The Beginning Part Three

I asked her, "Mommy, who my Daddy? And Where is he?". She looked at me in a way I had never seen before. I’m sure many of you know the expression ‘if looks could kill’, well, this was one of those. She never answered my question either. I remember asking Matt why she would not tell me, and he said because she hates him.

This saddened me too because I really wished life could be better than what we had. I asked her again and again, but never got an answer. Then one day, when I asked, she smacked me across the face and told me never ask again. I can still feel the sting of the pain on my check to this day. It really hurt, and even left a cut.

Of course, after some time, life had gone back to the way it was. Our mother was always locked in her room and Matt would go out. He did not go out everyday as he used too, he was afraid the cops and the CPS lady would come back. It was nice having him home more often. I sure enjoyed it, and so did our sisters. We played with the new toys together, and our mother had men come and go.

Then one day, a man we had never seen before came. He was lean, not very tall, about 5’4” and had shoulder length brown hair. My brother let him in because that is what we were instructed to and told him to go to her room. To us, this was ordinary, and we figured she found a new friend.

How wrong we were. He went to her room and she started screaming and yelling at him. My sisters and I were scared and Matt ushed us all to our bedroom and closed the door and locked it. Then he had us all hide in the closet. He wanted us to be quiet, But Mandy was scared and started to cry. Sadie and I were both rocking her while Rene and Matt talked to her soothingly. Eventually she calmed down, but not soon enough.

The man had broken down our bedroom door and found us huddled in the closet. He bent down and said everything was okay. He said he was not there to hurt anyone, he just wanted to see us. Mandy and Rene were too young to understand this, But Matt, Sadie and I looked at each other then at him. Why did he want to see us?

Our mother came in and she was mad. She said, “10 minutes then you leave.” He started arguing with her again and Matt explained to Sadie and me that he was saying 10 minutes was not enough. He had just gotten out of jail and wished to be with his kids.

“Does that mean he is our Daddy?” Sadie and I asked. Matt had told us maybe. I think he knew, but just did not want to tell us. So, we sat there in the closet, huddled together. Our mother finally left to her room and shut the door.

After a few minutes, He had called from the living room for us to come to him. My sisters and I did not want to, but Matt said to follow behind him and if something bad happens for us to just run out the front door and find a neighbor. So, we followed him.

We entered the room and he looked at Matt as if he knew him and asked for introductions. Matt told him, “these are my little sisters, Heather, Sadie, Rene and Mandy. I am Matt. Who are you?”

“Son, you know who I am!” the man said with a smile. He was missing some teeth, and a few of his teeth were brown. Then the man looked at me, “Heather, I am your dad. Matt knows this already, but you, I haven’t seen since just shortly after you were born.”

I was shocked, I had never met my dad before, and here he was, standing before me. I always wanted a dad but did not think I was going to get one. Sadie asked him if he was her dad too since he was Matt’s and my dad, He said no, He did not know who hers, or Rene's or Mandy’s dad was. “Can you be their dad too?” I remember asking. But his answer was no, he did say he could be around for them like a dad though.

He then asked us if we had eaten and if we wanted to watch a movie with him. We did not know what a movie was, but it sounded fun. We also were hungry; all we had been able to eat that day was two pieces of bread each. Dad went to the kitchen and saw that there was no food in the house. He said he would be back and left.

After two episodes of Smurfs, he had returned, but this time he did not knock, he just walked in with bags. Matt went to go help and dad had brought some food. He made us Grilled cheese and ham sandwiches with tomato soup. It was so good.

Dad showed me that the best way to eat a grilled cheese was to dip it in the soup like it was a cookie being dunked in milk. He was right about that. Soon, all of us were doing it, except for Mandy. She spilt her soup and made a mess, and her grilled cheese sandwich was torn to shreds. It was funny and we all laughed.

After that, we wanted to play, so dad played with the toys and us. He pretended the dolls could talk and taught us how to make believe. It was so much fun. Before we knew it, the day had passed, and night had come. Our mother had been in her room all day again, but she did come out and she got mad at seeing dad still there and was yelling and screaming at him to leave.

I did not want dad to leave so I rushed over to him and wrapped my arms around his leg and sat on his foot. Our mother did not like it one bit and she told me to go to bed, but I did not listen. What had started out scary turned out to be one of the best days ever. Dad was fun and he paid attention to us. It was the first time in a long time that Matt and I did not have to be grownups. We did not have to cook or change diapers or anything. Dad did it all.

It was nice, I just wanted him to stay. Our mother grabbed me off and smacked me like she did the last time I asked who our dad was. Then she told me and my siblings to go to bed. I still refused, and I Hid behind our dads’ leg, clutching his jean leg in a tight fist. Of course, she became angrier, and he turned his head towards me. I looked up at him, and me being so small, he looked like a giant.

He told me it was okay, and that he would return. For now, to listen to her and go to bed. The five of us told him good night and went to our room. I was not ready to lay down, so I laid on the inside of our bedroom door and peeked through the crack of the frame. I was able to see our mother and father through it. I saw him Smack her and then grab her by the throat. I decided I did not want to watch anymore and instead went quietly to bed. Matt asked what I saw, but I did not answer him.

I did not want to believe that our father was capable of hurting someone, especially our mother. I decided to push it from my mind and instead, I made an image of him hugging her. I drowned out the arguing and fighting and turned it into laughter.

I did not want to believe that our father was capable of hurting someone, especially our mother. I decided to push it from my mind and instead, I made an image of him hugging her. I drowned out the arguing and fighting and turned it into laughter.

Dad was gone. I decided to go ahead and wake up my siblings and we started the day with going and looking for something for breakfast. Matt had found eggs and bacon, so he started to cook. While he cooked, I unlocked the front door, in hopes that dad would be back.

The day went on and before we knew it, it was lunch time. Men had come and gone, but none of them was our dad. Then there was a knock on the door. I rushed over to it hoping it was dad, but it was not, It was the CPS lady and two cops again. She asked us if we would let her in.

We did, not knowing any better, after all she had already been there twice before. She whispered something to one of the officers, and they went to our mother’s room. The CPS lady told my siblings and I to stand next to the other officer. I was scared and confused, but I did as I was told. Matt Picked up Mandy and did the same, and Sadie and Rene stood behind Matt hiding. We were all scared.

We then looked at the cop by our mother’s door. He had not announced himself; he was just standing. It looked like he was listening then suddenly, he banged on the door, “THIS IS THE POLICE OPEN UP!” he had shouted. He was the type of man that did not need a megaphone to talk loudly, he had one built in. His voice echoed and bounced off the walls, and it felt like the floor vibrated from his tone.