Owlelluia

My Mom died 3 months ago. It was so unexpected. She went to bed one night and never woke up. It was a blow for all of us but mostly for my 8 year old daughter who was so close to her Momom. They would share great moments together. You could feel a real connection between those two. Ever since that dreary day, Alicia, my beautiful jovial daughter was not the same. She did not play anymore, nor did a smile painted her tiny face.

I didn't know what to do. She lost interest in school and closed herself off from the outside world, staying in her room by herself.

Spring came and Alicia still had no interest going outside or seeing her friends. I tried everything, from baking her favourite cookies to inviting her out to the lake nearby, to a movie night with popcorn. Nothing worked.

One sunny morning, Alicia refused to go to school. She had tears in her eyes.

"What's going on baby?" I asked.

"I dreamt of Momom. She was so far away. There was a body of water so clear and so blue between us and I could not get to her". She sobbed in my arms, I felt helpless as we were both in mourning and I could feel her pain that touched mine.

Alicia looked at me with her eggshaped green eyes: "I don't want to go to school, please Mom, I just can't."

"Ok Alicia, but if you stay, you have to come for a walk by the lake with me. It's a beautiful day and we both need to take some fresh air."

Her little shaky voice answered: "ok".

Around noon, we headed out to the lake, a picinic basket on one hand and Alicia's tiny hand in the other. No words were spoken between us.

As soon as we arrived, Alicia ran to her favourite spot under a gigantic maple tree where she and my mom would spend time calling it their secret rendez vous.

I spread out a blanket on the ground under the tree and we both sat there ingesting the beauty of the scenery that was offered to us. The lake carpeted by the rays of the sun lightning millions of diamonds, the mountains, the clear blue sky and the warm wind caressing our faces.

Coming from above was a hissing sound in a very high note. We both looked around.

"What's that sound?" Alicia asked.

"I don't know". I said.

Alicia stood up and followed the hissing sound. Suddenly, "mom look" and she pointed up on one of the branches over her head.

2 darks eyes surrounded by feathers looked down at us. "What is it?" she asked.

"It looks like an owl. Look at his heart shaped face, it's a barn owl" I was startled by its beauty but mostly surprised by its presence in this part of the Country, much less in the day time.

The owl just stared at us and started hooting. We noticed he had a mouse between is talons. "He has a mouse Mom, look". My daughter was mesmerized by this beautiful creature coming from nowhere.

The barn owl let go of the mouse and it fell in front of us and ran away surely happy to still be alive. Alicia could not stop staring at him intrigued and fascinated at the same time.

The owl started moving from left to right non-stop as if he was dancing. Alicia turned to me: "he is dancing like Momom". She joined in doing the same moves, laughing. First laugh in months. I began doing the same moves, smiling, and our new friend went on and on.

Suddenly, the owl opened his wings and descended close to Alicia, flew over her head and we watched in awe as this rare bird flew over the lake out of sight.

We both sat down on the blanket. I said: "That was exciting, wasn't it? Do you remember what Momom used to say?"

We both said it toghether: "That there are always signs, communications between our world and the unseen". We laughed again knowing so many times my Mom would reiterate her beliefs.

I went on: "How many times did she say that. I was a little girl and she would see a deer and say 'be soft with yourself' or a horse and 'use your power well'. She always said that life talks to us all the time in many ways if only we listened.

My dad, your grand father, would always call her his 'lucky Penny' and she would always answer 'Allelluia' and she would give him a hug. Because of him, she loved her name Penny even more. When he passed away before you were born, she would find pennies here and there and would pick them up and say: 'I love you too Bob' to my father. It helped her mourn his passing.

"I miss her so much Mom" Alicia was finally opening up. "I miss her too baby, I miss her too".

"Then, Mom, what does the owl mean?"

"Owl are very nocturnal, they are rarely seen in the daytime. I believe Momom sent this barn owl for you". I thought to myself 'for me too'.

"He danced just like she did' a question look on her face.

"Owls are creatures that hoot to get your attention. We both made the sound at the same time: HOOHOOHOOHOO. I gave her a hug smiling.

"They represent wisdom, transformation. They symbolize death, meaning new beginnings. They are messengers from the spirit world. I think Momom is telling us that she in a new beginning but always there with us. That her love for you is so grand that it reaches you from beyond.

I do believe she is showing up to tell you that she is always with you, to go on, to live, to listen.

Did you notice its face, it is heart shaped. She is loving you always. Owls see in the dark so even if you can't see her anymore, she can see you, be with you in your heart.

"And Mom, the mouse"

"OMG yes, Kiki the mouse". My mom gifted Alicia at birth with a furry stuffed mouse which she slept with ever since.

"This is Momom for sure telling you to be happy again Alicia. It would be nice to remember the good times with her then trying to forget her. We have so many good memories, let's keep them alive".

"Why don't we shout as hard as we can that we love her. There's nobody around. Maybe it will helps us feel the love again instead of always being sad".

Alicia nodded her head. "One, two three: "IIIIIII LOOOOOVE YOUUUU". It felt good.

That day changed our sadness into joy.

Kiki the mouse became more important to Alicia. She carried it around with her wherever she went.

Many years have passed and every time I see Alicia in her thoughts or withdrawn, I hoot 'HOOHOOHOOHOO' and we smile at each other remembering my mother who visited us through a barn owl, and gave us back our own wings to fly through life again.

Dana Laze