Never Having A Father!!

I sit every year trying to find the words. EVERY YEAR! I sit here thinking, hoping, praying this will be the years; the year I will finally be able to come to terms, to understand, to gain closure about how I feel about Father’s Day. I am not sure, this is the year, nor do I believe I will be able to completely do this conversation justice, however I am confident because this is the year I can actually begin to look at it. To give more context, for Thirty six years, now I have just swept my feelings under the rug, asking why I have to deal with this again? I don’t want too, it is too painful, I just want to speed through, and get through. I am so glad, that was then, and this is now; but before we can deal with the now, we must deal with then, because its time.

Thirty six years ago I was born. I do not need to mention who my parents are, as I do not wish to bring shame to them. I am grateful now because I can speak without wishing to shame them, a mindset, I must confess I have not had always. I walked around in silence, boiling inside with confusion, and hurt. Why do I not have a father? Why must I deal with this thing called manhood alone?

My early years were pretty chill. Most of the kids in my hood also did not have fathers, so I really did not know what I was missing. You wish to know the truth? If I could live forever in that world? The world of chill? The world where nothing really mattered, the world where I did not have to care, man the land of Peter Pan is the greatest land of all.

SADLY, that world does not exit past six years old; and as I grew up, so did the unanswered question, and the desire to need answers. I never asked my family about my dad, because It seemed to me to be a taboo subject. For those of you, who may have a question or two about why I never asked? It was simple. No one wanted to talk about it, and if you were a kid from the nineties, you knew you didn’t ask anything you weren’t allowed to ask; it sucked but its the hard facts.

I bring this up now, because it is something we all must deal with!! How many young people are holding in how they feel? How many people are old with double even triple generations of children, yet still struggling with the horrors of their adolescence? Manhood let’s just be real, it is for many is hell.

In 1992 25% of African-American families were simple nuclear families in comparison to 36% of all US families. Almost 70 percent of black children are born to unmarried parents. Let’s head back yonder, because in 1965, the out-of-wedlock birth rate was 25% among Blacks. In 1991, 68% of Black children were born outside of marriage.

In 2011, 72% of Black babies were born to unmarried mothers. In 2015, 77% of Black babies were born to unmarried mothers. Among all newlyweds, 18.0% of Black Americans in 2015 married non-Black spouses. 24% of all Black male newlyweds in 2015 married outside their race, compared with 12% of Black female newlyweds.

What is my point? I believe some if not close to a significant amount of the struggles we face as African American people, is because of statistics like these mentioned. I am not here to tell anyone how to live their lives, but I will ask we consciously consider what impact our choices have!

Fellas she is more than a piece of 🍑booty🍑 she needs your love, she needs your support, and most importantly the life she brings into this world needs you..