The day I lost him

The Day I Lost Him

He took his gun out of his belt, pointing it at me, I looked at him, my life flashing in back my own eyes, I should have stayed with father, I should have never trusted a stranger. I should have…. BANG.

I was never one to express feelings. My dad was an alcoholic and my mother was the reason. They were high school sweethearts, they loved each other until the day I was born. Call it destiny but it was as if the second I was born my so-called father threw away his heart, the same moment I entered this world my mother left to go live up above the clouds and took my father's heart with her. So I grew up by myself. I would go to school, come back and pray that my hiding spot was good enough to survive my father's iron fists. Sometimes he couldn't find me and would get happy thinking I had run away, or he would start crying like a maniac and scream out of pain and I would fall asleep after his blood was drowning in enough alcohol. That was my life until I met him, my first and last friend. He heard my father scream once and came to help him, thinking he's in pain, little did he know I was the one screaming but with my screams muffled down by my dad's hand over my mouth, I was suffocating. So he saved me, he knocked out my dad and tended my bruises and wounds, he told me he lived close by and that he would be glad to help me. I thought to myself why would anyone want to help a stranger but I was 10 years old and didn't know what the future was hiding from me so I followed him to his house, head down, my eyes dried, my heart heavy for leaving my house but I knew this was the only thing I could do to help my father with his emotions. He took me in, fed me and bought me new clothes. I started to feel like I belonged somewhere for the first time in my life, he made me feel like I was important to him, little did I know…..

And so I stayed with him, living with him. I was 15 years old. We had an agreement, I would cook and clean and he would buy me food, take care of me and let me stay, I had never had a father figure in my life and having him by my side gave me a sense of security, like god had finally realized I too am human and have emotions. For his 38th birthday, I made him a mug, a small token of appreciation for giving me wings to fly when my dad had broken them. And soon after that, I turned 17, I was good at school and had joined a few sports clubs, unable to make friends I felt hella lonely at school. Word travels fast and everyone knew I was living with a man who was not related to me and so I had no friends, or maybe it was just because I didn't know how to communicate with all of the teenagers my age when all I was trying to do was survive. One day I came back home, he was sitting on the couch, beer in one hand, a piece of paper in another, he looked like he was exhausted, he said he wanted to talk to me, so I smiled and thought maybe he has news about my father and walked as fast as I could to sit next to him on the couch. He told me he has gone bankrupt, that his boss wanted him to pay for the damages he had cost him, I asked him “what damages?” and he said he had cost someone their life, I froze up, my saviour had killed someone. I asked him how he was gonna pay for something like that and he looked at me, his eyes filled with shame, shaky voice, he looked down and said: “ you are the payment, an eye for an eye, a person for a person”. My life fell apart in the back of my head I thought to myself how stupid I must be for trusting him, he showed me the paper he had been holding, in bold written, SOLD. I tried to keep my thoughts from racing, I knew he wasn't a saint but this was too much. I had seen people come in here with guns, blood splatters across their faces, clothes and bare bodies, sometimes people would come here to buy something and gave him money for it, but I was so focused on my so-called “family” that I had not paid attention. I connected the dots, he was working for the underground. I thought to myself I should run away and never return but as if he could read my thoughts he loudly said:” come get her”. Two men, almost twice the size of me came up to me, one held me down and one put a handkerchief over my nose, the stench too strong, made me tear up, but I knew these tears were really because of betrayal. I looked at him, hopeless, he looked down and walked away, I shed a tear, disbelief making my body ache, one tear rolled down, followed by another, then everything went black. I woke up, confused, cold, nobody around me, I was tied up in an empty room. After a few minutes he walked in, bruises all over his face, he saw me awake and held my face, talking like he was in a rush “ I am sorry little girl, but you won't be able to survive this, this is for the best.” he said taking his gun out of his belt, pointing it at me, I looked at him, my life flashing in back my own eyes, I should have stayed with father, I should have never trusted a stranger. I should have…. BANG.

I opened my eyes, he was crying, blood was all over my body but I wasn't in pain, my mother was smiling at me, holding her arms out, waiting for me to hug her, I had seen her in pictures, whenever father was crying he would always mumble that she was beautiful, but I never knew she was this beautiful, I ran to her and hugged her, both laughing, she showered me with kisses, I looked back he was holding my lifeless body and crying. I smiled, I will miss my hero. I looked back at my mother, she held my hand, gave it a squeeze, I was excited to live up above the clouds, to finally feel at home for once and for all.