The Greatest Love

Jane was an eccentric being, standing alone in a community full of Gospel. It were of no surprise to her, being raised within the Bible Belt, that she didn’t fit “in”. Coming of course from a family of prestigious Pentecostals, she felt a certain duty toward morality. However, that wasn’t quite who she desired to be. Never was she allowed to cut her hair, she was also forced itno wearing long skirts, as pants may entice those of the opposing sex. If only it were the opposite sex that she suffered worry. Shackled from herself within, a person she couldn’t quite come to terms with. Truly she loved her family, which love, did breed her inclination to guilt. Unsure of what was wrong with her, why did she feel in her stomach this rushing warm sensation every time she saw her best friend Lily. Or why she would lay awake each night thinking only of Lily’s smile.

“Is it love?” She wondered

Surely not for she had been taught better.

Still it lingered in her mind.

The longer it went on the more she questioned,

“Why would God make me this way...?” She often berated herself.

Her family instilled her with strict beliefs you see.....

Being homosexual was strictly forbidden, for it was a grave sin. An abomination to God. Looked down upon and with extreme hate.

“Only a monster in lust could feel this way. There is no such place for love between two of the same sex. Only immorality and brimstone.” Her mother often spoke.

The abuse from her family only got worse. The more Jane attempted to express herself the more her family turned against her. Her mother wouldn’t allow for Jane to participate in sports due to a fear she may end up lesbian.

Jane came to find herself in a place of unparalleled depression, hate was brought to her life by “love”. A love for her fellow woman and a love for her family. She tried praying every night that God may take this from her, that it might pass from her cup. Often squalling in tears, for no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t change the ways that she felt. Disgusted with herself her mental health began to take a serious toll. Gay depression. Often times she was Hospitalized regularly for her chemical imbalances and general lack of love for herself, she still spiraled down. No matter how many pills she tried none made the pain go away, none made her change her feelings inside. She was hopeless. The more she felt love for her family the more she hated herself inside for being this abomination. She knew they would never accept her with love. She would give anything simply to be normal. No longer did she eat, or carry herself in her usual smile. She remained silent, no longer did you hear her laugh.

She often debated on ending it all, until one faithful day she discovered an Antique box sitting proudly outside her hospital door. Within the box she found a small, black book covered in an assortment of names. Alongside the book was a sum of roughly twenty thousand us dollars. Dumbfounded and baffled by the large amount of money she breathed a momentary sigh of relief. The book was full of stories about others coming to terms with their sexuality within such a strong community as well as their struggles directly related from their inability to accept themselves. An account of each of their endeavors as they grew into love for themselves. As well as an explenation as to why this gift was created. She used the money to completely change her life. She established herself, got herself an apartment in a more understanding community, finally allowing for her to think for herself and accept the truth behind love. Which gave her family time to learn behind Love. They understood more and realized they’d rather have her be who she is than dead. In time her family grew to cherish her for her individuality. Jane then set out to find the next heir to the black box so that another life could be spared and someone else could learn to truly love themselves.