She is Fierce

She's not an actress, nor is she famous. She lives simply and with no regrets. She hasn't won a Nobel Prize or even climbed a mountain but, she is honest, compassionate, fun, dynamic, and a loving mother and wife.

She is my sister, Sherry.

Growing up in upper middle class suburbia made our early years quite comfortable. We had a nice house, great neighbors, vacations, and spent weekends as a family playing board games together. We rode our bikes, chased the ice cream truck, and caught fireflies on warm summer nights.

The world changed for all of us; my brother, sister and I when our parents decided to divorce. Our mother left us, and for months we had no idea where she was. It was the mid 1970's and divorce was not that common where we lived at the time, neither was seeing a man take on the role of the primary caretaker.

Not only did our inner world crumble but, the outside world became distant and judgmental. We were labeled a "broken family," and some of our friends were no longer allowed to play with us.

During this very trying time for our entire family, my sister (at the tender age of 11) took on the role of mother and caretaker the best way she knew how. She became invaluable to my father as she helped us get ready for school, did chores, picked up after us, and even helped with meals.

Sherry was fierce.

She was too young to be taking on the responsibilities of an adult but, like a lioness, she did what was needed to be done and protected her tribe.

One day, as I was walking home from school with a couple of friends I was approached by two boys from another school who started teasing me, calling me a "latch-key child," and making fun of me for "coming from a broken home."

My friends stood there in disbelief when out of nowhere, my sister pushed through the small crowd, threw her books on the ground, and challenged the bully to say "one more thing!" That unkind child turned tail and ran off with his friend while Sherry picked up her books, and continued her journey home with her friends. I stood there proud and smiling.

This was the day I began to look up to her.

A few years passed and my brother and I flourished under the care and guidance of our father, and Sherry. As I became a "young woman," I realized that I was not blessed to have a mother, aunt or grandmother present or any female influence that could guide me through the next phase of my life. It was my sister who stepped up and educated me on the "joys of menstruation," boys, relationships and growing pains. She was only 14.

We still fought like siblings but, Sherry never wavered in her duty to family and always emphasized the importance of us "sticking together."

Time passed, and my father met a new person to fill the void in his heart. It's never easy for anyone to ride the waves of a blended family but, we tried. It was obvious from the beginning that this new woman would challenge my sister with every move so, it wasn't long before Sherry was unceremoniously removed from the household, and sent to go live with the mother who abandoned us.

Although hurt and betrayed, I admired my sister for her strength and dignity as she was ousted from the only home she had ever known, at 15 years of age.

As the weeks and months wore on, I learned from Sherry that family means everything as she continually made an effort and fought to spend time with my brother and I. Though far from each other physically, we remained close in our hearts and minds.

As the years progressed, I watched my sister through several stages of happiness and grief. Her strength, her determination, and even her work ethic made ME want to be a stronger woman. At 16 years of age, she was paying rent, paying bills and living life as a responsible adult.

Through it all, she inspired me to work hard through my own personal issues, to see the light through the darkness, and to never stop believing that something wonderful was going to happen.

I saw my sister grow into an even stronger, more resilient version of herself as she faced many challenges. She was abandoned, once more, by someone she loved when her husband suddenly left her, and her one year old son. With no money and no job, she did not sink into a dark abyss and blame the world for her woes, no.

Sherry climbed as high as she could go, working, taking care of her son, making a good life for herself, staying positive, and setting even higher goals for herself.

She was fierce.

In no time, I was truly amazed at Sherry's progression in the work force, her skill at motherhood, here entrepreneurship, and the respect she gained within her community. Everyone seemed to know my sister, and liked her!

When my own life took a turn and I became a single mom with 4 children, it was Sherry's struggle that motivated me to be the best I could be and rise above! It was her journey that inspired me to be the best mother I could be. It was her example that showed me that anything is possible, and I am stronger than I think.

Neither one of us had a female figure in our lives to guide us, encourage us, set an example for us or even provide for us but, we had each other. We are stronger, happier, more compassionate women because we believed in each other.

My sister is fierce...and now, so am I.

Peace and love...