The Trouble With...(Pt. 8)

We took a summer vacation to visit some areas in Illinois and Missouri. One of our main destinations was St. Louis, Missouri. Stephanie was about 4, and Justin was pushing 7. Family trips were always pretty predictable for us. There were certainties that would happen no matter how hard we tried to avoid them. I’m confident that every family has their own set of certainties.

For our family, the first absolute that would always occur is a little something we like to refer to as ‘the saturation effect.’ I cannot recall a vacation that we took that did not result in a much needed or talked about rain for our destination point. It is going to happen on our vacation. We guarantee it. Perhaps we should start charging the places we travel to for our services.

The second thing we could always count on was that Justin would spend the entire trip with his face buried in a book, or two, or ten. From the minute we packed the car, he would be sitting in the back seat, reading, until we stopped the car. If we pointed things out, he would look up, take notice, then return to his story. He might take the time to ask questions about points of interest, if they were, in fact, interesting.

Next, Stephanie would sleep. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but let me remind you. Stephanie loves to sleep. She requires sleep. She sleeps as if it is her job. And in this way, she is a workaholic. Sleep is a wonderful thing for Stephanie. Within 15 minutes of being in the car, she would be sleeping. She would stay asleep until we stopped the car. And there were times when she wasn’t all to happy about having to wake up to eat or use a bathroom or (could-life-get-any-worse?) site-see.

These things never changed. This trip was no exception. Things went just as expected. We made it to Illinois and stayed with Grandma for a few days. It was very hot and dry. They hadn’t seen rain in weeks and didn’t expect any. The corn wasn’t nearly as high as usual. We got to help with the chores: feeding the chickens, rabbits, pigs and cows. Justin got to try the riding mower. Stephanie played with all the kittens and puppies. We went into town a few times because it was so hot and they didn’t have air conditioning.

I think it was our third day there when a big storm finally came blowing across the plains. The weather had been so dry that the rain didn’t soak in right away. Of course there was a lot of standing water in the fields and roadways. It looked as if the farmers might actually lose their crops at first! It was also the first time I witnessed a tornado. It never got close enough to us to do any damage, but we did feel the winds. The following day we were still stuck inside because of the rain when lightening struck the tree right next to the house. The power went out, and some appliances were lost, but no one was hurt. When we bring the rain, we’re serious.

After the rain subsided, we packed up and headed on to St. Louis to see The Arch! Have I mentioned that I’m related to Merriwether Lewis? It’s true. So this trip was a little exciting for me. And yet, when I think back on this trip, I remember nothing about Lewis and Clark, the history, or any details at all. I remember the ride in the elevator going up into the Arch.

If you have never been in The Arch, let this description help you decide if it is something you should invest the time and money into doing. I don’t mean to deter you. I mean to say that there are those who should go up into The Arch, and then there are those who most definitely should not. Through no fault of their own, they are ill prepared for what they are about to experience. I shall now prepare you.

You must wait in line to buy tickets to enter the elevator to go to the top. As you are in line, you watch digital time boards that resemble something you might see at a train station. They are constantly changing and updating. They tell you that the next elevator is sold out. And the next. And the next. If you haven’t arrived by the time the doors opened in the morning, you may not get to go up to the top of The Arch that day.

You should be advised that the cost might be an issue depending on how many people you will be paying for. Like any other tourist business, you will have to pay more than you think you should, but because you are there you are willing to make the exception. You will have so much time to wait that you will want to visit the museum while you are there. You will probably eat something, as well. All of these things add up to the “where did all of our money go?” game. I’m sure you’ve been a contestant here! Once you figure out where all the money went, you get nothing for playing. Congratulations! Sometimes your children will have consolation prizes like key chains, snow globes, pencils, magnets, t-shirts, etc. I always opt for a ballcap.

Once they get close to loading your elevator, you must wait in the elevator line. This is a one hour wait. Why? It’s to make you ask questions. It works, doesn’t it? Once you get on the elevator, they seat you, strap you in, and seal it up tight. They warn you about the length of the ride. It is a rather long ride and it goes slowly. The elevator doesn’t go straight up because The Arch isn’t straight. Go figure! Of course this makes sense, but who thinks about it until you’re in the moment? It travels up at an angle, then sets itself up straight every so often. So you go so many yards at an angle until you feel air pressure building up and you’re starting to fall onto the people next to you. Then the elevator stops, there is a clanking sound as the cables readjust, and the bottom of the elevator drops to make the elevator vertical again. This series of events happens several times on the way to the top. It’s all very comical if you’re with the right people. It can be terrifying if you’re claustrophobic or if you don’t trust the mechanics.

We happened to be in a mixed crowd.

I thought I would pee my pants from laughing so hard on the way up! Others were laughing, too. We couldn’t look at each other. But there were some on our ride who had a kind of look that you might have if you were having tremendous stomach cramps and thought your bowels might explode all over everyone and everything within a two foot radius. It’s panic, I’m sure. And they were full of it. Some were on the verge of tears. Some were already crying. I was laughing so hard I was crying. Stephanie thought it was like a roller coaster ride. And poor Justin was shaking and sweating and keeping his eyes closed and squeezing my hand so hard that no blood was flowing into it. Once we reached the top, everyone flooded out of the elevator. Some moved much faster than others.

The view is amazing. It is surprising how far you can see and how high you are. Stephanie ran straight to the window and tried to jump on the ledge to see out. Justin ran straight to the down elevator and stood looking at it, waiting to go back down. The guest services person told him it wouldn’t be back for another 30 minutes because it had just left. He told the gentleman that he didn’t care, he was going to stay right there and wait. Despite my best efforts to bring him to a window, he did just that.