Never Underestimate An Old Lady Who Rides a Motorcycle!

"We laid the motorcycle down!" I recall the horror I felt as I heard these words over the phone in Hawaii, thousands of miles away from my 70-year old Mom in Florida. After my initial shock, I hurriedly asked her if she was okay. "Yes, we were going down the street and something popped off the motorcycle. We circled around the block to see what it was, and we were going so slow that we fell over!" I did not know whether to laugh or cry!

We moved back to the mainland from Hawaii some years later. Every time I was with Mom and they were on the bike, I secretly said a prayer for their safety. At the same time, I was totally amazed at my Mom's spunk and courage. I trusted her fellow as he had raced motorcycles when he was young, and I had much confidence in his handling them. Motorcycle riding is not for me, but I so respected my Mom.

They belonged to a motorcycle club - no, not like Hell's Angels! More like retirees riding Goldwing touring bikes, venturing out on the weekends, and going on trips together. One year they were elected Couple of the Year by the club. Another, they honored Mom by buying her a pair of great white chaps and a vest! But her favorite jacket was one of two Betty Boop jackets she owned. Mom was the oldest person in the club, although she did not like for them to recognize her that way. She never ACTED like the oldest and tried to live it down. She was an early adopter of all technology, and the Betty Boop picture was her Facebook profile.

The club sometimes went on long trips. One Summer they rode from Central Florida to Alabama and back. They mostly rode on the weekends. Day trips to remote places to eat and see sites were favorite adventures. Occasionally, there were bike rallies and festivals in cities around Florida.

When Mom was 87, the club planned a trip to the Goldwing WingDing, a convention in Tennessee in the mountains. Mom, her friend, and several other couples had rented this great chalet in the mountains for the event. She talked about it for months. It was scheduled for the July 4th weekend.

In late April, she was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. She had to have immediate surgery. I went with her to doctor's appointments and agonized along with her when the diagnosis was Stage 4. I knew how serious that was. But, brave woman she was she smiled through it all and faced the surgery with determination. She had a great doctor, Peter Blumencranz, MD, FACS, who pioneered a new procedure for preserving the functioning of the lymph nodes after surgery. Mom's angels must have been looking out for her when she got him. The surgery went very well and Mom not only survived but thrived.

For the first few weeks after surgery, there are several procedures that a she had to do to make sure that the surgical wounds heal properly. I faithfully went to her house daily to assist her in this process. She faced all of it with her typical determination. And it showed me first-hand the ordeal that survivors have to face.

About six weeks later, Mom had her last post-surgery check-up. She was really anxious about their planned trip for July 4th. She was so happy when the doctor told her that she had healed great and could do anything she wanted! That was all she needed to hear. She could go on her trip!

A few days before they were scheduled to leave, I got a phone call from her. She was anxious and a little upset. "They won't fit into the saddlebag!" It seems that her prosthesis in their carrying case would not fit into the motorcycle saddlebag! "I'm going to go to JoAnn's, get me some foam and sculpt me a pair!" That is exactly what she did. She went to the craft store, purchased raw foam, and sculpted a pair of prosthesis that became her favorite ones to wear. She was pleased with herself because "if it rains and I get wet, these won't be ruined and I don't know about those fancy ones".

The night before she left I went over to wish them well and say goodbye before their trip. I thought she would be excited and happy, but instead, she was moping around and grumbling. Her response when I questioned her was "there's a hot tub, and I don't have a bathing suit with those "things" in them".

I recalled that the day she left the hospital they gave her a chemise with fluffy little inserts. It impressed me. The nurse had said that is their usual procedure as it keeps women from being so self-conscious when they leave different than when they came. Recalling that chemise, I asked Mom to bring me her regular bathing suit and I whip-stitched the inserts into the bra part of the suit. When she tried it on, she looked so cute! I warned her, though, that if she got these little puffy things wet that I did not know what they would look like, so she had better just sit very still in the hot tub!

They joined their friends, left early, and 750 miles later arrived at their destination. As is their custom, there was an overnight planned stop so the trip would be tolerable. The convention was fun for them, and Mom even had one fellow there tell her that she was the "nicest Southern lady" there! She came back beaming and telling us about that. They made several day-trips through the mountains with their group and yes, she enjoyed the hot tub.

We shared their trip through pictures on their return, and I treasure them now more than ever. I have one video, that is particularly poignant now that Mom has passed. She is taking pictures of the beautiful Smoky Mountains and saying how grateful she is that she had a chance to experience this in her life.

If spirits are aware of what is happening on earth, my birth-father is probably turning in his grave! Dad was anything BUT the motorcycle type. And although they were married for 48 years, he was not the romantic type. I am so very grateful that Mom had the opportunity in her life to experience a different kind of love from this man. This Tennessee trip was not their first trip to the mountains. She had mailed me pictures to Hawaii of her and him having a picnic on the rocks in the middle of a mountain stream. It made me so happy that he was giving Mom a totally different experience in life.

Mom continued to ride with him and their relationship spanned 30 years, until she passed. At 92, she could not get on and off the bike easily. She had to face the fact that she could no longer ride with him. She was sad that she would not "feel the wind and see new places". It was heartbreaking when she finally had to give it up.

Seeing my Mom go through her breast cancer ordeal really affected me emotionally. I was so grateful that she survived and lived many years more to enjoy her life. The experience inspired me to help others who have faced that same situation. The American Cancer Society was so very helpful to Mom post-surgery. I am not a wealthy person so a large monetary donation was out of the question. However, I realized I could give back another way.

Being that I am a chip off the old block, my life is rather unorthodox as well. At 76, I am a full-time professional Zumba instructor. In pre-pandemic times, I taught as many as 10 classes per week. When October Breast Cancer Month came around after Mom's operation, I decided to hold a Zumbathon. Zumbathons are charity events where there is a door fee to participate but the Instructor is donating all or most of the proceeds to a charity. I had a very humble start that first year, in the back room of a local flea market where it drew just a handful of people. The event grew and grew until the pandemic. I had to skip 2020. For four years prior, the event had become a public event in our local shopping mall. As of our last Zumbathon, we had collected close to $10,000 for the American Red Cross in my Mom's honor.

As soon as I am able, I will return to the annual event. My Zumba Lovers work very hard to collect funds and contribute generously personally each year. I am blown away by how they have embraced this cause. Our contribution will not set any new records, but I am sure it will help other people fighting this horrible disease.

Across social media these days, you often see memes and posts about living your life each day as if it is your last, enjoying every moment. That is the gift my Mom gave me. She demonstrated an amazing love and fascination for life. She was not afraid to take risks. And, she had amazing strength in the face of whatever life threw her way. She is my hero and always will be!