The Food Riots

So it is entirely possible that my experiences with the other side, the ether, the Aether, or whatever you name the higher planes, they came calling upon me some years ago, and in their wake left a devastating awareness, a conciousness that had never viewed the ecosystems of the world in quite the way reality was now being presented. A reality, that shared itself through flashbacks to a history I never saw at the time, being on the peripheral of events, a participant in my life by only the barest definitions, the mechanical parts to be sure. Carrying out the days needs as best I could while the world unfolded around me, with not a single ounce of control. My fate was decided, just as sure as winter is seven months long up in the mountains where I live. A dozen of them flitted by, in what seemed like seconds, seconds that stretch into an empty void, the scattered revenants of memory swirling round in a cyclone of dissipating storm fronts, tearing them off their foundations and jumbling up the order of things. Would that a person could go back in time, if only to a Assage the grief, if only to catch that memory one more time, that golden instant, where love and light coalesced into utter perfection in my eyes, the peaceful scene I cling too, while tears drip from my eyes. Great hot swollen droplets, running down and falling from my eyes in a never ending torrent, their arrival the signal that grief is about to well up, at her memory. Grief that your soul will never feel the lightness of being that comes with knowledge that you can take for granted…the loving presence of your child.

I have not seen her in months. She just turned 16. This is the face of PAS and it is by no means a place where anyone would ever want to be, twisted and torn with grief, and living a life trapped in grief, with nothing but blame, shame and recrimination running through your mind. The same aspects finally breaking down the barrier of repetition and you become exactly what you have been made out to be, from a dozen years of alienation for having the affront to say…”I am the father, I would to exercise my rights, she deserves my name and place on her birth certificate…dammitt she is my child.” And a more hurtful and damaging response could not have been given, than that which I received for no good, justified, or honest reason, than to be as difficult as possible in the face of being held responsible for falsifying a birth certificate and claiming another as father, when you knew damned well she was mine. This was more fun in your eyes. To smash a father to pieces, using his only child as the weapon. To destroy life, liberty, my home and my mental well being. It took a dozen years but it was finally managed, all it took was you proving beyond any shadow of a doubt that your so called mothers attachment was nothing more than treating our daughter as your possession, a thing, and not a child that needed nurturing. Your abuse was never ending, in every aspect of my life, court enabled and exacerbated by judges who justify their complete failure to represent the idea that a fathers life matters beyond the enforced orders that only work one way.

Court orders that any one with half a brain in their heads would see are suicide. Guaranteed life destruction…just for the right to see my child and have my name on her registration, to which you raped my life, like you raped my person. Coitus may have been consensual, but stealing my sperm for another man’s ownership..that is so disgusting, that the judges and lawyers all just refused to acknowledge, that anything had happened, except to throw the book at the father, for having the audacity to have parenting instinct, you should have stuck to your own kind, if all you wanted was a donor. The idea that I could possibly ever be a deadbeat was only lies, compounded by your lies, reinforced with your actions, those reprehensible actions that were so bad, that for a judge to acknowledge they had happened and do something about it…it would have been prison.

It should have been prison for you, patnernity fraud is a crime…everywhere but here, despite it being on the books as such, held up by the Supreme Court 9-0, to be “abuse of the highest order, and morally akin to rape. It destroys the life of the child and the biological father,”and it’s perpetrators suffer from a mental disorder.

That Supreme Court issue in my country was called the baby naming case and it was bitter in its implications for fathers rights and the very simple way you can utterly destroy a man. That case was based on a 12 month period of an infants life, where the mother rendered the fathers name as unknown, purely for spite. After twelve months…going on two years, the situation was resolved and came with words that were very strong, language that could brook no misunderstanding in their delivered intent. The unfortunate fallout for the father came a short time later, when he sued the government for the abuse he had suffered. The judgement then, was swift and sure…after being denied the language on the document to signify his parentage, the first act he did upon achieving his victory…was to sue the government, showing the courts that he did not have his child’s best interests at heart, for the first thing he should have done, was actually get his name out and put on the document that had denied him paternity in the first place.

I feel sick for that man, knowing what I do. It is like telling the rape victim to kiss their rapist, smile and nod all around, the plucky courts have saved the day, and look, they kicked the father good and proper, for thinking about himself…that is only reserved for other rape victims, our system requires this process be followed…shrug off the fact, that you have been vilified and labelled and treated as a rapist by the registration where your name should have been because “unknown,” is reserved only for children of incest or rape, which is a nice Segway into my own submission to this canon of records, for what purpose I have no reason, doubt and sheer beaten down exhaustion have me completely at odds with my entire nation, in a silent screaming war inside my head, arising out of the trauma induced and kicked into my body for what makes “Trociuk V. Supreme Court of British Columbia 2003” upheld on appeal 9-0 look like a cake walk.

For one: I was the first to know of the pregnancy with the words, “I am pregnant, you are not the father, get out of my life,” 8 months 2 weeks later my daughter was born early…funnily enough I have omens aplenty surrounding me that day, though I knew nothing, I would not learn she had given birth for weeks after the fact…and this is where I not only prove that “I” AND my daughter are the true victims but I lay out the fact that I was playing by the strategy developed over the course of the pregancy. Too which she knew full well what I planned to do; you can tell. It is too perfect for it not to have been preplanned, her abuses were textbook, rehearsed, and practiced, like someone playing a role in a play, the glazed eyes never dropped and the game never stopped, and the courts enabled it, exacerbated it, and put me in a position of utter defenseless recepient on my knees, of face first blows to the head, non stop, for a dozen years. 12 straight years without once ever breaking character and not once ever deviating from the most carelessly abusive handling of the raising of our daughter…too the point of utter insanity, that should put her in an institution for being a criminal sociopath with no sense of wrong or right, just animal pack mentality, of a starving jackal.

The first day I knew about my daughter, the first action…was to go to who I thought was my company lawyer and sue the mother to force a DNA test, because it was the only way I could establish any rights to my child whatsoever being as how 99% of paternity tests are initiated by the mother, ostensibly because fathers are all dead beats and do not care where or who or how many children they have…not anything to do with the crazed situation I am sure…I had just spent 9 months freaking out because I had read all the science and law behind her arbitrary decision to suddenly act this way with regards to paternity and it was a horror story of disorder, and abuse, and long term affects on the children involved. The science on the subject was clear…scorched earth, unless the father did these things…for the record, I was consciously acting, following a plan, and was never once the person that people think me today,because the today view of this father is painted heavy with the tarnish of corruption and taint where misapplied lies, slanders and insinuations, coupled with extreme financial abuses by multiple people, in multiple situations, over years and years. Issues that are never brought up in family court, because judges cannot be bothered to deal with the fallout from rumours that cannot be verified…that was court #1. If a father in a paternity fraud position wishes to exercise his paternal rights, his first act must be to establish a clear line of claim in order to gain any traction with the system in its efforts to derail the situation and push status quo with the admonition that they are not thinking of their child in an instinctual position to which I respond 16 years later, they are correct, I did not instinctually think of filing a lawsuit in a human constructed system…I first thought to kill her, because it was the logical conclusion to the best possible scenario for the child to live relatively free of the scarring that would ensue should the paternity fraud issue be a worst case scenario playing out, and it is true. If I had done that, my daughter would be clear of the damage that ensued…you see, that is the answer the courts wanted to hear…this is a loaded subject, they are talking about instinct, and they instinctively think they either do not have it because they are male, or have a superior level of it, where nurturing a child is concerned… If a father wants to establish his paternal rights, he must make sure never to use any emotion in his voice, he can never admit to instinctual love for his child, so the battle becomes one of attrition. You are about to be denied every possible avenue of proof that the first thing you did when the puzzle pieces fit they way they did…I cried, I cried for both of us, for a life interrupted and for one abrogated before it could begin.

It took 42 months and 2 weeks to get my name registered on my daughter birth certificate and cost over $250,000.00 CAD which was my entire income over that time…I gave up counting after it reached $850,000.00 CAD, I blame myself for my lapse in record keeping…I never gave credit for the impact of the traumas that were completely ignored by the medical community, and despite many efforts to seek help for what became a spiralling depression, I was told I was exaggerating my situation, lying and just seeking drugs, and I was diagnosed as bi polar and my medical records appended to say to never trust the patient, he is a liar…but that is another story, one of the many that came out of this issue.

My daughter had three birth certificates that I know of, the third being her only and first legal document. I have often worried about my daughters identity because someone sure made free with mine, and it was the eviscerating disclosures I was forced to make of my businesses, my family, my parents incomes and whatever else the courts could think of to completely spread every possible private piece of information a person can have, on the table, with I might add…my DNA profile, twice.

That issue that springs from my daughters identity issue makes me think of Court #10. That was the day that should have been the happiest in my life but was, instead, the harbinger of the end of my world.

A father cannot affect change to a live birth registration without the mothers consent. When it finally got done, it was by forcing the mother to attend to the situation…which was nothing, they had been…”forcing her for 3 1/2 years and all she had done was violate every single precept in the handbook the courts give you for dealing with being a single parent and things you should not do for the childrens sake when you are fighting with the other parent. She violated every single one, in order. From the first day of the first court order, when my daughter was seven months old.

One of the most abusive things a mother in Aa paternity fraud situation can do is prevent the early bonding between a father and their child, the most important time being the first seven months of life. This is terrible for fathers who are separated from their children at birth, it is like dying inside, part of you knows that you are supposed to be with your child, it is like a permanent sick feeling of dread in your stomach, that never dies. The first time I had my daughter, was in a hotel, I got a suite and began to learn how to parent, 399 miles from home, where the mother had moved, four days after the DNA test returned my 99.99% proof of parentage and I could finally say that I was the father of the red haired blue eyed little girl, my hair never gave it away. The unfortunate part was the mothers response which was to suddenly declare that I had raped her, and she had been too devasted to say anything. I had taken advantage of her when she had passed out drinking. A matter I was quick to dispose of in court, quite stringently I might add, but that was too late for me already, the rumour spread like wildfire and my business suffered terribly, but you cannot hold a mother responsible for what she says, you must only think of the child, nothing else matters…