Parenting Tips and Tricks: A Way For Your Child To Open Up

Admit it, you have lied to your parents before - one way or another. Now, you're looking for a way to break the chain, to let your child know that you're here not to scold but to understand. It's not easy to communicate effectively to a toddler, teenager, or adolescent.

What can you do about it? Why is it hard for a child to tell their parents everything? Well, ask yourself that question. Why couldn't you tell your parents about your frustrations at school, getting drunk at a party until 3 in the morning, and the list goes on

Do you think this is because you think they wouldn't comprehend your situation? Or perhaps there isn't a solid basis of openness and trust? Well, you'll learn more in a short while.

Communication's Vitality

The capacity to give and receive information is communication. People are unable to function without communication since it allows them to feel a part of a community. The family is the most significant group in this situation. Why?

A youngster is first exposed to their family. A system that explains appropriate and inappropriate behaviour to a person while also determining their needs and wants. You could also say that a family is similar to a soccer team, with the parents serving as the coach and the kids as the players.

"Mom, I have to go to the basketball event on Friday", Samantha said while she clasps her hands together and gulps nervously.

In the scenario, you can identify two types of communication - Verbal and Non-verbal.

Verbal focuses on what you say. Samantha told her mom about an event on a Friday night, and that's what she wants her mom to understand.

Non-verbal is the action you show. When Samantha was asking her mom's approval, she showed nervousness through her gestures. What does this mean? You may interpret it as, she's nervous because her mom might not give approval or she must be hiding something.

Which of these two do you believe to be the most effective? Nonverbal communication might reveal a person's true self, according to studies. Although non-verbal communication can be controlled, it often gives away how someone is actually feeling.

How to communicate effectively?

Effective communication shouldn't be strained, it's better to be free flowing with no rules and limitations. There are 5 steps on communicating effectively with your children.

Make it a habit

Just like norms, it's important to teach your child the behaviors you want them to bring when they're old enough. Before you take action, think if it'll be good for the long term.

Making a habit of sitting down and conversing with your child is a great practice to effective communication. How can you create this simple activity? You and your family can eat dinner while telling about your day. Or maybe, go on weekly night outs with your child.

Be Interested

Children may refrain from telling stories because they believe you would find them boring. Put your phone away and stare at them with excited curiosity to show that you are interested.

The ideal scenario is when you inquire about their day when they arrive home. Maybe you should make sure to listen attention and remember what they say if they do tell you something.

Stop shaming

Comparing your child with other children isn't the best choice. Not only are you making your child feel he/she isn't "good enough" for you, but it always creates a boundary for the child to open up.

Instead of saying, "Kate can fold and fix her bed all the time, why can't you?". You should say, "Amanda, once you become an adult you'd need to fix your own bed. What better way to practice then now!".

Avoid threats

Are you the type of parent who says, "You better not be out drinking and partying just because your curfew is at 12 midnight! If I find out, you'll be grounded." Well, it's normal to warn your child but this isn't the best way to do it.

An alternative is by letting your child be aware on the dangers of going out unsupervised with children their age.

Assist and guide

Being a parent does not entail that your only obligation is to provide for the necessities and education of your children. You must also consider how to direct your child in the appropriate direction.

According to studies, when one feels threatened, it is human tendency to erect a wall. When you reprimand your child, you should take extra care.

What you can do is offer solutions to problems. By doing this, your child will not only sense that his or her parents care but will also feel that they are willing to lend a hand. even with just chores or homework.

Children's Character

A child expresses in words and shows in action, but is often conflicting. They cover up what they really want to say. Why? Parents tend to assume the worst on their children. "No! It's too dangerous. What if... ", that's why children choose to be wary on what to tell their parents.

So, why do children hide their feelings and thoughts instead of telling their parents? If you have went through this yourself, thought of why you did the same to your parents, then you must know the answer!

The child may:

Be frightened you won't be able to understand.

Children may think once they tell you about their worries and feelings, what they'll receive is a loud laugh or scolding from you. This is a sign of avoiding embarrassment.

Believe you know how it feels.

Some kids realize that you may have been through the same dilemma. Once they tell you, you may know too much about how it feels and all they want to avoid is making you worried.

Want to handle it alone.

There are kids who wants to be independent, believes they don't need an adult for help. Also, to prove they're capable of choosing an "adult-like" decision.

There are four types of children:

Go with the flow

a youngster who doesn't decide when a problem isn't there. It's equivalent to spending an hour studying before a test.

Competitor-worthy

The child is motivated by competition because they enjoy the thrill of winning or debating. These kids choose to participate in competitions or just aim for top test scores.

slow to learn

Those who are unable to comprehend an individual's stages of development. They might need some time to adjust, but once they do, things will be simpler for them. Never force kids to learn something they aren't yet ready for.

Mixed

A child can be a mixed of everything. Sometimes, a child can be good in math but hates science.

How to create a strong bond

Creating a strong bond isn't done overnight. Most parents resort to dominant parenting which makes children feel uncomfortable. A strong bond is present when both parent and child cares to understand/consider each other's feelings.

Five principles to a strong parent-child relationship:

Acceptance

"It's alright, you can start all over again. But this time, I'll help you learn the topic that way you won't fail on the next test!", Andi's mom exclaimed.

Accept this fact, your child is unique comparing them to another isn't applicable. Each child is capable of learning, it's just how fast or slow it is. Some parents tell their children, "When I was your age, I could do... " stop saying those remarks.

Time

"Something's bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?"

It's crucial to spend time with your child. Having a strong bond means being able to be with your child. Even if you're working all day, give a few minutes of your time. A strong bond won't bloom if you don't talk to each other.

Trust

Doubting your child means you won't give them much freedom. If you believe you're doing the right act, think again. Trust is vital in any type of relationship, without it you'll be restless and paranoid.

Your child is aware when you doubt them. What they'll do is to assure you and not tell everything.

Encourage

"Fear won't get you anywhere, it's better to try and fail than not try at all."

A parent needs to be there in times when their child doesn't believe in themselves. Play the part of a cheerleader, keep motivating and reasoning out the positive factors of failing.

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