Secrets of YOU

I mean, WOW! As a mother of 10 children, you look damned good woman!

Our life wasn’t always easy but you always made nothing out of something. You are STUBBORN in your own right and all of your children have inherited this trait. It was not a talent you taught us but it was demonstrated through your actions. Daddy wasn’t there but because of you I don’t feel that void like so many others do. Maybe it was partly due to the fact that your father was a veteran that you didn’t have the opportunity to meet until you were an adult. It didn’t help that your mother moved you and your sister with your grandparents until your adult years.

Because of your intestinal fortitude to thrive in uncomfortable situations such as that led to the strength you instilled in us. You turned your most hurtful memories into talents and confidence that you instilled into your children. There’s not one of us that could ever say that you didn’t play an instrumental role in our lives.

Life has thrown you curve balls time and time again, such as the feeling of abandonment, abuse, extreme loss, and failures not caused by your own. Mother, you still managed to earn your Nursing Degree and spend over 40 years helping the elderly enjoy their last days when you felt no one else would fight for them. Even after suffering burns to over 50 percent of your body because of our house fire after trying to save my three year old brother. You both survived that fire but a part of you was left there. AGAIN, you turned it into perseverance. We were all split off and sent to various family members and shelters while we waited for you to be discharged after two months from the hospital. I remember when all of your children were reunited at the assistance shelter. We had little to no money but YOU still made our Christmas an enjoyable one. That was just one example of your strength and determination. No one was going to hurt or neglect your children.

That’s who YOU are! You fight for those that cannot or will not fight for themselves. Unequivocally, your heart is pure with love and all things that are good. Don’t get me wrong, there’s the loose cannon side of you but it’s only necessary that you show it when it’s appropriate.

YOU could always make something out of nothing! When my shoes were falling apart from the soles and I had a thick rubber band holding it together YOU went and bought me a cheap pair of shoes from Walmart that were in much better condition than my old Nikes. I’m still grateful for your sacrifices. You stretched your pay checks to give us life you felt was normal. It shielded us in many ways while sparing no fact about the hard truths of this thing we call life. That’s why I’ll go out of my way to ensure YOU have what you need and what you could ever want if it’s within my reach. YOU didn’t want me to join the military out of fear that I could go off to war and be killed but it NEVER stopped you from welcoming me home after three rotations to both Iraq and Afghanistan. Not to mention, you drove over 12 hours just to see me graduate bootcamp and again for my prestigious Warrant Officer graduation. You may not always agree with my decisions but you ALWAYS try to find ways to understand my choice before offering an opinion. I don’t feel judged my you because I know it’s coming from a place of unfiltered and undeniable love.

I can remember the time our bus driver, Ms. Jessie kicked our little sister, Quiesha off of the bus. The next day she left the other three of us standing at the bus stop in shock. That afternoon you marched all 6 feet and 225 pounds on our bus and TOLD the bus driver she was wrong and unprofessional in a manner that didn’t scream ghetto but she knew you meant business as you towered over her frame. From that day forward, Ms. Jessie didn’t dare treat us like we were unwanted passengers. In fact, she became pleasant which led to a respectable relationship all year long up until we graduated.

Let’s not stop there wonder woman! You practically told me that I was in labor with my first child based off of a passive phone conversation. The same happen with my second because I felt no pain. It was you search my panty liner to tell me that I had lost my mush plug. It was also you who took the opportunity to move in with me to care for my young children due to my husband’s job taking him over 10 hours from me. I’ve never experienced the help that you provide me with now. You were in the labor and delivery room when I pushed out my 8 pound 1 ounce chunky baby boy, Josiah. Now, you are his “Gremin” as he calls you. SUPER CUTE! I love the relationship you have with my little ones which is another reason I love you even deeper if that’s even possible.

When I found out you suffered two mini strokes, it terrified me and I wanted someone or something to blame someone for the stress that led you to that point. Because your heart is gold, it has physically hurt you to a point where you were hospitalized a second time from a stroke. That stroke didn’t change a thing about you but your dyer need to ensure you are there for those that you love.

You love hard! That’s what I love about you! Your tenacity, ambition, and approval is often sought after.

I’m writing this letter to you because I think that you are badass in your own right! I love that you don’t care what time a day it is you are going to answer my many questions and ease my various doubts about my passion. Even when I couldn’t get anyone but my best friend to read my work, YOU continued to cheer me on and encourage me to push myself further. YOU ask those hard questions that others wouldn’t dare. YOU have no issues in calling me out if I’m doubting myself or feel as if I’m crumbling. I fight it because you wouldn’t allow me to settle for anything other than I was less than I capable of achieving.

What makes you different? YOU always show up! YOU are proud of the woman I have become and you let me know it every chance you get. YOU take the time with my children even when I see that you’re tired just so I can catch a break. YOU are a phenomenal human being that I would go to war in back for. YOU are truly a jewel in its rarest form. YOU are fierce! I NEVER want you to lose your light because it would only dim mine because of your absence. It’s because of YOU that I am who I desire to be. I love you always into infinity!