Secrets from the Porch

Collins knew that Pops left each grandchild a box with items he kept for each one of them to be opened after his death. He found his underneath his grandparents’ with the others and walked to the front porch and sat. The sound of the screen door slamming or the chipped paint on the porch rails didn’t bother him today. Today they brought him peace and if felt like there was still life in the empty house. Pops could have lived anywhere but his neighbors were "his people" and he wouldn't leave them. "I have your favorites here" he heard as he stretched himself over the porch steps. Leslie walked quickly towards him. "It does me good to see you here" she said handing him a paper lunch bag. "I can't believe they are both gone now. Things aren't going to be the same." Collins knew that both his grandparents' passing was devastating to her. She sat next to him holding her head in her hands. "I keep telling myself it'll get easier but when? It was hard when Gloria died but now its final that they're both gone." "I don't know" was all he knew to say. "I don't know. I wish I did." It had only been a month since Pops passed but it seemed like yesterday. They both knew it would take some time. The sound of Collins opening the paper bag broke the cloudy silence. "You always know how to brighten my day" he said as he pulled out a fried bologna and onion sandwich wrapped in waxed paper. Leslie always added mustard and bacon just for him. He set aside the can of soda on the porch behind him. "I'll keep making them as long as you keep coming back" she playfully jabbed him with her elbow driving home her point. She had been making them for him since he was very young. "I guess I'll keep coming back then." His response brought a look of relief and she heard what she needed to. "Don't leave without saying goodbye now. You know you were his favorite."

He watched Leslie leave and Collins swept the crumbs from his jeans and focused on the box. It was just a bit larger than a shoe box with a plastic lid. On top were photos Collins had never seen. There was one of him and Pops sitting across from each at Ewell's Sunrise Diner. Pops Oscar became Pops Oscah here. The owner, Brenton Davis, was his lifelong friend and could never get out the "r" in Oscar and Oscah became what everyone affectionately called him. They were both looking out the large window at their favorite booth. He flipped it over and it was dated 2008. They met every Saturday until Pops fell ill. Memories flooded his mind and he couldn't move for a while. He picked up a stack of pictures and one fell away. It was a picture of a woman about twenty, maybe. He wasn't sure. It was black and white and she was pretty but not beautiful. It wasn't Grandma Gloria yet felt familiar. The date was faded and there wasn't a name on the back of it.

Silver duct tape on the inside of the cover caught his attention. Pops was still here in spirit and Collins laughed out loud. It felt good to laugh. He needed to laugh today. Pops always kept a stash of at least one dozen rolls of duct tape. He firmly believed that every home needed a solid stash "just in case." It was his solution to every home repair issue. It took a few tries to pull it off and a black spiral notebook fell to the ground. He started flipping through the pages. It was Pops's handwriting talking about war time, and about when his kids and grandkids were born. He wrote about birthdays, graduations and wedding days and how lucky he was to have Gloria for all those years. He turned a few pages and his eyes grew misty as he started reading about Charlie. Charlie was Pops's first cousin who grew up with him like a brother after his parents died. "I tried to find some answers but never could. It's been years since Pearl Harbor and we'll never know. Charlie was on the Oklahoma when it was bombed and it's said that he probably never knew what hit him." Collins took a deep breath and a long drink from the soda that Leslie brought him. He heard about Charlie and knew that his brutal death took a toll on Pops and his family. He continued reading "We were never the same. Grief became an unwanted companion who never left." Collins stood and walked to the old maple tree that shadowed the side of Pops house, sat in the shade and continued reading.

He turned a few blank pages when his eyes landed on "I never got over her. I was in the army, stationed in Norway then and Lee was marrying someone else. I sent a letter pleading that she waits for me. I had six months left and then I was returning home. She didn't." Collins tried to picture Pops writing these words by the image was cloudy. "She always said I ruined her wedding day. She received my letter the morning of her wedding but it was too late. Everything was set to go; she couldn't back out could she? The words seem to jump off the page to him. "I loved Lee but loved Gloria too. We never talked about Lee but sometimes Gloria would look at me with heaviness in her eyes that said she knew. We had a good marriage but we had our moments. I couldn't have found anyone better than Gloria but still sometimes wonder. Some folks don't find one real love and I've had two." Who was Lee?

"And there it is." He pulled out his first baseball glove Pops bought him. He must have been seven and it amazed him that he once had hands that small. Collins thought he lost it but was kept safe all these years and the relief of finding it was overwhelming. Now that he had it he couldn't let it go and the feel of it brought waves of memories he thought were gone. The last thing he found was an old small envelope from First Oak Bank, Box 25. Inside was a key. He accompanied Pops to do his banking over the years and knew it well. It was still early in the afternoon and the sky was clear so he walked the mile long distance. It would give him time to clear his head. He tried to walk fast but his steps kept getting caught in his thoughts.

The bank wasn't busy but everyone seemed occupied. The bank manager, Tom, took a double take when Collins walked in and they walked to the bank vault. He kept fumbling with the key while he was looking for Box 25 but found it way in the back. It held bulky envelopes with Pops' collections about the Pearl Harbor attack. He must have spent countless hours collecting information over the years and many pages were yellowed, faded and fragile with time. He found Pops' dog tags from World War II and underneath was stacks of money banded together by denomination. Hundreds, fifties and twenties. Collins counted $20,000.00. He counted it again and again. Underneath the money he found an envelope with a note reading "Collins, you'll know what to do with this. Love, Pops." He wished he had a chair because his knees felt like they were about to buckle and found a wall to brace himself against.

Collins took the dog tags with him, and locked up the papers about Pearl Harbor. He needed to know they were safe. The cash needed to be protected as well so he set up an account before leaving. He made the walk back to Pops’ house but couldn't remember walking back. He walked to the porch then to his truck then back on the porch again. "Are you okay?" broke into his thoughts. He never heard Leslie walk up. "I will be. It's been a long day but I have a question. I have a lot of questions, maybe you can help?" She nodded while he opened the box and pulled out the picture of the woman. "Do you know who this is?" He handed her the picture. Her eyes grew wide and her voice was so low he had to listen closely. "It's me from a very long time ago. I haven't seen this in years. Oscah kept it?" Collins nodded and asked if she knew Lee. Leslie took a visible deep breath. "I'm Lee."

"I'm Lee" she repeated. “My name is Leslie Lee but everyone called me Lee. We moved here not knowing anyone at that time. You were about eight. I was surprised to see Oscah again. It just happened this way but I'm so glad it did. Why are you asking?" Collins showed her what Pops had written and she teared up. "I loved him but never like Gloria. They were both good to me when my both my husbands died, it was too hard to leave. When your grandmother died Oscah and I stayed good friends." She looked away and asked, "Are you mad?" "No" he quickly answered before he could catch himself. "Nothing to be mad about but I need your help. It'll be another secret. Can you help me with something....for Pops?" Her face brightened. "Anything." Collins explained how Pops thought the world of his neighbors. He didn't tell her about the cash but asked her what she knew about the neighborhood. She explained that it hurt Pops to see how his people struggled to get by. It was one of the things Gloria loved about him. He always wanted this world to be a better place. He would sometimes put money in the kids' accounts at school so they could have lunch like the other kids. Other times he paid electric bills. The neighborhood kids never did without on birthdays and Christmas. "He always did it for Charlie. It's what he would have done." In spite of his own struggles Pops always managed to do this privately. "Sounds just like him" Collins responded. They walked around the neighborhood together and she talked about the families living there. "You know Pops always said we needed to leave our part of the world better than we find it." Lee's eyes lit up. "He did. Oscah always enjoyed people and made the best of things but was always tormented by the loss of Charlie. That was hard on him and Gloria. This is why you were always his favorite. He said you understood him.” She sat back against the porch ledge. "We all used to spend hours on this porch. It holds many, many memories. If it could talk the stories it could tell. “She ran her hand along the chipped railing. “It’ll make it like they’re still here. I’d like that." She started pulling at a piece of chipped paint. “This porch could use another story. It will be a happy ending to welcome whoever lives here next.