The Provider

The screeches, squeals and screams of a two year old child from the adjoining room permeated the tranquility of an extremely rare, individual shower. The warm water cascaded down shoulders and arms, thicker than a few years before with muscles strong from carrying, holding and cuddling her beautiful child. Claw marks from tiny nails and a clear outline of a toothy jaw, a bite from a game gone a bit too far, was bruising a lovely yellow with green around the edges on her chin. She was so shocked when it happened, the tiny creature giggling as he clenched his jaw shut tightly, tears of pain springing to her eyes. She let out a scream and tried to pull the little thing off her, causing more giggles and an even tighter grip. The fingers raked down her chin as she tickled under the boy's arms, finally causing the jaw to release.

A rush of cold air touched her legs, not as toned as they used to be, as the door of the shower was opened. She rubbed her eyes and looked down into a wide grin and scrunched up blue eyes under a mess of golden curls. The child was naked save for a nappy unfastened on his left hip.

A deep, strong voice yelled from the next room, in a mock angry expression. The child giggled and pushed past his mother into the shower, attempting to hide behind her. The man came into the bathroom, bending forward to stare at the boy, making him laugh more maniacally. The woman pulled the nappy off the child and handed it to her husband. They shared a smile.

Small wrinkles showed around each of their eyes, the past few months had not been easy for either of them.

The child sat on the floor of the shower and started pulling his toys out of his bucket, letting the warm water fall over his back. He pulled out a pink rubber duck and pressed it to his chest. As he pushed on the duck it let out a loud farting sound. The boy let the duck fall to the floor of the shower squealing for Daddy as he giggled.

The man kneeled in front of the shower door and rested his hand gently on the clear glass. The child smiled and placed his hand on the inside of the glass, pressing against his father's.

The woman's heart felt so full of love and happiness. Her husband had always been the provider for them, working long hours so she could be lucky enough to stay at home with their new born child. He missed out on many amazing experiences and firsts, working a job he was not happy with to ensure his family had everything they needed. He missed out on the first laugh and first roll over, it broke his heart to have been at work the day those amazing things happened. He had one day off at Christmas, thank goodness that was the day the child decided to take his first steps.

It had been a very hard few months, the woman thought as she watched the man smile with the child. The world had problems and that trickled down to impact upon the family with the man losing his job. Money was tight, they hadn't been able to get takeout as much or just buy things they wanted. Bills had been a little tougher to cover and they had to dip into their savings to ensure everything was paid. The woman had to increase her days working to help cover costs, so they had less time together. The man and the woman feet the pressure deepen, the anxiety pressing in on them until they found an envelope in their mailbox.

The envelope was an off white colour with their address neatly typed, showing through a clear plastic window. The woman gripped the envelope tightly, anxiety welling in her chest, thinking it was another bill. She ungraciously tore the edges of the envelope and wrestled the interior paper.

A small slip of paper slid into her hands, she has never received a cheque before, being an older form of money transfer and she has never really had money to receive yet she knows what it was. The amount of the cheque was written in small, neat handwriting and she had to look again as her breath caught in her throat. "Twenty thousand dollars only" . Surely this was some sort of creative advertisement to get her to buy shoes or change the bank their mortgage is through, but it all looked legitimate.

She skimmed the tri folded piece of paper accompanying the cheque. A logo at the top of the letter stated it is from an unknown business, quickly googled to be shown as some small lawyers office. Only a few words registered with her as her eyes darted back and forth- 'sorry' , 'loss' , 'inheritance' , 'cheque' , 'enclosed personal letter' . She stopped reading and fished in the envelope once again, pulling out a small, light pink piece of embossed paper. The paper was thick and soft, obviously expensive, probably from one of those correspondence kits that are sometimes sold in newsagencies. She read the beautifully written words.

'You do not know me but I am your Aunt. I kept my distance as your mother and I did not see eye to eye but I have watched from afar as you have grown from a rambunctious little child into an amazing young woman. I do not have much but I would like you to accept this money for you and your family. Know that I have never forgiven myself for not being closer to you, family is the most important thing in the world and that time is the one thing you cannot buy.'

It was signed, simply, 'Aunty'.

The woman did not say anything to her husband until she could be sure it was real, how often do you honestly hear about a legitimate $20000 cheque from an unknown relative arriving just when you need the help most? It was real, the bank teller smiled as she deposited the money into her account. The woman was shocked- it would take a few days to clear but it was legitimate and would help them so much.

At home that evening the woman sat down with her husband, they laughed and cried tears of joy together, enjoying the happiness and relief felt by each of them. They decided the husband would finally be able to spend time exploring himself, his creative ideas and desires for his future career. He would have time to create, to explore his imagination and grow as a designer. He had the time to find a job he wanted to do.

The man has always had to put his dreams on hold to provide for his family, he had never had time to look within himself to find what he truly wanted to do.

Anger, apprehension and anxiety swelled within him as he remembered his step father telling him he's an idiot and will never amount to anything. He always felt useless, had a fear to try for anything he truly cared about, due to the possibility of failure. The other emotion that was always portrayed was anger- being hit, punched, pushed and kicked became an almost daily occurrence. He would learn to hide all his emotions, no emotion was better than anger.

When he found out he would be a father the yelling, harsh words and physical abuse all came rushing back, filling his mind with dark thoughts. When his son was born he made sure to work as much as possible, he wasn't sure why but he knew it was necessary for him to survive and do the best for his family. His fear of destroying his son prevented him from forming a relationship with him.

The man started taking the child to daycare for the few days a week that he went. The child would hold the man's hand tightly as they walked from the path to the daycare door. The child seemed to love those moments. The second he saw his father he would smile and run to him for a tight cuddle.

They became partners in crime, the boy and the man.

The man learnt to smile, learnt to truly laugh, learnt to feel. He built a bond with his wife and son filled with happiness and love. He fought to gain a job he loved, he worked hard for enjoyment rather than to just make ends meet.

Months later the woman was doing the laundry, she turned out the pockets, fishing coins and scraps of paper from the fabric. Her hands closed around a small black covered paperback notebook. Scribbled in her husband's messy writing was a simple statement 'to my wife, my everything'.

She opened the tiny book, so light in her hands and turned to the first page. Beautiful quotes and affirmations filled the book, notes about his fears and the love he feels for his wife. Pages of notes stating his love and how grateful he was to his wife for her support. He vowed to not let the past shape his present in a negative way, he would forget the pain but remember the lessons.

The stepfather with the angry words and powerful fists reminded them of the pain that words can cause and the impact that anger can have on a child.

The job with the long hours that caused him to miss beautiful moments became a faded memory, a warning to remind both the man and the woman about what is important.

The family had each other, they knew time was precious and they looked at each other with all the love in the world shining from their eyes.