Hello, My name is Selena Phillips.
I was incarcerated on October 26th, 2015 and I left my son Elijah Phillips in the care and custody of his godmother, Mrs. Priscilla Saunders. On October 27th, 2015, I was informed that Children And Youth Services had taken my son into their custody and placed him with a foster family in York. My son was taken from his school in Columbia, PA and they refused to return him to his godmother because she was not a blood relative.I suffered a panic attack that day and was put in solitary confinement for several days until I was able to see the psychiatrist. After being evaluated and put on medication, I pulled myself together and started going to church and took every class and group they offered.
I read every plan review and document sent to me concerning my son to the best of my ability, but I really could have used some help in understanding everything. I later spoke with the judge during a teleconference and he said that the only way I could get my son back was to go to boot camp. I was not allowed to visit with my son except for once during the whole 16 months that I was incarcerated. I wrote him many letters, poems, short stories and even drew him pictures. Once I got to boot camp and spoke to my counselor about my concerns, she contacted CYS and set up several teleconferences so that I could speak to my son.I wanted him to know that I loved and missed him very much. I went to boot camp and graduated with honors on February 22nd, 2017. I was released to capital pavilion in Harrisburg. CYS wouldn't bring my son to see me there either. The program director, Mr. Kwazee and my counselor Ms. Logan denied every request that I put in to go visit with my son in Lancaster. They tried to blame it on Parole, but even they said that I had no restrictions. I left that halfway house and went to visit my son against the rules because I was in jeopardy of losing my visits. I was then relocated to another halfway house in Steelton called Promise Place, where they let me go see my son and I have never missed a visit with him. I started going to counseling at T.W Ponessa, got on the medicine that I needed, participated in a bonding assessment and even had a psych eval for CYS. I was told that in order to move forward with the plan to get my son back, I had to take parenting classes through them as well. I took 2 different parenting classes while I was incarcerated and graduated from both. I gave Mr. Matt Krebs with CYS my certificates of completion for those classes, but he told me that none of the classes I took while I was incarcerated will count because CYS has to refer me. Mr. Krebs never referred me to take the parenting classes. He never helped me to do anything I was asked to do. I struggled for a little while to find stable housing, but I’m in a stable home now. My court appointed attorney hasn't been much help either. I had no idea what the process was or even what was best for me to do in my situation. I didn't hear from her but once while I was incarcerated and that was to let me know that she was my attorney and when the next hearing was. I have never missed a court date, but I also was never given an opportunity to speak or say anything on my own behalf. My attorney kept telling me that I wasn't going to get anymore time to get my son back and that I should give him a “gift” and let him stay where he is. I told her that I was going to fight for my son and she said very aggressively "you're going to lose!" She told me that she and the Judge spoke with my son and he said he has to “follow his heart” and stay with the foster family, where he is stable and has other siblings to play with. She said if I fight and lose my parental rights that Cys will take any other children I decide to have from the hospital. After being coerced at every hearing and meeting with her, I eventually signed over my rights and Mr. Krebs signed as a witness. She told me and even said in court that the foster family agreed to do a post adoption agreement with me and that I would still get to see my son. The last time I saw him was on Halloween.
I fell into a deep state of depression after that and the 30 days to appeal passed by quickly. By the Time I pulled myself together and read through the paperwork, it was too late to appeal the decision. I got my son Christmas, Birthday and Easter gifts and couldn't even give them to him. I've been calling people to find out what's going on with the post adoption agreement, but I'm getting no answers. I don't know what else to do. Cys has also failed to reach out to everyone that I have given as a kinship resource for my son. One Aunt in St. Louis, MO was denied for some reason and one Aunt in Tacoma, WA passed away during the process. Elijah’s godmother has also applied to be a resource for him, but CYS hasn’t followed up with her either. Cys is now saying that the foster family doesn't want to do a post adoption agreement. They refuse to let me give him gifts, letters or to even see him now.I went by the house yesterday and there is a for sale sign up. I believe the family has moved and I have no idea where.
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Creating my healthy hair journey
My hair journey started when I was a little girl, around age 3. I was laying on my bed, which happened to be right next to the baseboard heater. My hair was so long, that it was resting on the heater as I slept. I was startled awake by my mother and grandmother patting my head to get the fire out. My hair was severely burned by the baseboard heater, which were really hot and unsafe. My hair was short and I looked like a little boy, so I was very self conscious about it. As I got a little older, my hair wasn’t growing as fast or as healthy as my sister’s. She used to call me bald headed, because she knew it would hurt my feelings and make me cry. My mom tried all sorts of remedies, salves and oils to help make my hair grow back. Sulfur 8, Main and Tail, Pink Oil Moisturizer and others were a main staple in our bathroom cabinets. She took me to the salon and I got a Jerry Curl when I was about 8 years old. And they had the nerve to give me a tail, like a little boy! I had to sleep with a shower cap on , so sleeping was complicated with the sound of the plastic as I tossed and turned. When I woke up my tail was always dry and my pillow case and face was oily. Jerry Curl juice was the worst and thank God, it was short lived. Next, my mom started putting relaxer or perm in my hair to straighten it. I don’t know if my scalp was super sensitive, but it felt like acid was eating at my brain as I waited until she was ready to rinse it out. It was pure torture! Then on Saturday nights, I had the absolute pleasure of being scalp scalded with hot grease and the hot comb straight off of the stove. I’m surprised that the back of my ears aren’t permanently black from all of the times she burned me! I do admit that the end result was beautiful, but it was also very painful. My mom would put cute little balls, bows and barrets in my hair with triangle parts, twists and all kinds of nice styles. Once I graduated 5th grade, I noticed that the girls weren’t wearing their hair like that anymore so I begged to do my own hair. My mom finally let me, so I rocked a ponytail and that was my hairstyle for years. I began getting my hair braided and having extensions put in when I was a in 10th grade. Me again with my sensitive scalp, feeling like my brain was being braided, instead of my hair! But I learned to squeeze my butt cheeks together when the pain got tough, so nobody thought I was tenderheaded. That is a nightmare for a hair artist. No matter what, it was better than a perm so I didn’t cry. I rocked the perm as an adult, being able to rinse it out when I felt the sizzle starting. I also discovered that my hair grade wasn’t even that nappy, so 5-10 minutes was plenty of time to let it sit. I rocked that ponytail and sometimes braids for years until my hair journey led me to cut it all off in October of 2019. I wanted to go natural and begin locking my hair. It has taken me 2 years to get my hair healthy and for it to lock the way I want it. I have random parts because, I feel like that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Naturally parted. I have short locks now. To make them grow faster, I add hair extensions. I learned how to do that by watching videos on YouTube. Getting your hair braided at the shops are very expensive and people just don’t have that kind of money to spend these days. I start the process by separating the hair into two Sections. The hair I use comes pre-separated, so I just pull it apart to get the twists to the same size as my own hair. I wrap the hair around the lock, creating a box braid. Once my own hair is covered by the braid, I begin to twist the remaining two strands of hair to the ends. And that’s how I add hair extensions to my locs. It usually takes me a few days to finish my whole head. I leave the twists in for several months, in order to give my hair time to lock properly. Then I take them down, which takes a few days because my arms get very tired. Once they are all out, I wash my locs several times and condition them as well. I ring them out and pat them dry with a big towel. Then, I let them air dry. Once they dry, I use natural moisturizer such as tea tree oil. And that’s the whole process. My locks are now a little past my ears in length, but maybe longer once I retwist them.
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