Parents — Stop Planting Hatred In Your Children’s Hearts!

I was talking with one of my nieces a week ago after wondering what was going on. I encouraged her to buy a house as quickly as possible because she was in a position to change history and slow down the cycle of poverty. I put her in contact with someone who could help her and was wondering why she hadn’t started something. She had a father who cared and stuck around, taking responsibility for all of his children. He made himself available to them and for them. He didn’t hide or run away like some fathers I know did. He was there adhering to his responsibilities.

Women loved that, so he fathered many children.

Living in an unstable developing country, many of us are aware of the hell our world shares, use common sense, and plan our lives early. I often drilled into her how important it is to slow down the cycle of poverty and give her children a better life than she had. She had to raise herself with the help of a busy father. She had two children, and she understood life and was aware that her children deserved a better life. She was aware that her children had hopes and dreams. She and their father were responsible for ensuring that their dreams came true.

She was a better mother to her children.

She has been working for a while and just finished her degree in business management. She was busy at work, and the only time she got was after the funeral of one of our family members.

She explained why she was lagging and slacking off, “Auntie, after Daddy died, I just lost motion and interest.”

“I am so sorry, but you must go on. I know you love him but find positive ways to keep his happy memories alive,” I encouraged her. She had a good father who cared for all of his children even though they had different mothers. I often wished he were my father.

Then she shocked me, “No, Auntie. He often said I would amount to nothing like my mother, so I used his words of damnation to encourage and motivate myself. He would often criticize me, saying how worthless my mother was. His words of criticism of how horrible my mother was were the tools that kept me focused and on track. Now that he is gone, I have nothing to motivate me.”

Shock paralyzed me briefly, and then I grabbed control of my pain, speaking, “What! How cruel. I thought your father was good.”

“He is auntie, but Mom gave him reason to say what he did,” she said, her heart leaking with regret.

I encouraged her while demanding that she stay focused and offered to help her however I could. As a homeowner, I had access to a lot of information.

My mother was cruel to us. Of her six children, three fled. Three stayed. The three that stayed imitated her cruelty towards their children. They unconsciously allowed history to repeat itself, putting their children through the same hell they endured. Between the three that stayed, there were thirteen children.

History is being repeated in grandchildren, too.

The three that left stopped the poverty cycle and gave their children a better life.

My mother had children who couldn’t love her, and my sisters had children who couldn’t love them either.

When a mother doesn’t help her children, leaving them to the mercy of life, fate, and destiny, the little they fought life to get for themselves must first go to their children. Then, the mother will have to wait because poverty is cruel to the ones who don’t plan. — Annelise Lords

Thousands of mothers in my culture can’t get help from their children. The Maintenance Act can force children to provide for their parents. But these parents must be parents first to their children, not in name only.

Humans unknowingly continue a cycle of poverty, hatred, and cruelty, using children as the carriers. Children carry everything in the pain they are forced to endure.

Many never recover, allowing hatred to stay where it’s planted, in hearts, minds, souls, intentions, actions, choices, and decisions.

Cruelty, especially to children, must stop! Now! Humans have planted hatred in children that grow with them and feed our world.

We must find a way to stop planting hatred.

Don’t we care about our children anymore?

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoy it.