Relationship Goals by Michael Todd

I'll be honest—when I first heard about this book, I was skeptical. Another relationship book? Really? Especially one that started as a viral sermon series? I mean, how many times can we reinvent the wheel when it comes to love and dating advice? But after scrolling through countless social media posts, seeing friends share quotes from it, and watching it consistently rank on bestseller lists, my curiosity got the better of me.

Now, several months later, I can confidently say this: sometimes viral content becomes viral for all the right reasons. This masterpiece isn't just another collection of relationship platitudes wrapped in trendy packaging. It's a genuinely fresh take on love, dating, and marriage that speaks directly to our generation's unique challenges and opportunities.

Why This Book Hit Different

Let me paint you a picture of why this work resonated so deeply with millions of people. We're living in an era where dating apps have turned romance into a swipe-right game, where social media creates unrealistic expectations about relationships, and where many of us are navigating love without the traditional frameworks our parents and grandparents relied on.

The author, a millennial pastor who understands both the spiritual and practical sides of modern relationships, doesn't shy away from these realities. Instead, he dives headfirst into the messy, complicated world of contemporary dating and marriage with a combination of biblical wisdom, practical advice, and refreshingly honest storytelling.

What struck me immediately was how the author refuses to sanitize or oversimplify the challenges we face. He talks openly about sex, addresses the complexities of modern dating culture, and acknowledges that many of us are trying to figure out love in a world that looks very different from the one our parents knew.

The Foundation: Purpose Before Partnership

One of the most powerful concepts in this book is the idea that we need to understand our individual purpose before we can successfully build a partnership. This isn't the typical "you need to love yourself first" advice that we've all heard a million times. Instead, the author presents a much more nuanced understanding of what it means to be whole as an individual.

I remember reading the chapter about becoming the person you're looking for, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. How many times had I found myself in relationships where I was essentially asking my partner to complete me, to fill voids that I hadn't even acknowledged existed? The author challenges readers to do the hard work of personal development not as a prerequisite for finding love, but as a foundation for building something meaningful and lasting.

This concept completely shifted how I approached dating. Instead of looking for someone to make me happy, I started focusing on becoming someone who could contribute to a partnership from a place of strength and completeness. The difference in the quality of my relationships was immediate and dramatic.

Dating in the Digital Age: Real Talk

One of the things I appreciate most about this masterpiece is how it addresses the elephant in the room: modern dating is weird, and we all know it. The author doesn't pretend that biblical principles can be applied to contemporary relationships without acknowledging how much the landscape has changed.

He talks about social media's impact on relationships, the challenge of maintaining intimacy in a world of constant distraction, and the way dating apps have both expanded our options and made it harder to commit to one person. But instead of just complaining about these changes, he offers practical strategies for navigating them successfully.

The section on "dating with intention" was particularly eye-opening for me. The author distinguishes between dating for entertainment and dating for evaluation—a concept that completely changed how I approached new relationships. Instead of just "going with the flow" and seeing what happened, I learned to be more intentional about understanding what I was looking for and communicating that clearly from the beginning.

The Sex Conversation (Yes, Really)

Let me address something that sets this book apart from many other relationship guides: the author doesn't avoid talking about sex. In fact, he dedicates significant portions of the book to discussing physical intimacy, sexual compatibility, and the role of sex in healthy relationships.

What I found refreshing was his approach to this topic. He doesn't shame people for their past choices or present desires, but he also doesn't ignore the emotional and spiritual dimensions of physical intimacy. Instead, he presents a framework for thinking about sex that acknowledges both its power and its potential for either building or destroying relationships.

The chapter on sexual compatibility was particularly insightful. The author argues that sexual chemistry, while important, isn't the same as sexual compatibility, and that true compatibility requires communication, vulnerability, and mutual respect. This distinction helped me understand why some of my past relationships had felt passionate but unsustainable, while others had the potential for long-term growth and satisfaction.

Marriage as Partnership, Not Perfection

As someone who's been in serious relationships but isn't married yet, I found the sections on marriage preparation incredibly valuable. The author doesn't present marriage as the ultimate goal or the solution to all relationship problems. Instead, he frames it as a partnership between two imperfect people who are committed to growing together.

One concept that particularly resonated with me was his discussion of "covenant versus contract" thinking. He explains how contract thinking approaches marriage as a conditional agreement—"I'll do this if you do that"—while covenant thinking approaches it as an unconditional commitment to each other's growth and well-being.

This shift in perspective has influenced how I think about commitment in all my relationships, not just romantic ones. It's helped me understand the difference between relationships that are based on mutual benefit and those that are based on genuine love and commitment.

The Social Media Reality Check

One of the most timely aspects of this book is its discussion of social media's impact on relationships. The author doesn't just tell us to delete our apps and pretend the digital world doesn't exist. Instead, he offers practical strategies for maintaining healthy relationships in an age of constant connectivity and comparison.

The section on "highlight reel versus behind the scenes" was particularly powerful. He talks about how social media encourages us to present perfected versions of our relationships, which creates unrealistic expectations and constant comparison. But instead of just criticizing social media, he offers practical advice for using these platforms in ways that actually strengthen rather than undermine our relationships.

I started implementing some of his suggestions, like being more intentional about what I share online and focusing on creating real memories rather than just Instagram-worthy moments. The impact on my relationship satisfaction was immediate and noticeable.

The Community Factor

What makes this book particularly powerful is its emphasis on community and accountability. The author argues that healthy relationships don't exist in isolation—they require a supportive community of friends, family, and mentors who can offer guidance, encouragement, and honest feedback.

This was a game-changer for me because I had always thought of my relationships as primarily between me and my partner. But the author helped me understand that isolation is actually dangerous for relationships. When we don't have trusted friends who can speak truth into our lives, we're more likely to make poor decisions and less likely to recognize unhealthy patterns.

The practical advice about building and maintaining a supportive community was incredibly helpful. The author offers specific strategies for finding mentors, building meaningful friendships, and creating accountability structures that actually work.

What Actually Works (And What Doesn't)

After implementing many of the ideas in this masterpiece, I can tell you what actually works and what feels more theoretical than practical. The concepts around purpose, intentionality, and community are game-changers that have genuinely improved my relationships and my approach to dating.

The practical exercises and discussion questions at the end of each chapter are also incredibly valuable. They're not just busy work—they're designed to help you apply the concepts to your specific situation and actually create change in your life.

However, I will say that some of the advice works better for people who are already in healthy relationships or who have a strong support system. If you're dealing with more serious relationship issues like abuse, addiction, or severe mental health challenges, this book might not provide the level of specialized guidance you need.

The Transformation Process

I want to be honest about what it's like to actually implement these ideas. It's not always easy or comfortable. Some of the concepts require you to completely rethink your assumptions about love, dating, and marriage. There were moments when I had to confront some uncomfortable truths about my own patterns and motivations.

But here's what I discovered: the discomfort is worth it. When you start approaching relationships with the intentionality and purpose that the author describes, everything changes. You stop settling for relationships that are merely okay and start building something that's actually meaningful and sustainable.

The transformation isn't just about your romantic relationships, either. The principles in this book have improved my friendships, my family relationships, and even my professional relationships. When you understand your purpose and learn to communicate with intention and authenticity, it affects every area of your life.

Who This Book Is Really For

This masterpiece is particularly powerful for millennials and Gen Z readers who are navigating love in the digital age. If you're tired of dating apps that feel like games, social media that makes you question your relationship, or cultural messages about love that feel shallow and unsatisfying, this book offers a compelling alternative.

It's also valuable for people who are looking for relationship advice that acknowledges both the spiritual and practical dimensions of love. You don't have to be religious to benefit from this book, but you do need to be open to the idea that healthy relationships require intentionality, commitment, and personal growth.

The Bottom Line

After reading and implementing the ideas in this book, I can honestly say it's changed how I think about love, dating, and relationships. It's not a quick fix or a magic formula—it's a comprehensive framework for building relationships that are both fulfilling and sustainable.

This masterpiece succeeds because it meets people where they are while challenging them to grow. It acknowledges the unique challenges of modern dating while offering timeless principles that actually work. Most importantly, it presents a vision of love that's both realistic and inspiring—something that's increasingly rare in our cynical age.

If you're ready to move beyond surface-level dating and start building something real, this book is an investment in your future happiness. Just be prepared: it might challenge everything you thought you knew about love, but in the best possible