The Best Way To Convert Dating Into A Relationship

The rules of the dating game are nonexistent. Instead, there are many *unspoken* guidelines but few explicit restrictions. It's a trial-and-error game where everyone is fumbling about in the dark trying to find out how to go forward without ever knowing which move or which direction would get them there. Therefore, it may be quite confused when you start to sense the need to develop a casual relationship into something more serious. There is no way to get there using Google or Mapquest. For the relationship to progress, you must depend on your own judgment and actions.

However, as it takes two to dance, you cannot develop a relationship on your own. If you are convinced that this individual is someone worth investing in, you will need to express your thoughts to them, which may be quite frightening. By saying "take it or leave it," you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position and acknowledging that there is a potential you may lose everything. So where do you come up with the words? When will you distribute them? What say you, sir? These are 11 techniques to gradually develop a casual relationship into something more.

1. Be Specific About Your Intentions

Let them know that you're playing for keeps. Tell them that you're seeking a committed partnership. Make it quite obvious that you are not only seeking anything light.

2. Take Your Time

Avoid rushing onto something more important. Spend some time getting to know one another. Make sure you can reveal the depths of your personality and innermost secrets at a pace that seems comfortable. Make sure you're really letting this individual see every side of your character.

3. Conduct health assessments

We sometimes let our egos rule us and believe we desire things that we don't. Make sure that the goal here is to win someone over, not just a game.

4. Set a Good Example

If you aren't serious about this individual, don't expect them to be either. Treat them with the same respect you would show a boyfriend or girlfriend right away. There is no need to put it off.

5. Make it Visual

Make sure you understand what it will entail before you ask for anything. Consider how this connection will seem in its mature form. Is it possible to do? Would the addition improve your life or make it different?

6. Take Changes Into Account

There will be things expected of you if you take this connection to a more serious level. Are you prepared to accompany them to their office holiday parties and serve as their plus one at a wedding that is eight hours by bus away? Make sure you feel a connection with this individual enough to live their life.

7. Do You Fit In or Not?

Make a decision on your red lines. Does it work for you if this individual wants to maintain the status quo? Is it all or nothing for you, then?

8. Perform A Compatible Check

Do both of you have the same life goals? have similar values? Are your long-term goals in sync? A higher level may not be necessary if this is the case.

9. Make Conversation Time

Make sure this individual takes this discussion seriously if it's essential to you. Choose a time to discuss that works for both of you, such as not at 2 in the morning after you two have partied all night and are already half asleep.

Expert-Approved Advice on Transitioning from a Casual to a Committed Relationship

The key is communication. Here are some advice from experts on how to go from a casual to a committed relationship, if that's what you desire.

Contrary to what your mother may believe, the days of asking your crush to "go steady" are long gone, and just because you had a few dates doesn't mean that you are in a committed relationship. Let's face it: Dating in the 21st century's Wild, Wild West is a little more difficult when transitioning from a casual to a serious relationship.

Even yet, it might be annoying if after a few months of seeing this person at least once a week, you are still unsure of where things stand. What then should you do if you wish to convert this casual pairing into a serious relationship? There isn't a straightforward solution, I'm sorry. According to New York City-based lifestyle and relationship expert Terri Trespicio, "Every individual and relationship is different, and there's no magic word or deed that will compel her or him to commit."

To figure out whether they are on the same page as you—or even on a different planet—you may use these communication strategies to make sure you are being clear about what you want.

How to Change a Relationship From Casual to Committed

Ensure that you desire it.

You decide you desire a committed relationship with this particular someone, but before you take any more action, be sure you really want to make that transition from a casual to a serious one. Trespicio advises taking a step back and asking yourself some hard questions. Do they make me laugh? Do they make me feel better while we're together? When we say goodbye, do I feel good about myself? Are they better for me? What about respect?

You should consider the "J" word: jealousy, in addition to those crucial concerns that you should be asking yourself. You may want to rethink things before formally transitioning from casual dating to a serious relationship if they're behaving very jealous or watching your every move (if at all). Additionally, you shouldn't convince yourself, "Well, they seem like a lovely person and haven't done anything wrong, so I think I should be with them," which is also very crucial.

Why? Trespicio explains, "That's persuading oneself of something that's probably wrong." The bottom line is to be in a committed relationship in which you feel okay without them but even better with them.

Avoid rushing to DTR right away.

Although it may seem paradoxical, it is best to take a moment before starting the DTR topic (also known as the "what are we?" inquiry) when transitioning from casual dating to a committed relationship. According to Trespicio, it's similar to arriving to a party, shutting down the music, turning on the lights, and asking, "Are we all having a nice time here?" Putting an end to the pleasure to 'check in' is a guaranteed way to destroy the romance, she adds, since "a strong relationship is based on momentum."

Of course, this isn't the case for every relationship, however it could be preferable to avoid bringing up this important topic over, say, a dinner gathering with their friends. Additionally, it is much more important to make an effort before popping the question if your possible partner has shown any indications of commitment anxiety. People who are hesitant to commit want to feel in control of the relationship; they don't want to feel like they are being forced into a cage, continues Trespicio.

But if you need more proof that this casual flirtation may be serious, consider the evidence: Do they attempt to see you whenever they have time? Do they seem sincere in their interest in what you have to say? Do they like going out on dates as much as you do? Yes, again, and again? Very good: Enjoy being with them and don't worry about making things "formal" since these are probably signals they're in it for the long haul.

Lightly raise it.

But don't think you have to be in the dark always. Speaking up, advises relationship expert and certified personal coach Jennifer Kelman, L.C.S.W., if it's been about six months and they haven't given any hints about where they see this thing heading. For instance, if you want them to meet your parents, ask them if they'd be interested in coming to dinner, but reassure them that it won't hurt if they're not quite ready for that just yet. Above all, keep the conversation light-hearted and keep the channels of communication open.

Tell them that you're prepared to go from a casual to a committed relationship if you feel certain that you want things to be serious at this time, advises Trespicio. She advises, "Define what commitment means to you without presenting an ultimatum, and explain what type of relationship you desire and why." Allow them to reflect on it for a few weeks if they aren't interested in talking about it. However, if they remain silent when you bring it up again, it may be time to reconsider your relationship. You must choose between wanting someone who is dedicated and wanting this individual, even if he will never be committed, says Trespicio.

Connect through unplugging.

When planning your next date, think outside of dinner and drinks. The ideal date, according to Kelman, "allows you to put the phone down, stop texting, and truly cultivate a deep relationship." Even while eating out might be enjoyable, every so often, branch out a bit. Visit a craft beer festival, see a live band at a dive bar, or challenge them to a mountain bike race, for instance. A new experience may strengthen your link since it provides you with shared experiences to reflect on in the future. This greater connection can aid both parties in transitioning from a "cool and casual" relationship to one that is devoted.

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Additionally, the dates your spouse suggests may also reveal something about their feelings to you. "That's a solid indicator of romance," adds Trespicio, "if they propose going to the Georgia O'Keefe show because they recall you adore her paintings."

Let your unselfish side come through.

Volunteering for a cause you believe in or performing a tiny act of kindness for a complete stranger, like helping an elderly person carry their groceries, may make you seem more serious to a possible spouse. (Also, it is morally correct to carry out nice activities on a regular basis.) According to a recent British research, respondents found long-term partners more desirable for sex if they have altruistic traits. According to Kelman, "giving back to others displays your good heart and honesty."

This does not mean that you should become obsessed with seizing chances and behaving in a certain manner only to impress your spouse. Rather, whether or whether you volunteer every week, a great partner should be able to recognize all of your amazing traits and therefore be open to a committed relationship. However, even the tiniest acts of kindness may lift your spirits (really, studies prove it!) and make your optimistic S.O. swoon uncontrollably.

Keep your and their freedoms intact.

When you find someone whom you believe to be your ideal spouse, it is simple to let some aspects of yourself go. But don't. As Kelman puts it, "Trying to be someone you're not is so apparent." Additionally, and this is crucial, a suitable spouse (and you, too, for that matter) should embrace your personality with all of its peculiarities. Don't pretend to love the Steelers or comprehend abstract art simply because the person you're dating is a fan if you'd rather pull out your own teeth than watch football or visit an art museum.

Are you a puzzle enthusiast? Gardening is your passion. Own it! Maintaining your own hobbies may show how fascinating your life is, with or without your spouse, in addition to emphasizing the importance of being loyal to yourself. You want to be the fast-moving vehicle that people want to get into, not the one that is waiting about in the parking lot, according to Trespicio. Therefore, continue your weekend long runs even if they want to hang out, and don't anticipate them to forgo their regular basketball games in order to see you. According to Kelman, having her own independence and strength is what partners find most attractive. Additionally, you won't prioritize your connection above your sense of self.

Be a good example by being caring.

Nobody likes to be the target of apathy, thus if you like this individual, you should demonstrate your interest in them. Therefore, avoid checking your phone or darting your eyes around the room when out to eat. To be clear, this is the standard your spouse should uphold as well, so pay attention to whether they are displaying the same levels of interest and love for you.

It's standard dating advice, but be sure to express interest in what they have to say and inquire about their lives. People value and desire to be with people that make them feel fantastic, according to Trespicio.

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