On our way

Some days I wonder of all the what ifs, the could have been, and everything in between. I know I can NOT be the only one. especially in the days of corona and the 2020s to come. well lets start with an intro to me. Then well work on the rest of getting to the dirty 30, with my journey of multiple diagnosis and traumas that got us to this stage in our path. one we never thought we would reach.

My name for now is cat, I am a 29 year old born in may of 1991, I had a semi normal household (mom, dad, brother, sister and pets galore). we were not poor, we were not rich to be honest we were pretty average and that was me .. average. I am a mother to three littles, a son whom is three as well as twin girls whom are 6. In the proceedings they may be referred to but not limited to my littles, turds, nuggets, gremlins, but in the end they are my reason to live.

When I think of myself the key words that come to mind are currently unemployed, mother and artistic. I sometimes scroll through any social media only to feel a bit disappointed in myself. either my patience was broken one to many times, I didn't give one of the three littles more attention than the rest ? they ate enough right? i worry if they know they are loved ? if there's more i could be doing ? i see pictures of amazingly decorated homes, photo shoots with matching outfits. personalized bento lunch box's. is this what its all about ? Will this be what they remember?

I am a mother, I do my best everyday. my catch phrases consist of .. I'm trying, taking it one day at a time. and the best for last John Lennon quote "everything will be okay in the end, if its not okay than its not the end" i would like to share my journey of self discovery and self healing in a honest forum, where hopefully I can reach others with like minds ... so we know we are not alone on this journey we all call motherhood. or even just life.

some of my material may not be your cup of tea and I understand that, but i am telling my story. my truth. beginning to end. from what I can remember and id like you to join me. mystery trauma and more. love your f*ed up mom friend. pouring from my cup to yours, stay safe healthy and as sane as possible in these trying times.

Sincerly yours , cat

thanks for staying i hope to see you again !!!