The Death Of Loved One

Death is not the most significant loss in life. A tremendous loss is what dies inside us while we live. It is the loss of a loved one or the loss of something that teaches us about the worth of things. While I was seven years old, still a child that needed love and to is taken care of by my parent, especially my mom; she was having a hard time balancing her life between taking care of my grandmother and me. My mom was the most loved child and sibling among the family; she was the one who took care of everything and everyone. At that time, my grandmother was ill. Every day, she had to take me to school, go to work, visit my grandmother in the hospital, come back to pick me up from school and take me home, study with me, take care of everyone in the house, and finally, at night, she would go back to the hospital. I remember that it has been a long time since I had slept in her arms at night. One night as she was getting me ready for bed, she dressed up to go to my grandmother, came and kissed me, but I couldn't sleep. I started crying and told her, why don't you stay with me? I want you to be her? She looked into my eyes and started crying. She told me, look how much you love me and want me to stay with you; it is the same for my mother; she is sick, and I need to be beside her and take care of her. When I think about it, it makes me feel sad that I have made her cry. On a school afternoon, while I was waiting patiently for her to pick me up, I was left alone after everyone had left school. I called her, and she was not picking up. In my thoughts, I was saying that maybe my grandmother had become better, and she was busy taking her home until one of my relatives came to pick me up instead. When we arrived home, it was very crowded.

I saw my dad and went to him. I told him if my grandmother was her since everyone is there; he stood and looked into my eyes and said nothing. I looked in front of me and saw my mom in black clothes; she looked tired, her hair white, her skin pale, tears coming down from her red eyes that didn't sleep all night throughout a month. Then I realized that I lost my grandmother. And now, as I remember those events, I realize how sad it is to lose someone you love, the memories I had with my grandmother, her taking care of every single one of us. Once, after all those years I dreamed about her, I could never forget her voice echoing inside my head, making me cry even when I hear her name from others and when I remember her memories. When I get sad, I always want to visit her grave, and when I do, I always feel like she is watching me, which makes me happy and safe. My mom always told me that even though she was with her that time, but she couldn't take care of her so much because at that time, I was small, and she needed to take care of me too. This makes me feel guilty about making her tired and not being able to take care of her mother the way she wanted, but at the same time, I know that if my grandmother had been her, she would have been so proud of her that she raised a daughter and a mother like her. I learned how losing someone weakens you, and no matter what you do with them, you won't feel like you did enough, and I also learned that it is only the soul that dies, but not the memories.