Sex and Parenthood

My husband and I started off hot and heavy. The night we met, I went home with him and did things I had never done before. From then on, we were always all over each other in every capacity. But having a baby changed that.

When we first moved in together, every room in the house was an adventure and trust that we explored it all. Even years into our relationship, we were always the couple everyone knew had a good sex life. And let’s be clear, we were not being safe and were doing what it takes to get pregnant. So when I fell pregnant in 2023, we weren’t surprised.

The beginning was fun, we were in love and we made a baby!! How exciting it all was. I was pregnant but not showing and not gaining weight so it all felt normal. Speed it up a few months, and I’m uncomfortable and honestly it freaked me out when she kicked and we were having sex sorry! It felt like she knew what was happening and I couldn’t get the thought of his penis being so close to her, once again I’m sorry!!

So I thought when I gave birth it would all go back to normal. Hahah how cute right. Now he comes home from work and he’s exhausted and I had the baby all day so I’m exhausted. He also loads the dishwasher wrong, didn’t wash the bottles, and didn’t cut the oranges the way she likes. So I’m livid with him, why can’t you help me why can’t you clean why can’t you hold her she’s screaming!

And with that, our sex life died. We went weeks without having sex. If not months. We are getting better as she gets older and sleeps more. But truly, I’m exhausted at the end of the day and I don’t feel like I can be my frisky self anymore. I also see myself like a mother now, is it bad if I’m choked and spanked? Does it make me a trashy mom? These are the thoughts in the my head while my husband is trying to get me in the mood.

I used to be so hot and skinny and when we would have sex he would put me in front of the mirror so I could watch myself. Now I scream at the thought of having a light on. I know I’m still hot (sorry again) but I don’t feel as hot as I was. How do I act sexy if I don’t feel sexy?

I once said “I’m always happy when it’s over” in the sense I’m always glad we ended up doing it. But he obviously took it the wrong way which put another bump in our sex life. I guess I don’t know what to do, I want to have sex with my husband and I want to feel beautiful.

I hope this is something other women feel. Well no I don’t because it suck’s but you get the idea. I used to be so much better. And as I write this, I realize I’m rambling and ranting and I don’t even know. I guess I’m just hoping one person reads this and feels the same way or has some advice for me. My husband doesn’t seem to have any problems doing the deed, and he is so sweet to me. I want to be that vibrant 22 year old again who would leave the party early to sleep with her man. Does it get better?

But I ask, do you ever get it back?