Ornamental Memories

“Fight!” screamed a kid nearby, so loud that Maggie flinched to cover her ears. She peered to her left to a see a crowd starting to form around the two boys, wrestling on the concrete. They were in the year above her and were always starting fights around the school, so she turned back and continued picking at her sandwich. “Dad should know by now that I hate pickles” she thought.

The day seemed to drag on but she would rather be sitting by herself at school than being at home with her father. She barely took her steady eyes off her book during lunchtime. She was so fixated that her short black hair blowing in her face was a mere distraction. The feeling of living in an imaginary world allowed her to forget about all her worries for a slight moment. Right now, she was reading one of her mother’s books titled Little Women. She remembered her mother telling her about how she could read it once she was a bit older. She already felt too old for her age to be living life without her mother.

Maggie had just turned fifteen and it was the first time she didn’t have a birthday party. Since her mother passed, her friends started acting distant and she suspected it was because she wasn’t as happy as she used to be. There were times when they noticed her bruises and treated her differently. She didn’t mind being alone, but there were times when she wished she had a friend. Just someone to talk to when things were tough. That used to be her mum.

The school day was finally over and Maggie felt drained, so she decided to take the bus instead of walking. There was a sensation of reluctance as she unlocked the front door to the old, run-down townhouse. Her body instantly seemed heavier. She gripped her frail hands to the dry wooden stair rail and dragged herself to the top. Her room was much more inviting than the rest of the forsaken house. It smelt of lavender and was covered in animal posters, snake skins and feathers. Her pride and joy was her collection of ceramic bird ornaments, with the white barn owl being her most treasured. It was given to her by her mother just before she died.

Maggie laid stiff on her bed, staring blankly at the roof. Her green eyes glistened as she imagined her mum’s voice asking how school was. Nobody did that anymore and she wouldn’t know what to say even if they did. Tears began to pour down her cheeks, but she refused to wipe them away. “What’s the point?” She thought.

Suddenly she heard the front door slam. Her father was never home early. Something wasn’t right. She quickly crawled under her blankets and pretended to be asleep. The sound of thumping footsteps growing louder made her clench her eyes tight.

“Margaret!” He growled as he blew the door wide open. Maggie jumped up but didn’t lock eyes with him.

“You didn’t clean the kitchen!” The overwhelming smell of bourbon wafted off him to across the room. He gave Maggie a prolonged, withering stare and she lowered her eyes. She could feel his eyes still on her and his heavy breathing made her cower.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you!” He screamed with his fists clenched.

Her chest began to tighten while she raised her eyes to meet his. He walked towards her slowly with his huge frame towering over her. She raised her knees to her chin to feel less threatened.

“Why didn’t you clean the kitchen like I told you to?!” He yelled nastily, almost baring teeth. Maggie was paralysed, unable to speak. Her pulse was beating so hard she could hear it.

“You’re useless!” He snapped and struck Maggie clear against the face. The sheer force caused her to let out a yelp. She desperately raised her skinny arms around her head preparing for another hit, while her face began to feel immense burning. The overbearing feeling of distress and pain finally lead to her uncontrollable sobbing. She faintly heard the door slam over the sound of her crying. She then laid there sobbing until she had no energy left in her.

Maggie was starving but was too frightened to leave her room. She had barely eaten in the last three days with the pantry and fridge being bare. The attempt of distracting herself from the hunger was no longer working as her stomach grumbles grew painful. She needed to eat. Cautiously, she crept down the stairs to see her dad doing his usual nightly routine. Watching tv with an empty bottle by his side. The snoring was the sign for the go ahead and she dashed to the kitchen.

While her eyes continued scanning the room, she eagerly grabbed the wallet off the benchtop. She immediately noticed the unusual weight and thickness of it. She opened it, revealing a huge stash of hundred-dollar bills. Maggie had taken money from her father many times in order to eat, but there was never more than thirty dollars. She knew something wasn’t right and it made her stomach churn. She was still for a moment as a million different ideas and thoughts ran through her mind. Suddenly she had it. There was nothing left for her here. It was time to go.

She started packing as quickly and quietly as she could. Her father was normally heavily sedated at this point, although the thought of losing this chance frightened her more than anything. She struggled thinking clearly with her heart beating so fast, but this was the best she had felt in a long time knowing she could finally escape. But where would she go?

Maggie started frantically grabbing everything on her bed side table, knocking her beloved owl ornament to the ground. The smash made her heart drop and her body freeze. It wasn’t just priceless to her, but she was also filled with fear that the noise would wake up her father. She dropped to her knees, picking up the shattered pieces with her eyes fogging up. At this moment, it felt like her heart was just as broken, but she decided this was not the time. She needed to focus. After wiping her eyes, she started organising her handbag. There were some cousins in Sydney she could possibly visit.

While checking over everything in her bag, something on the floor caught her eye. It was sticking out of the broken owl’s head. Confused, she knelt down and pulled the questionable material out of the hollow ceramic. It was a photograph of her mother and an unknown man with their arms around each other. The man looked familiar somehow with his black, curly hair and kind eyes. On the back, there was a handwritten address. 47 Birdwood Ave, Umina Beach. She remembered her mum grew up in that town. Maybe he could help her.

Maggie wasn’t sure why, but she had a strong inkling that this was her lead. She planned on catching the 12pm bus to Umina Beach that her dad used to catch for work to Sydney. Scanning around her room for one final time gave her a sense of melancholy, but overall relief. While she slowly crept passed her father, she wondered if she should leave him a note. He should know why she left, she thought. Once she closed the front door behind her, she never looked back.

The bus ride was longer than six hours long and she knew she should sleep, although she couldn’t remember the last time she felt this alive. Watching out the window, she could see the moon shedding white light onto the trees. Their silhouettes flew by so quickly that it made her feel like she was flying herself. Once her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she could see a white owl gliding alongside her. It felt like magic. A wave of peace flowed over her and her eyelids drew heavy.

She woke to the radiant sun rays shining through her window, into her eyes. For a brief moment, she had forgotten where she was. Peering out, she noticed signs of Gosford along the streets. It wasn’t long until she reached her destination. She felt a small surge of nervousness come as she thought of what she would say to the man in the photograph. She didn’t even know his name.

She hopped off the bus to stand in front of the large, charming two-story house, suddenly feeling so small. The lovely pathway welcomed her up to the door, but would she would be welcomed or not? Before she could overthink further, she knocked heavily on the grand door. Momentarily, the man answered the door. He wore a dark grey dressing gown and he had far more wrinkles than in the photo. His eyebrows furrowed then let out a gasp. Suddenly he wrapped his arms around her and embraced her tightly.

Maggie was startled by this, but gently began hugging him back. He let go, keeping his hands rested on her shoulders. He smiled at her with gleaming eyes and said, “I’ve been waiting for this day”.

“Who... are you?” She asked, squinting her eyes and tilting her head.

He knelt down to Maggie, looked into her eyes and softly spoke “I’m your dad, Maggie”.

It felt as if the world spun around her. It was the most unexpected statement, yet it also surprisingly seemed to make sense to her. Like all the little pieces seemed to finally fit together. She stayed silent as she didn’t feel like right now was the time to question things. He kindly invited her into his house for breakfast and they reminisced together over warm memories of her mother. She felt so glad to have someone to talk to about her with such adoration. She barely knew this man, but he radiated with feelings of love and safety.

Her real father’s name was Andrew. He called the others from upstairs to come join them for breakfast and introduced his friendly wife, son and daughter to her. Discreetly, he explained how he dated her mother before Darryl and her mother wanted Darryl to raise Maggie as his own. Before Maggie was born, they made the agreement that her mother would tell her when she was old enough. Then Maggie could make the decision to reach out to him or not.

Maggie was shocked by all this new information. Obviously, Andrew didn’t know that her mother was dead. A lump in her throat started to form. She had to tell him. The words just slipped out and it was the first time she had said them. Andrew raised his hand to his mouth and lowered his head. There was a minute of silence then he put his arm around Maggie.

“I’m so sorry Maggie. Your mum was such a beautiful person. I just want you to know that you are welcome to stay here for as long as you want. I am here now”. She hugged him tight and didn’t want to let go.

Maggie laid on the bed in the spare room and let out a big sigh. It was a big day. A good day, she’d say. She started smiling to herself to the thought of a promising future. As she was getting ready for bed, she glanced out the window and to her amazement, she saw a white barn owl staring at her and couldn’t help but wonder if it was the one from before. They gazed into each other’s eyes for a long moment and she smiled again. She finally felt like she was home.