The Mystery of Black Women’s Hair, Destiny, and Divine Connection

The Mystery of Black Women’s Hair, Destiny, and Divine Connection

There’s a mystery I’ve observed over the years—why so many Black women struggle with hair growth or seem to stop caring for their hair altogether. It’s not just about beauty products or genetics. It’s deeper, spiritual even. I remember working at a convenience store as a young man, and a particular young girl would come in regularly.

She had a head full of long, beautiful hair—radiant, healthy, and full of life. Years later, I saw her again, and her hair was cut short. But it wasn’t just the hair that had changed. Her spirit seemed dimmed. I didn’t need to ask what happened. I already knew: the mate she had chosen was the problem.

I told her about the biblical story of Esther—a woman chosen by a king who loved her so deeply he offered her up to half of his kingdom (Esther 5:3). That’s the kind of love a woman deserves. A man who sees her worth, honors her presence, and elevates her destiny. But too often, I’ve seen Black women choose partners who diminish them, who fail to pray for them, protect them, or speak life into them.

And when a woman is not covered spiritually by her mate, it affects everything—her health, her peace, even her hair. Many Black women today wear other people’s hair, not realizing that this external covering often reflects an internal disconnect. It’s not just about style—it’s about identity. 1 Corinthians 11:15 says, “But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering”. In biblical terms, long hair symbolizes honor, beauty, and divine order. It’s a reflection of a woman’s glory and her submission to God’s design 2. When that glory is lost—whether through stress, trauma, or spiritual neglect—it shows.I once made a comment about a friend, saying she was waiting for her husband to die.

She misunderstood me, and it nearly led to confrontation. But what I meant was this: when a woman or man does not know how to pray for their mate, they are spiritually watching that person die. And without forgiveness, bitterness sets in. Bitterness is a poison—it can manifest as sickness, even cancer. I wasn’t skillful in how I said it, but the truth remains. A relationship without spiritual covering leads to darkness, not destiny.

I’ve had my own share of unholy relationships—connections that pulled me away from God rather than toward Him. And each time, I was reminded of the importance of divine alignment. 1 Corinthians 11:3 speaks of spiritual headship: “The head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” When this order is broken, chaos follows. A man who does not honor his wife, who fails to see her as his divine helper, is not just hurting her—he’s sabotaging his own destiny.

Black women, in particular, carry deep generational wounds. Many have been ruined by their past—abandonment, betrayal, and spiritual neglect. And without healing, these wounds become barriers to knowing the one true God. A woman who does not honor her father, her husband, or her spiritual covering cannot be led into Eden—the presence of God. Likewise, a man who does not uplift his woman is leading her into spiritual wilderness, not divine purpose.

This is not about blame—it’s about revelation. It’s about understanding that our physical appearance, our relationships, and our spiritual walk are all connected. Hair, in this context, becomes a symbol of glory, identity, and divine order. When a woman’s hair is flourishing, it often reflects inner peace, spiritual alignment, and emotional health. When it’s not, it may be a sign that something deeper is broken.

So to every woman reading this: choose wisely. Your mate is not just a partner; he is a gatekeeper to your destiny. And to every man: honor the woman God has placed in your life. Speak life into her. Pray for her. Protect her. Because when you do, you’re not just preserving her glory—you’re securing your own. So what's next, my life's disappointments and no love from the opposite mate. I see.