Recently Loosing My Dad

Grief is what many people feel when dealing with a loss. Grief comes in a variety of stages and can last for an undetermined amount if time. When dealing with sadness, time can make it a little easier for some, but others may never recover. I am currently grieving myself, my dad passed away February 22, 2021. This loss has me extremely heartbroken; I feel my heart is in a million different pieces. I decided to research grief and have found that I am going through several stages.

Shock and denial is the first stage of grief. I definitely experienced this when my dad passed. I know I seen it with my own eyes, but I just couldn’t bring myself to believe it. It wasn’t until the funeral that it sank in he wasn’t coming back. Saying goodbye and letting him go was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.

Pain is the second stage of grief. I am still dealing with this stage, and I know it is going to last for a long time. Like I said earlier, I feel my heart is just torn apart. The loss of a parent is very difficult, this is the second time I am going through this. My mother passed away on July 5, 1998 and I still feel the pain from losing her. It’s especially hard on Mother’s Day, her birthday and Christmas, as Christmas was her favorite holiday.

Anger is the third stage of grief. Yes, I am angry! I’m not angry at my dad, I know he is no longer suffering and is at peace now. I’m angry that I lost him and that he is no longer here for me to visit him or call him on the phone just to hear his voice. I am angry that I have lost both of my parents.

Depression is the fourth stage of grief. I do get depressed when I think of my dad passing. He was my hero, my rock. It has been so recent that I lost him and my feelings are all over the place. There are times when I just don’t know how to deal. I lock myself in my room where I am alone and it’s quiet. Most of the time I don’t want company and I don’t want to be around anyone, I just want to be alone.

The upward turn is the fifth stage of grief. I’m not there yet. I feel I am still in a big rut that I will not be able to get myself out of. Family close to me keeps saying time will heal things, but at this moment, I just don’t know.

Reconstruction and working through it is the sixth stage of grief. I’m not at this stage yet either. I know people deal with loss in their own way, and some heal faster than others, but that’s not me. I’m a very emotional person and I was very close to my dad, so loosing him has been devastating.

Acceptance is the seventh stage of grief. I’m not even close to accepting loosing my dad. It’s so fresh and painful. I hope to one day be able to accept it like I finally did several years after my mom passed, but I know it won’t be anytime soon.

People grieve for many different reasons, loss of a job, the end of a long relationship, an illness or a loss. No matter the reason, they may find themselves going through the different stages of grief. If you or someone you know is dealing with grief, please just be patient with them, this is a process that can last a very long time.