Parenting from the Perspective of an Intuitive Life Coach

As parents, how much space do we give our children to make decisions for themselves? How old do our children have to be until we stop assuming that we know what’s best for them? Do our children feel empowered by our parenting style? There are several developmental stages through which we guide our children based on what we think is best. It seems most fitting for us to serve as their primary guides during their earlier years when they depend on us for survival. But at what point do we allow them to rely on their built-in guidance system to navigate through life?

Recall a personal experience when you followed your intuition. Your inner guidance led you to being at the perfect place at the perfect time. As a result, you met your life partner, landed your ideal job, or maybe found your dream home. Remarkable, wasn’t it? Unlike trends, our intuition is always constant and unwavering. It’s a feeling, an extraordinary inner knowing that uniquely steers us.

While most of us would agree that our guidance stems from good intentions, at the heart of our parenting style is our belief system. Our beliefs have been influenced by our culture and tradition, by society, and of course by our personal experiences. If we examine these beliefs, we are likely to find some underlying fears that affect our decision-making. Fears that perhaps held us back and kept us from following our own intuition and living an inspired life. Is it even possible to isolate these fears when providing well-intended guidance or making the “best” decisions for our children? I have kids. I understand first-hand the instinct that drives us to protect our children when we perceive that a decision they are making may be harmful or non-beneficial to their emotional, mental, and/or physical well-being. Where do we draw the line?

Let’s stop to consider that life is a sequence of personal experiences with many, many opportunities to learn to trust our inner guidance. Yet, It’s not uncommon to hear parents questioning their children’s decisions – even into adulthood. They use phrases like, “you’re making a mistake” without recognizing the energetic weight of their phraseology. This is not just a bold, hasty statement. It’s a light dimmer. When these words are uttered, the beautiful and vibrant yellow solar plexus becomes dull. In time, it continues to lose its liveliness. Anecdotally, we then see patterns of low self-confidence and low personal power.

This discussion begs the question, what is a “mistake” anyway? Is it not getting the outcome we wanted or getting the result we expected but realizing that we had a change of heart? Personally, I am forever grateful to have had parents who allowed me to create my own path and follow my own intuition from a very young age. They were always supportive and stood by me regardless of the outcome of my decisions. I was raised within a support system that placed the value and emphasis on my own personal unfolding.

Most of us would say that we would do anything for our kids. So, are we willing to trust that our children innately know what is best for them? Do we acknowledge that they too have an inner being that is designed to help them navigate through their life as they make their own path? We can read through a plethora of parenting handbooks and take copious notes of peer-reviewed journals on parenting psychology that have been published. But at the end of the day and regardless of the parenting style that we’ve chosen to employ, do our children have space to make decisions for themselves?