The Dreamer

As Cassie opened the front door, a cascade of familiarity hit her like an overwhelming memory. But the coldness of the empty house, filled with so many memories, so much pain, so much confusion it was almost unbearable for her to take another step. Next was the sound that was most familiar to her. His voice.

“Are you ready to go in?” Patrick asked in his assured, confident tone. He always made her skin tingle when he talked to her that way.

She was afraid to turn around and face her fiancé. She thought that if she looked away from the empty room, then she would lose all of the memories of home just like that and nothing would seem familiar anymore.

“Uh, yes. I…I guess so,” she stammered. ‘Why am I so nervous?’ Cassie thought to herself. ‘I feel like a damn kid.’ She pushed the door the rest of the way open. As the door noisily squeaked in resistance to being opened after a year, she steadied herself and stepped inside over the threshold and onto the tiled entryway. Her designer heels echoed through the entryway as she stepped one foot inside, then the other, then a few more rapid steps quickly after as the others followed behind her.

The group of three stood in the tiny foyer for quite some time while Cassie looked around the room. She wanted to get familiar again with the place she had called home so long ago.

The couches and armchair were all covered with mis-matched sheet sets. There was a large wooden coffee table with a glass top that was placed in front of the couch. The dining table to the right of the entryway stood firm with its four wooden dining chairs and table linens placed on top. Cassie took a few more steps around the corner of the foyer and examined the small kitchen. There were boxes all over the countertops and on the floor. The refrigerator as missing, as was the stove. The kitchen seemed so small and sad without her mother standing in it.

Cassie didn’t realize Patrick was standing so close to her until she heard his voice. “Honey, everything all right? Do you want to…”

“Patrick, I’m fine,” Cassie lied. “I’m just looking around.” Their long car ride into town was exhausting, but she wanted to keep going.

“I understand, Honey.” Patrick said softly. He went to place his hand on her shoulder, but thought better of it and said, “Take your time.” The realtor, Samantha, looked at the couple with gentle concern.

“I know you two had a long trip and must be tired. I can leave you with the keys if you’d like to come back later.” She was a petite, sweet woman with a strong southern drawl that Cassie found amusing.

“Thank you, Samantha, but I’ll just be a minute longer. I don’t plan on coming back again.” She felt Patrick’s eyes glaring at her. Yes, she knows that was news to him. And yes, he’ll have to get over it.

“Take your time, sugar. I’ll be outside on the porch if you need me.” With that, she made an about-face in her 4-inch red bottom stilettos, almost did a little curtsy, and stepped out the door while lightly closing the heavy door behind her.

“She has a point,” Patrick sighed. “Maybe we should take the keys and come back tomorrow, when we’re both rested.”

“I told you, I’m not coming back. I just want to take a look around one last time,” she said sternly.

“No, you told Samantha that. Do I not get a say in this anymore?” Patrick’s face started to change from his calm, collected, smooth nature that she fell in love with, to the upset man that she was beginning to see more often. She paused, and then sighed. He was right. This trip to come and sell her childhood home was going to be hard and she needed him. She was putting her man and future marriage, in unstable territory by asking him to drop everything and come with her to California. But now here they were. She wanted so badly just to change her mind and turn around, but the longer that she held onto the memories, the longer she held onto the pain.

“Baby, I’m sorry,” Cassie said softly as she turned around to face him. “I know this is hard on both of us, but there are just so many memories here. Please. I love you and I want you apart of this.” As tears started to form in the corners of her eyes, she placed her hands gently on his broad shoulders. “Baby, we’ve been through so much. I need you. I need us. I want us to be stronger and having this closure will help me get there.”

Patrick sighed as he placed his arms around his fiancé’s waist. She felt cold and was slightly shaking. “Honey, you mean the world to me and I just want what’s best for you,” he assured her. “I love you and I just don’t want to see you hurt again. You know that don’t you?”

As tears streamed down Cassie’s cheeks, she placed her head onto Patrick’s chest. “Losing my mother after everything that’s happened has been so hard,” she sobbed. “The money she left behind is tearing my family apart. I want to just sell this house and get this part of my life over with.” She looked up into his beautiful brown eyes. Patrick coming back into her life was the best thing that happened to her. When her mother passed away last year, he had been right by her side the whole time. Then when her mother’s estate manager called to say he had some big news, nothing but family drama ensued afterwards. Now that she and Patrick were engaged, she felt she could finally get her life back on track.

“I know baby. That twenty-thousand dollars she left you is a lot of money to handle all at once. But I have faith that you’ll to make the right decision with it. Even if your family doesn’t agree.” As Patrick held her tiny frame, he stared back into her eyes and felt so happy in that moment. “I love you, and we can finally start our lives together.”

Cassie smiled as she looked down at the little black Moleskin notebook she had been clutching under her arm that the estate manager had found amongst her mother’s belongings. She opened the book to the first page and re-read her mother’s writing again.

“Dear Cassie,

Please know that I do love you. I’ve always wanted the best for you. This check for $20,000 and the house are both yours to do whatever you like. Consider it your inheritance.

Love,

Mom”

‘I still can’t believe she wrote this two years ago,’ Cassie thought.

At that moment, Samantha walked into the kitchen more giddy than ever waving her cell phone in the air as if to call a truce. “So folks, are we ready to sell us a house?”

Cassie looked into Patrick’s eyes and whispered, “We are.”