise something that is purely my Dad.

Whenever life throws a challenge at me that I cannot figure out, when things get too difficult or confusing for me to handle, I will remember my Dad. I will remember his strength, his wisdom, his sacrifices, his braveness, his humor, and his love. I will know that I can work through any obstacle I face because he taught me to push boundaries, to ask questions, to always move forward, and to think outside the box - to think like a peanut.

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