“Talking to a Child About Death: Moments Filled with Love and Sadness”

The Sad News

It was an ordinary evening. We were sitting together as a family, watching the news after dinner. Suddenly, a headline appeared on the screen: “One of Turkey’s most beloved artists, Ferdi Tayfur, has passed away.” At that moment, a storm broke within me. I had just learned that Ferdi Tayfur, whose voice was an irreplaceable part of my childhood, was no longer with us. My eyes welled up, and I felt an indescribable sadness.

Sitting next to me, my little nephew was observing me closely. His eyes were fixed on mine with full attention.

“Super Bulldog, why are you crying?” he asked, his voice filled with both concern and curiosity. His innocent question moved me even more. Yet, I knew I had to protect his delicate world.

Super Bulldog’s Answer

I took a deep breath and held his small hands. “Ferdi Tayfur sang songs that made me very happy when I was a child,” I said. My nephew was looking at me intently, with curiosity shining in his eyes. “But he was very old, and his body needed rest. That’s why he is no longer with us. However, we will always remember him. When we listen to his songs, we will keep his beautiful memories alive.”

“Where did he go?” he asked. His question caught me off guard, but I tried to remain calm. “He has fallen into an eternal sleep,” I explained. “Now he’s resting peacefully in a place of serenity. We’ll continue to keep him alive through his songs and our memories.”

This time, he opened his eyes wide and asked excitedly, “An eternal sleep? But how is that possible? Won’t he wake up?”

His question touched me deeply. “Yes,” I said, “it’s a sleep from which we don’t wake up. But even if people don’t wake up, their memories stay with us. The joy we feel when we listen to Ferdi Tayfur’s songs is the greatest gift he left us.”

“So, we are still using his gifts, right?” he asked. I carefully responded again, “Yes, that’s exactly right. As long as we remember our loved ones, they stay with us.”

He nodded, seeming to understand everything. “Then we should listen to Ferdi Uncle’s songs more often, okay, Super Bulldog?” he added. His innocent and sweet suggestion made me both happy and emotional.

Talking to Children About Death

Explaining death to a child requires sensitivity and patience. Here are some basic principles to keep in mind during this process:

Use Simple and Honest Language: Choose clear and age-appropriate language. For example, you might say, “Life is a journey, and sometimes this journey comes to an end.” For younger children, you could explain, “Our bodies are like machines, and sometimes they stop working,” using simple terms.

Give Concrete Examples: Use examples from nature to show that death is a natural process. For instance, “Do you remember the flower in the garden that wilted last week? It became part of the soil and will help other plants grow,” or, “When our pet Minnoş passed away, we were very sad, but we still cherish her beautiful memories.”

Validate Their Feelings: Try to understand and acknowledge the child’s emotions. For example, “I know you will miss Uncle Ferdi. Missing someone is a very normal feeling, and I will miss him too,” can help them feel understood.

Be Patient: Children may ask many questions about things they don’t understand, like “When does death happen?” or “Will I die too?” Respond with honesty and reassurance, such as, “Everyone dies someday, but usually people pass away when they are very old or sick.”

Discuss Spirituality: Share your beliefs about the spiritual side of death. For instance, “In our faith, we believe that people go to heaven after they die and live peacefully there,” and expand based on their curiosity.

The Story’s Conclusion

My conversation with my nephew taught me a lot. Talking about death was difficult, but with the right approach, I was able to comfort both myself and him. That night, we played Ferdi Tayfur’s “Ben de Özledim Ben de.” As the song started, the atmosphere in the room changed. My nephew closed his eyes and listened carefully to the lyrics:

“Ben de özledim, ben de. Resmin var şu an elimde.

Sana koşmak isterim. Derman yok dizlerimde.”

At that moment, a smile appeared on his face. “Ferdi Uncle is still making us happy,” he said, gently swaying his hands to the song’s melody. I joined him, and together, we cherished Ferdi Tayfur’s memory through his music, creating a moment we would never forget.

Thank You

Dear parents, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my story. Touching the hearts of our children helps them grow into more conscious individuals in the future. If you found this article helpful, please like and share it to reach more parents. Together, we can raise stronger and more compassionate individuals. Remember, every journey begins with a single step.

With love,

Super Bulldog 🐾 🐾 🐾